weekend "guest" tips

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Tulips's picture

transferpricingCFA wrote:
Do you guys think its a bad move to message her and says “Hi, you seem to be avoiding me. I don’t mind if youre feelings have changed, but I would appreciate if you could be straight with me and let me know”

No ew. Dont say that.

Something more along the lines…. “I like you. Would love to bang you. You in or out?”

Both of you complicated the situation too much.

transferpricingCFA's picture

Hmm, im not sure what to do based on the advice here. Leave it and back burner it.

Or just tell her what I want.
But I will at least make sure what I do doesnt sound desperate or needy I think thats the overriding message here.

CFAvsMBA's picture

^ people like you make me ashamed to be a male! Jeez, were you over circumcised and castrated as a newborn?! Grow some fuggin stones you pus$y!

The Righteous Hacksaw's picture

I am really starting to think you are winding us up. I’m up in Kashmir skiing so I can’t really write an adequate response to this.

Short Version Rant Against Complicated Chicks: You are starting to learn why I no longer like complicated “quirky” girls. In fact, be glad that you have not put one through her yet, because even if you manage to get her to fall madly in love with you, these types of problems do not go away. What’s worse is that they are exacerbated when you act indecisive and feminine.

LOS: The best type of women are simple, even tempered, dependable, and kind. This might not be what turns you on, but I really think you ought to learn to appreciate them.

This Girl: Bin her. Throw her in the FUCKING BIN. Honestly, you’ll be over her soon enough. Don’t risk developing more feelings for her.

But if you can’t be sensible, then you at least need to ignore the shit out of her. If you wait a while and see her again it will essentially reset the whole way she feels about you. Women are a bit like Gold Fish when it comes to their long-term memory sexually. Their judgement about you sexually will expire if she doesnt see you for a while. Ever run into a chick you used to be friends with years ago and suddenly bang her the first time you saw her? Happens to me all the time.

A month from now (don’t tell her that you’ll call her in a month by the way) when she calls you be:

FUN, CONFIDENT, PLAYFULLY SEXUAL, and certainly NOT NEEDY, FEMININE, INDECISIVE.

If you cant do this, what you need is a lesbian. They might be attracted to this type of behavior.

No Homo

The Righteous Hacksaw's picture

CFAvsMBA wrote:
^ people like you make me ashamed to be a male! Jeez, were you over circumcised and castrated as a newborn?! Grow some fuggin stones you pus$y!

It’s not his fault, this is the result of a feminist castrated post modern male childhood in western liberal society. I was victimized the same was as Transfer Pricing. Fortunately, early on in my sexuality I witnessed more atavistic males in other societies and learned to throw out the J. Alfred Prufrock routine very quickly.

No Homo

transferpricingCFA's picture

thanks chickentikka. I like your advice. Its probably the best, jsut to leave it for a month and see if she contacts me at all during this time.
Then I think after a month Ill just throw out a hail mary and and say i been thinking of her and hows she doing.
Its gonna be hard though to not contact her and just tell her i like her, whats your deal. But ill try not to crack

CFAvsMBA's picture

You’re suppose to shoot steroids, not estrogen son. Bulk up with some roids!!!

The Righteous Hacksaw's picture

transferpricingCFA wrote:
thanks chickentikka. I like your advice. Its probably the best, jsut to leave it for a month and see if she contacts me at all during this time.
Then I think after a month Ill just throw out a hail mary and and say i been thinking of her and hows she doing.
Its gonna be hard though to not contact her and just tell her i like her, whats your deal. But ill try not to crack

Don’t tell her that you have been thinking about her when you talk to her next. Tell her about something cool you just did: “Hey, I just got back from zimbabwe with my friend Puff Daddy. How’s life?”

No reason to talk about the past or anything like that. Just keep it cool and casual. Then put your hand on her ass, then lunge in for the kill. Then get it out as fast as possible.

No Homo

DonDraper's picture

Listen to CTikka! What a hero–wish I’d had his advice when I was a student.

transferpricingCFA's picture

Ok the saga continues. Look I did what I shouldnt have and I texted her. I just said something like, HI, was just wondering why I hadnt heard back from you.
She replied 10 mins later saying sorry we didnt speak on thurs, that she fell asleep at like 7 has had a busy week. And said she was going skiing now and would look for me online to speak when she got back home.
Anyway, as maybe you can guess I didnt hear from her.

