To Black Swan, with love

Water Cooler
#1

No homo.

Read the “New York Men” thread after AF had gone read-only on Friday. I was in Dallas goofing off (and NOT getting ready for CFA exams, thank God) so I didn’t follow the story as it developed.

Noticed that you said you were expecting a baby in August, and at that time you’ll have known her for 16 months. If my math is correct, it seems you met her in April-ish of 2013, then you “conveniently” cut out of AF around June. Now we know the real reason. It seems other things were on your mind other than moderating. smiley

Heard the good news about Baby Swan. Congratulations! Just wanted to offer my unsolicited .02 on the matter.

You might not have wanted a baby right now. I bet if we took a poll of all the dads on AF, almost all of them will tell you that they weren’t ready for kids. I certainly wasn’t. In fact, in December 2010, my wife and I were driving from San Antonio to Dallas to take L1 of the CFA exam, when my wife asked if I even wanted kids. I told her that I wasn’t really sure, but inside I was telling myself “No, I really don’t. Life’s pretty good the way it is.”

About two weeks later, she dropped the bomb on me, saying “Ready or not, here comes the baby.” I thought it was the end of the world. No more fun, no more going out, no more anything. I didn’t get excited at all. Didn’t care about the nursery, or buying baby bottles, or coming up with names, or any of that stuff. I just didn’t care.

In fact, I really was pretty apathetic to the whole situation until (I’m dead serious…) they said, “Here. Put on these clothes, becase we’re about to do a C-section.” That was the moment that shit got real. And I got scared, thinking, “Oh my God. There’s about to be a new kid. MY kid. And I can’t just shunt it off on somebody else. I’m going to have to take care of it.”

But when the baby girl came out and she held onto my finger for the first time, I knew I was in love. And I knew that it wasn’t the end of the world. It was the beginning of a whole new one.

My little girl will turn three in August, and my son will turn one in August. I can tell you 100% that these have been the best three years of my life. Having kids is the best experience I’ve ever had, and I wouldn’t give it up for anything. And I’m willing to bet that all the other parents will chime in pretty soon and tell you the same.

#2

Meh, i’m sure you have an extra hanger in your closet.

#3

+1 for Greenman.

#4

My kids were several years in the making, so I was very ready for them.

#5

#6

I agree Greenie, it doesn’t get real until you’re minutes away. I’m not sure I was ready at the time, but my son is really the highlight of every day for me now. Being a parent is a huge amount of work, but its the most rewarding work out there. Now for us its the question of whether we are ready for another. That sounds like even more work…

#7

To anyone who thinks greenie just a huge prick, this proves he has a soul. Well said buddy.

#8

Truth. Kids are the best. Nothing better than roughhousing with my 5 year-old when I come in the door. Only problem is that he does a world-class headbutt to the nads.

#9

My son is a giant so he was at that height last year when he was three. I’d walk through the door and I’d hear him tearing around the corner yelling “Dad!” only to get a massive hug with a side of headbutt to the pillar and stones.

#10

When he was a bit younger I trained him to headbutt on command. It was a big hit (pun intended) when he got my brother in law. I saw my son taking his marks across the room and distracted my BIL at just the right time. His two college-age daughters thought that was the highlight of the visit.

#11

My math may have been off, basically I found out in December a few days after Christmas. So, long after I quit posting here.

#12

how old are you guys? I was in HS when my parents had my sister, so I was old enough to understand that new born child/protective brother feeling, but I can’t imagine giving up all my free time/life for it. freedom to do anything/go anywhere without responsbilities and dating around sounds much more appealing…

#13

BS, youre gonna be a daddy bro. Congrats! Hopefully you didnt pass that bald gene on to your child.

#14

That’s what I thought too. Having kids changes you in ways you never thought possible.

#15

That’s what I fear. haha

#16

I’m 30, so in my mind we’re talking about giving up a few years at most by having the kid early. I’m really not too stressed about that aspect. If anything I was starting to get bummed about being stuck dating recycled and jaded product, so in some ways this is a bit of a huge win. Plus I think being a bachelor too long can make you a little flawed in your thinking and so overly hesistant to commit you end up letting good ones go. So I think I may have been helped out there too.

#17

^BTW, this isn’t kayak girl, is it?

#18

I agree that having kids changes you, but probably in somewhat predictable ways. Mostly your hormone balance changes. Your testosterone drops and prolactin, oxytocin increase. Basically, you become more effeminate. This makes you more interested in bonding with and nurturing small children. So, when you say going out and picking up chicks becomes superficial compared to staying at home with babies, maybe part of that is because you love the kids so much. However, part of it is also because your testes are not pumping you with the same level of male hormones as before.

#19

Greenie, is it your birthday in November or something?

#20

Honestly, I’m really not too worried about my testosterone levels. Especially if I’m using this forum as a baseline.