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"The Professional Wingman"

No, not an actual pilot who flies in formation with you. This is the type of wingman you bring to bars to help you pick up chicks. Now available for $125 an hour. Of course, now that this guy’s photo is on the internet, you will be immediately labeled as a date rapist if spotted in public with him. Ask about the 10% discount with each purchase of a new Breitling Navitimer.

“America fares quite well when it comes to gender equality […] relative to the rest of the world.” -zidhai

I want to short his practice. Once Nuppie heals, he’s history.

^ Right on