Now I am cool with it and just going to leave it and move on, because I really dont want anyone full of this much crap. But I am just wondering, what would you guys think her deal is, do you reall keep leading someone on like this and being specific in when you would speak to them if you dont want to? is that normal, normally I would expect someone not to reply? Or be a lot more vague in their response? Is she just keeping me in her back pocket maybe?
Ideas welcome, as I try to dissect further into the female mind.

Kiakaha's picture

My 2 cents: based on the way you acted over the weekend, she is aware that you are sensitive and a ‘nice guy’. so she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. Problem is, she doesn’t want to do you, either. So she’s trying to get out of the situation in a way that doesn’t make her feel mean/guilty.
advice for next time: if a girl agrees to come stay at your place, just the two of you, she is interested. this is a situation where you will be a million times more successful by taking the lead, rather than obsessive-compulsively analyzing everything, then sleeping on the couch.

Kiakaha's picture

also (just re read your post) – she invited you to share the bed and you still didn’t make a move??? How much more of a signal do you need!?

bchad's picture

Well, there was spooning, that’s the next logical move, and that’s supposed to lead to kissing or fondling, but apparently she didn’t feel comfortable going beyond spooning.

In my experience, this happens a fair amount with US-born women. It’s the puritanical strain in our culture. Many women feel ok going right up to the point of teasing and almost-there, but they are afraid to do anything that would actually give them any “co-responsibility” for the final step that leads to sex. Aggressive guys don’t care and will take that step for them, which is one reason that many women like those kinds of guys. Nice guys want to feel assured that she won’t decide in the morning that he raped her because she didn’t consent to that very last step. But the signal that would reassure him is precisely the signal that would suggest that she consented to sex, and our puritan culture then asks her to feel bad about herself for that.

I’ve not found this issue with Europeans and Latins (I don’t know how Asians are on this point). They can change their minds about things if you do or say something klutzy that makes them feel bad or unattractive, but they generally don’t have any issue cooperating with you in getting to a place that you both would like to go, and they certainly won’t let you get anywhere near the runway unless they’re prepared to clear you for take-off.

You want a quote?  Haven’t I written enough already???

CFAvsMBA's picture

Visit websites that end in hub.

Black Swan's picture

bchadwick wrote:
Well, there was spooning, that’s the next logical move, and that’s supposed to lead to kissing or fondling, but apparently she didn’t feel comfortable going beyond spooning.

In my experience, this happens a fair amount with US-born women. It’s the puritanical strain in our culture. Many women feel ok going right up to the point of teasing and almost-there, but they are afraid to do anything that would actually give them any “co-responsibility” for the final step that leads to sex. Aggressive guys don’t care and will take that step for them, which is one reason that many women like those kinds of guys. Nice guys want to feel assured that she won’t decide in the morning that he raped her because she didn’t consent to that very last step. But the signal that would reassure him is precisely the signal that would suggest that she consented to sex, and our puritan culture then asks her to feel bad about herself for that.

I’ve not found this issue with Europeans and Latins (I don’t know how Asians are on this point). They can change their minds about things if you do or say something klutzy that makes them feel bad or unattractive, but they generally don’t have any issue cooperating with you in getting to a place that you both would like to go, and they certainly won’t let you get anywhere near the runway unless they’re prepared to clear you for take-off.

Agreed, when I was in Latin America for a couple months back in college, girls would whistle and catcall guys in the street and the club. It was amazing, almost like total role reversal. Within a few days of constantly getting hit on, I think pretty much every guy in our group decided they never wanted to leave. It’s kind of sh*tty when you see what the US role casting (where women have to pretend they have no sex drive and men have to make every move) does to the male ego and the dating scene in general in the US. I haven’t spent much time in Europe, so I can’t comment on that, but I’ve heard good things as well.

