The best friend of the girl I'm dating wants to write a self help book for women

Water Cooler
#1

So we’re all hanging out having a drink tonight and the best friend (certified HCB) of the girl I’m seeing says: “I’m seriously considering writing a book”.

I’m thinking it’s the drinks, but she obviously has seriously thought this **** out. She’s got chapters and she’s got the title to the book: “How to have it all”. I’m pretty tipsy at this point and I ask: “What’s having it all?” She replies: " You know, having a kid, having a husband, having a good nice family, having a career, having a house". I snap back: “Okay, but you don’t have a kid, you don’t have a husband, your business (that honestly, does quite well I’ll give her that) doesn’t even have its own office and you live at home. So you basically don’t have it all but you want to give advice to others on how to have it all?” I mean, this girl was born on 3rd base and thinks she hit a triple, which is one thing, but now she’s got the f’n nerve to talk about writing a book about how to be born on third base. Actually now that I think about it, that should be the title of the book “Born on 3rd base”.

#2

Sounds like a no win discussion for you. Just be thankful she’s the best friend and not the girlfriend.

#3

Well, whatever she writes, I’m sure it won’t be worse than some other stuff that has been published. My Indian friend published a teen supernatural romance novel. It’s like Twilight but instead of vampires, it has these Indian mythological beings. I imagine rahul would write something like this if he were to write a novel.

The other day, I went to the Barnes and Noble store, and there is this guy doing book signings. I can’t avoid him because he is at the door and he trapped me. Apparently, his book is a political thriller set in some American town. The twist… is that the mayor is a secret vampire. I am like wtf is this shit…

#4

LMAO

#5

That’s basically a plotline in Buffy. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mayor_(Buffy_the_Vampire_Slayer)

#6

you should of told her that you read somewhere that a 3-some is the last item on the list of having it all

#7

never piss the best friend of your gf off…

#8

Never ever!

Unless you plan to break up, then you should get it all out with relish. Especially if the best friend is a complete tool and you had to keep it all inside for almost 2 years and you knew all along it is a super sensitive topic because obviously the GF knows just how much a tool this best friend is, and you make a list and go over all the things you didn’t say over the years and… wait what?

#9

Disagree…If it was the girlfriend you could just break up with her.

#10

“You want everything? Just help yourself!”

“Or help me help you.”

Thanks for the $14.95! Don’t forget to buy my elite version next year!

#11

I think as a business venture the book could have legs. People love to read self-help from unqualified people. As a book, well that’s another story…

#12

Sounds like a Womens Studies 101 textbook.

#13

Anyhow, I thought we agreed that the answer to this question is “be hot”.

#14

Hot women don’t need careers.

#15

plastic surgery, and not spitting

#16

I don’t like baseball, but that ‘born on third base and thinking you hit a triple’ almost made me coffee spray my monitor.

Leave it alone, this is a no win discussion. When did women ever need facts to back up their rationales?

#17

Those who can’t do, teach… Well, that’s what I continue to tell me family that resides in academia.

More importantly, and im a little surprised this wasnt mentioned, FT is dating? what’s the matter, getting old bruh?

#18

Agreed. You’re right, she definitely chose her parents well, and has no business telling people how to have success that she’s never achieved, but bringing that to her attention is going to merit you…what, exactly?

And did you know? The “born on third base” quote was actually coined by a football coach. (Barry Switzer, head coach for the Oklahomo Spooners and later the Dallas Cowboys)

#19

That huge chip on your shoulder is peeking out of your S/S button down greenie :wink:

You need to pick your battles. Winning a battle and losing the war is hardly a desirable outcome. Do you want to be Napoleon or Wellington?

Besides, plently of other people will call her out on it.

#20

I’m giving it a shot, but I must admit that it’s less exciting and more time consuming. Making plans to see each other twice a week? Who has time for that?