Dear dailymail

If you can stop posting updates to Kate and Williams’ inconsequential NZ trip as your front page story everyday I’d greatly appreciate it.

K thx

Today’s headlines:

Almost bowled over! Kate narrowly avoids getting hit in the head by a ball as she plays cricket in heels against William

In heels *and a suit*. Get your facts right!

Why do you read DailyMail everyday?

Did I read heels? Where are the pics!

I actually pity the kid, A swan in a glided cage.

Just read your toilet paper instead, same thing.