Tangentially to this point: Recently in a bizarre and crazy chain of events that will only sound more ridiculous if I tried to justify or explain them, I wound up striking things back up with a muslim girl from the gulf region I met while in Egypt traveling and things are sort of spiraling towards an impending engagement (and a requisite conversion from Christianity to Islam that my parents are REAL psyched about). But I was flat out stunned along the way to find out she was WAAAAY less restrictive and much crazier and open in certain aspects of the relationship than the American girls I’ve dated. So, I’m starting to really think the Puritan impact on the American dating scene makes it one of the worst globally.

redacted

transferpricingCFA's picture

Update:
I never texted again and oddly she called me yesterday afternoon. She played like everything was normal, just been busy.

pimpineasy's picture

have you tried showing up outside of her apartment with a michael bolton celine dion mix on blast with flowers and chocolate?
i only ask cuz this would really really really work

Hope this helps

bchad's picture

So she’s not really sure what she wants, other than not to feel guilty about anything.

So you can keep her on the back burner and entertained, but she sounds like someone who will flip back and forth constantly between hot and cold. Handle with care, and if you start to develop feelings for her, don’t indulge them until you she’s shown consistent interest for a while.

You want a quote?  Haven’t I written enough already???

Blake McCallister's picture

Black Swan wrote:

Tangentially to this point: Recently in a bizarre and crazy chain of events that will only sound more ridiculous if I tried to justify or explain them, I wound up striking things back up with a muslim girl from the gulf region I met while in Egypt traveling and things are sort of spiraling towards an impending engagement (and a requisite conversion from Christianity to Islam that my parents are REAL psyched about). But I was flat out stunned along the way to find out she was WAAAAY less restrictive and much crazier and open in certain aspects of the relationship than the American girls I’ve dated. So, I’m starting to really think the Puritan impact on the American dating scene makes it one of the worst globally.

“Tangentially?” You don’t say? ROFL

"Essentially, all models are wrong, but some are useful..."

The Righteous Hacksaw's picture

Black swan, I’d only marry a Muslim chick if I 1) didn’t have to live in a Muslim country and 2) her parents were either dead or lived in a different country very far away.

I got a buddy who married an Omani (is that the word?) chick from a high class family that he met at b school. He had to convert and they are systematically ruining his life. He lives in Oman just because he knows he won’t be able to see his kids again.

By the way, the guy is loaded himself, so it’s not like he should feel inferior. They just make him feel that way.

No Homo

Black Swan's picture

Yah, this family’s pretty liberal. They’re openly fine with me converting in name only and the daughter coming to live here (she’s actually pretty stoked about that). So I’m not so worried about the muslim background itself so much as some of the culture differences (not so outdoorsy, etc). We’ll see though.

redacted

pimpineasy's picture

alcohol?
bacon?
2nd wives?

these question need to be answered b4 u convert

Hope this helps

ohai's picture

Congratulations on your engagement. Hopefully, you’ve already… err, done the surgical procedure…

“Be aware of this 40 year old men in our country.They suffer from mid life crisis and are always trying to be in the good books of young girls.” -Rahul Roy

Black Swan's picture

pimpineasy wrote:
alcohol?
bacon?
2nd wives?

these question need to be answered b4 u convert

Yes
Yes
Adamant no (I tried)

redacted

Black Swan's picture

ohai wrote:
Congratulations on your engagement. Hopefully, you’ve already… err, done the surgical procedure…

Haha, I’m good. Engagement not official yet. Just probable.

redacted

pimpineasy's picture

hahaha just as well 1 wife is bad enough can you imagine 2…………anyways congrats

Hope this helps

Inner Evil Voice's picture

Engagements across borders …. ahh, so many fond memories. I have a friend who was married in one country, engaged in another, and had a girlfriend in another. The other day wifey asked me: “how come all of your friends are a bunch of motherf_ _ _ pr!cks?” I didn’t know what to say.

smuggycfa's picture

All you heart-broken people, check out this website www.wotwentwrong.com
There is an app where you fill out a short form and send it to ur ex. Then,you get a feedback that you can use to improve your future dating.

ohai's picture

Hmm. That’s an interesting concept. I find it highly improbable, though, that people will be objective about breakup reasons. Even if it was due to something obvious like cheating, people might make up some reason like “you were emotionally unavailable” instead of admitting the truth, i.e. “I was horny”.

“Be aware of this 40 year old men in our country.They suffer from mid life crisis and are always trying to be in the good books of young girls.” -Rahul Roy

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