"I am one of the most successful men you will ever meet"

Water Cooler
#1

Heard a young man say this to an attractive girl at a pub in Victoria BC Canada. The girl asked why he thinks that? With his head tilted high and chest puffed out, the young man explained that he was a Chartered accountant working in audit at the local Grant Thorton office…

I found this pretty funny, what about you guys?

#2

  1. Pics

  2. Pics

  3. Really weak materail

#3

That is really funny. Personally, I usually do whatever I can to avoid talking about work as I find that girls tend to be more interested in getting to know me that way. I get the sense that usually they realize I’m not some random riff-raff and are somehow more intrigued by the fact that I’m keeping what I do in suspense…this guy, on the other hand, is a fool!

#4

I wouldn’t be surprised if he got laid. Girls like that kind of attitude. If she didn’t blow him off right away, his odds increase. It’s probably not the first time he used that line so I bet he knows what he’s doing.

#5

Or maybe it explains why he’s still single and searching.

#6

Or maybe he’s a player that prefers being a bachelor.

#7

All we know about this guy is that he’s a chartered accountant.

Based on this information, do we think…

a) he’s a smooth operating ladies man

b) he’s a hopeless douchebag

I’m going with option b.

#8

Maybe this works for him and the kind of girls he’s interested in. Birds of a feather…

#9

Worse than M&a’in on the buyside.

#10

legit question, is there a stigma or something to buyside m&a? Curious as my firm is planning to start an m&a unit next year and I’m a prime candidate for the position…

#11

It’s an oxymoron at heart. Buyside is for BSDs.

#12

Reminds me of another true story:

  1. D-bag friend of friend goes into The French Laundry in Yountville without a reservation and demands a table.
  2. Unsurprisingly, there are no free tables available and they can’t be seated.
  3. D-bag puffs up and proclaims “Don’t you know who I am?!”
  4. Maitre’d: “I’m sorry sir, I unfortunately do not.”
  5. D-bag: “I WORK AT GOLDMAN SACHS.”
#13

haha i thought canadians were more sensible/humble than the average…eh?

#14

Really, its much easier to impress women by lying about the size of your penis.

#15

Lying?

#16

y da heck are you listening in on some other man’s convo…

#17

Ha, some db on the train was trying to impress my gf yesterday. This is how she described him.

Ugly khakis, Goldman gym bag, douchebag hair, 24 years old talking to her for no reason at 7:45 on Amtrak:

“I just got back from an epic weekend in DC. Now I’m going to to work. I work at Goldman Sachs.”

Goldman must tell these kids they are the best thing ever and are sure to be BSDs. I used to work with a few people from Goldman (~7 years there) and other than their propensity to be really big on face time and their tendency to use more business speak (we don’t need to boil the ocean here, this is just an optics issue) nothing really special compared to someone from JPM or Citi. Telling a stranger where you work reeks of insecurity.

#18

hahahahhahaha

#19

My man Bodh had a good summary on this. It had to do with his roommate making $7/hr with a resume of crime charges yet slaying 10s while the DBs we’re describing above are making mid 5-figs yet still unsure of themselves so they fall back on their career. Nevermind most mentioned are probably office bitches reconciling trades and or assisting ER.

Like others have mentioned, I HATE talking about work. Often when I"m asked what I do, I describe my hobbies or passions. If asked what I do for work, I tell them. I sit at a desk and push buttons on a computer all day. Instead of asking, “What do you do?” ask them, “How do you like to spend your time?” This will open up the conversation to much more enjoyable topics instead of a boring work conversation. Please.

#20

He might be right, in Victoria.

And that might be a good line to go with if he had something more interesting to back it up.