Chuck Norris can borrow at the discount window. Chuck Norris can sell $300bln in high yield loans before lunch. Chuck Norris doesn’t hedge . He waits. Chuck Norris doesn’t target inflation. He roundhouse-kicks it until it begs for mercy. The Chuck Norris dollar buys 3 Canadian dollars, and trades at parity with the euro. Chuck Norris doesn’t supply collateral, only collateral damage. The tears of Chuck Norris would supply enough liquidity to solve the credit crisis. Too bad he never cries. When the yield on a Chuck Norris bond goes up, the price also rises. Alan Greenspan calls Chuck Norris ``The Maestro.’’ Chuck Norris has already banked his dividend payment from Northern Rock Plc. Chuck Norris doesn’t borrow at the Fed’s discount window. Chuck Norris LENDS at the Fed’s discount window. There is no market regulator. Just a list of securities Chuck Norris allows to be traded. Chuck Norris doesn’t buy gold to hedge against inflation. Gold buys Chuck Norris to hedge against inflation. Chuck Norris charges the Bank of England a penalty rate for borrowing. And guarantees its deposits. Chuck Norris gets ALL of his funding from the asset-backed commercial paper market. Chuck Norris doesn’t mark-to-market. The market marks to Chuck Norris. When the U.S. economy sneezes, the world catches a cold. When Chuck Norris sneezes, the U.S. economy catches pneumonia. Chuck Norris thinks Credit Crunch is a breakfast cereal Chuck Norris isn’t a market maker; he IS the market. Chuck Norris subprime collateralized debt obligations still trade at 100 percent of face value. Chuck Norris has a trade surplus with China
I want him to regulate this market…where the fk is he?
When interest rates rise, Chuck Norris’s bond prices rise as well. Chuck Norris’s options are always in the money.
Daaaahahaha…oh man…I really needed this today. A+ Willy
Chuck Norris can cut interest rates and inflation at the same time
Chuck Norris only bails out as a form of contraception.
Well done! "When the yield on a Chuck Norris bond goes up, the price also rises. " FTW
“Chuck Norris thinks Credit Crunch is a breakfast cereal” thats’s too hilarious!! thanks budfox!
Chuck Norris should take a day off from selling stock in his IRA so the market can have just one up day this month. While we are at it, Chuck Norris should tell the voters to stay home this Nov, cause he is going to immediately get to work fixing everything from energy, to pork spending, to regulation, to war, to immigration, to taxes and so on, by beating the imbeciles in DC and each state capital senseless and then personally appointing a P, VP, Senate, House, and etc. on down that knows what the F*** they are doing and that can formulate and implement some sensible plans before the turn of the next century. I mean s**t, the aliens are looking at us right now and they are laughing their a**es off. Sorry. that is not cool. my bad.
Drink a beer slouiscar.
I said I was sorry…