So I’ve been in a pretty down mood the last couple days and I’m not really sure what to do about it. I could drink excessively, but that’s neither a good or long term solution. From an objective 3rd party’s view, nothing in my life is bad. I have a good job with a good company, I am well on my way to getting all my credentials, and I have a disfunctional family that is in good health.
Problem are that I hate my job, but since they hold my work visa, I can’t easily go anywhere else. Also my HR won’t let me work on the projects that I want to work on, but rather what they want me to do. That’s a big drag on my mood.
Second problem is my personal life is so depressing that I probably make Frank and his HCBs look like Hugh Hefner. Shockingly telling girls you just passed CFA L2 and are half done with your CPA doesn’t make them jump into bed, or even go on a 2nd date with you.
Any hints on how to get out of my rut? I already exercise to try to work off the excess stress, but that hasn’t helped noticably.
Try internet dating. That’s what I would do if was single. Treat it like a game and have fun with it. You might even find some L1 candidate young thing who thinks L2 pass is pretty sexy.
Try picking up a hobby. I know it sounds stupid, but if you feel like you are being productive and balanced outside of work, that will make the repetitive nature of your job seem less significant. Maybe consider signing up for a long distance run (which will make you stick to a training schedule), take up some kind of martial arts or dancing lesson, play a musical instrument, etc. Some of this might even help you meet chicks.
Also, maybe you just need a vacation. Come to think of it, I need to get the fuck out of here for a while…
Online dating: Been doing that for a while now, yet with almost all of the women I meet from there, I can’t get past the first drink/coffee whatever. I did get a one night stand out of though, so it hasn’t been a total loss!
Also yes I definitely need a vacation. I haven’t taken a single vacation day other then office holidays since I started in January. Hoping to take a week off in December and go play golf in Mexico for a week.
I told myself that I need to find a hobby besides studying for exams once I’m done with the CPA exams, which will hopefully be around Thanksgiving.
It could be worse, I mean, it’s not like you’re Canadian or - oh shit, scratch that.
It sounds like the females got you down, I’d try to just get out with the guys and do fun shit- watch football, go golfing, BBQ… whatevs. Then get drunk and try to pull chicks at night… hit up some happy hours too.
And stick w/ the online dating but use it as a supplementary way of meeting chicks.
Btw, some day the most clingy/controlling person ever will be nagging you to go to the farmers market on Sundays with her mom and tabbing up your Amex the other 6 days of the week… You’ll kill to get back the freedom you have rt now.
Excercising - run/jump/walk/jog/cycle or swim - do what you like…
Take up a hobby
If you are asking what I have done over the past three weeks. I have taken up photography as a hobby and started running big time… I quit smoking three weeks back too, from 20 cigs a day to none
Search “wear sunscreen” in youtube and watch that video mate! I did so 3 weeks ago and one thing that stuck me most in that was - “Challenge yourself daily, do something which you think you can never do”… I am doing that exactly, everyday not taking a cig for me is a challenge and then running is another big big challenge.
Then to top it all, I went and registered for a half marathon I had a sligh ACL issue on my left leg two years back
I stopped smoking from about 8 cigs a day exactly a week ago. Been a little tricky. Every time I start wanting one I just remind myself that that’s why I have to stop. I hate the idea of being addicted.
There is an excellent write-up in Brett Steenbarger’s “Psychology of Trading” where he talks about the importance of diversification in your trading positions. He also relates it to how important it is to other things in your life – you never want to be completely levered or dependent on one thing to make you happy or sad. Rather, if it’s possible to have multiple channels that can make you happy, even if one thing goes wrong you can have other things going right. It’s the same way in trading, where you never want to size one position so huge that the rest of your portfolio will tank if that one position goes wrong.
It sounds like if work is causing you a drag, try to make time for other things such as sports, hanging out with friends, going to social events/mixers and meeting new people. For me, I would say the things taking up most of these times are my work, my girlfriend, sports, running my career advisory business, and hanging out with friends. Even if four of these things are going southbound for me, the chances that at least one of them can still be going well is critical and prevents me from becoming a total melon.
Diversify your risk. Maybe you think your job sucks but there are other ways you can make yourself happy. Plus, having a crappy job still beats being unemployed.
Kanuck, I recently went from being in a longterm relationship to single, a bit depressed, and really really bored. (I also have a boring job)
My way out:
I took up salsa dancing a few weeks ago (BChadwick and Ohai recommendation). It’s entertaining and there are very attractive ladies. Most importantly, it’s the complete opposite of Excel spreadsheets and reading through legal documents.
I called up old friends I haven’t seen in a while to see what they were up to. Assuming they have a social life (and like you), you can just tag along with their group of friends and meet girls that way. Easy + no pressure
I started running with a friend of mine, which i like much more than going to the gym solo.
I’m not sure who said this but I completely agree: ‘The opposite of being happy is being bored’
A good idea is to first ‘pick up smoking cigarettes’… get to a pack a day… then ‘quit cold turkey’. That’ll be a major shock to your system (but I think it’s relatively safe to quit nicotine cold turkey).
I’m still on 3/4 pack a day, but after reading this thread, I’m going to first cut down to say, 5 cigs a day. And probably join a boxing gym.
Another thing to do, is, ‘cash out your 401(k)’ take the 10-20% vigorous mandatory early penalty, and try to make up that loss trading the hell out of it, and then double it on penny stock pharmaceuticals that are going into Phase 1 FDA approval. Load up on those sons of bitches…
As for the ladies… try working on women/girls that you normally aren’t attracted too, that is often times very enlightening.
For example, date a divorced women in say, her 60’s, or maybe 50’s. They have ‘tons of wisdom’. Then mix it up a bit, stroll the college campus areas… you like fat, skinny, brunette, etc…
Go to a Starbucks, with a Dunkin Donuts coffee in your hand, and just sit in front of the first single girl you see. Watch her reaction.
Check out a local AA meeting. Just for kicks.
Go to a Scientology church, and fck with their brains. Just for kicks.
watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians (start with season 1, don’t skip seasons) in between reading financial statements and financial literature…second, don’t put so much emphasis on CFA/CPA those are just stupid degrees that matters very little…you can start drinking too, it does help but that too gets boring…
Try reading the Budda’s four noble truths. In a nutshell there is suffering (death, hunger, not getting what we want, sickness, loneliness, etc), and there is nothing we can do about it except acknowledging the existence of suffering and we can move on.
