best way to break up with a girl

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transferpricingCFA's picture

Ok, I know I been bitching on, but I realised now i got to break up with this girl.

We started dating in late sept, so havent been going out 3 months even yet.

But she is well into me and I see her a lot. But I know that long term shes probably not right, and basically its the sex thats great.

I dunno waht to do, should I just take up smoking or do drugs or soemthing, it just seems easier that way? As maybe it wil force her to break upwith me.

I do really like her, but yeh, I think I like someone else more.  

AndrewUNH's picture

just say you think you should see other people…..

Black Swan's picture

oh good god

redacted

higgmond's picture

Pass her a note during homeroom.

I cannot sanction your buffoonery.

itera's picture

Tell her you never want to get married and want to fool around forever, that will usu. work. And if not, then it’s open season

Hope. It is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength, and greatest weakness.

Alucard's picture

So sex with this girl is good but you want to break up with her because she is probably not right for you in the long term…
why don’t you tell us the real reason you want to break up with her and then we’ll tell you the right wayto do it.

ohai's picture

Ask her for a threesome. Either she breaks up with you or she’s into it. So, either you get what you want or something better.

“Be aware of this 40 year old men in our country.They suffer from mid life crisis and are always trying to be in the good books of young girls.” -Rahul Roy

Sweep the Leg's picture

Get her a decorative cake with a personalized message saying you’re breaking up with her. Sure, she’ll be upset, but she also gets cake. How mad could she be?

Black Swan's picture

Just to be clear, this is the same girl you through a hysterical fit over (on an online forum) when she didn’t text you back within two hours while she was working, correct?

redacted

BValGuy's picture

^ yeah, TP, if this is the same girl that drove you nuts over a seemingly brief period that she was unresponsive, maybe you do really have it bad for her. I think I’d be afraid if you found someone that you like even more….she would only have seconds to respond before you lose your top!

Systematic's picture

Dude, relax… your such a stage 5…

FrankArabia's picture

you’re pathetic…..cant’ you just go and perv on some other girl? can we see a pic of her by any chance?

higgmond's picture

FrankArabia wrote:
can we see a pic of her by any chance?

Preferably with very little clothing.

I cannot sanction your buffoonery.

Blake McCallister's picture

I’m 12 and what is this?

"Essentially, all models are wrong, but some are useful..."

brianr's picture

Really? This is beginning to smell like a troll.

bodhisattva's picture

transferpricingCFA wrote:

Ok, I know I been bitching on, but I realised now i got to break up with this girl.

We started dating in late sept, so havent been going out 3 months even yet.

But she is well into me and I see her a lot. But I know that long term shes probably not right, and basically its the sex thats great.

I dunno waht to do, should I just take up smoking or do drugs or soemthing, it just seems easier that way? As maybe it wil force her to break upwith me.

I do really like her, but yeh, I think I like someone else more.  

Honestly TP, if this is a legitimate post and this is how emotionally unstable you are in a relationship, I don’t think you should be in a relationship with anyone. You’re fucked up and you need some sort of help to deal with it.

purealpha's picture

transferpricingCFA wrote:

I dunno waht to do 

Cmon man just *do nothing*, no returning of calls or emails or whatever, poof gone.

bchad's picture

The sharpest knife deals the kindest cut. There is no way to get out without her being hurt and/or angry.

Your choices are:

1) Sit down and tell her that your feelings have changed and/or settled and that you want to cool it off and see other people. You’re sorry if she was hoping for more but that you just don’t see it going anywhere. This is hard to do but ultimately the most honorable and the most likely to preserve a friendship over the long term, if you care about that.

2) Just stop returning her calls until she gets the message. Thats the most cowardly, but it often works, unless she’s a stalker.

3) Get caught fooling around. This will usually make her decide to dump you and sometimes this saves her some pride (though if she’s insecure it can make it worse). But she may destroy your reputation with others if she is well connected in your peer group.

4) Start to be boring and unhygienic. She’ll want to leave you then. This makes it feel to her like it’s her decision, but it can take a while to happen and she may start trying to “fix” you first.

You want a quote?  Haven’t I written enough already???

purealpha's picture

Exactly it’s like in the movie MoneyBall where Brad Pitt teaches the kid how to fire people, “hey man, your fired, sorry…okay we are done here”.

Wow I had like 5 espressos and am coming up with the greatests internet wisdom!!! Coffee + internet = awesomeness.

missinglink's picture

Tell her you want to taste her chocolate starfish ……

ayodayo's picture

You can unintentionally leave your phone lying around the bedroom without password protection containing text messages from a week ago asking other women how bad they’d like to have sex (clean version). Worked like a charm for me.

transferpricingCFA's picture

Well, thing is Id like to do it, without her thinking Im a total jerk. But maybe this is unavoidable.

I am leaving soon overseas on holidays for over 3 weeks, can i work this into the equation some how?

Black Swan's picture

Just send her links to this thread and the other one, and I’m sure she’ll agree it’s the right choice.

redacted

CFAvsMBA's picture

Black Swan wrote:
Just send her links to this thread and the other one, and I’m sure she’ll agree it’s the right choice.

+1

Or have a friend’s cousin platonic male friend tweet your message to her fbook account.

krazykanuck's picture

transferpricingCFA wrote:
I am leaving soon overseas on holidays for over 3 weeks, can i work this into the equation some how?

You could just ignore her for those 3 weeks and hope she gets the picture.

ai434's picture

When in doubt, follow Jon Lajoie:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syXC5N8Q51I

FYI not NSFW

BangBusDriver's picture

1) Start eating more onions and garlic.
2) Take dressing advice from a computer science nerd.
3) Start poking her sisters and her hottest friends on Facebook.
4) Ask her for a threesome.
5) Learn some nasty corny jokes and spit those out on valentines day dinner.
6) Fart during sex.
7) Do not flush toilet when she’s with you.
8) Use Indian coconut oil for you hair.
9) Tell her you are HIV positive.
10) Tell her she’s fat.
11) Register on bestiality porn website with her email address and phone number.

She’ll herself leave you for sure, and effects are reversible except your self esteem maybe.

If she still choose to stay with you, then I guess you should re-think your decision of leaving her, you might be leaving a great value deal for an exotic option.

former trader's picture

Of course it’s possible to do it without being a jerk. Just start being really boring and nice. Send her flowers every 2 days and say you love her often.

Telling it like it is on AF since 2007.

ohai's picture

.

“Be aware of this 40 year old men in our country.They suffer from mid life crisis and are always trying to be in the good books of young girls.” -Rahul Roy

ohai's picture

Get some buddies to wear leather bondage equipment and pose with you in compromising positions. Then, wait for her to walk in. In fact, I volunteer the three commenters above me. Problem solved.

“Be aware of this 40 year old men in our country.They suffer from mid life crisis and are always trying to be in the good books of young girls.” -Rahul Roy

bchad's picture

former trader wrote:
Of course it’s possible to do it without being a jerk. Just start being really boring and nice. Send her flowers every 2 days and say you love her often.

Yeah, I forgot about this option. It should work well.

You can talk about how many babies you want to have and how they’re going to love her cooking and cleaning up after them.

You want a quote?  Haven’t I written enough already???

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