In the “How much do you spend?” thread,
So the question is—do you “owe” it to your kids to buy them an AF-approved education?
I’d say if they work hard to get in, then YES they deserve it
If they didn’t give a damn about school and end up going to some hacksaw-U, i’d say NO
I don’t “owe” my kids a college education, but if they are college material and honestly want to go, I would like to ease or eliminate their financial burden if I can.
^Yep
My opinion is: NO.
Since graduating from high school, I have received very little from my parents. In fact, I doubt that I have gotten more than $1000 from my parents since then, and that includes tuition, room/board, etc. at college. I paid for my own car and car insurance. When I wasn’t living in the dorms/barracks/military housing, I paid for my own rent with my own earnings.
Now, at 35, I have a great job that I really enjoy (even if I am somewhat underpaid). I have a fine house, two nice cars, and can afford to do pretty much anything that I really want to do. I’ve gone from blue-collar working-class to a white-collar job in the middle class. (Well, maybe it’s just a very pale shade of blue.) And I expect my earnings to increase substantially in the next few years.
I don’t hate or resent my parents for being poor, or for not helping me. They did what they could. And in fact, I think that’s it’s made me a better person. I appreciate what I have a little bit more, and I really feel like I accomplished a lot (rather than being born on third base).
.
I was being hurmorous when I wrote that. Although neither my wife or I had our college paid for (her mom, single parent, didn’t have the money and I had a scholarship), if we are able we will pay for tuition. I don’t have any kids yet, but I know that I’ll probably be unable to say no for something like that. However, I would have a minimum GPA stipulation, the same as if you were on scholarship.
Going to SUNY - Buffallo on my dime is fine. Going and getting a 2.5 is not.
I intend to pay for college for any kids I have. Although there are a lot of different viable view points for how to go through life (plumbers FTW), my personal view is that I shouldn’t have kids unless I am going to send them to college and/or present some other viable life plan for them. If they complete the plan and then choose to do something else, that’s up to them, but I feel like I owe my future offspring a positive direction in life and the rest is up to them.
Personal pet peeve, but I hate hearing s–t like, “There’s no way you can support a family of four on $15,000 a year.” Yeah? Then don’t have a family of four, retard. No one owes you anything, stop mooching off everyone else and maybe try to work a little harder. Sorry you had a kid at 15 and now work at Taco Bell but that’s on you, don’t look at me.
^Yeah, but if you have the money, would you pay for your kids to go to an Ivy League school?
Edit: That’s for Greenie
But it’s always about the poor kids in this situation. No one cares about the mom, it’s the kids that don’t deserve her poor choices. (That was somewhere between 40-75% sarcastic.)
The real solution to this specific problem is to liquidate the parental units and have the kids adopted by wealthy billionaires, Annie-style.
My wife thinks that we should send the kids to whatever school they want to go to, and they shouldn’t have to pay a dime. She believes that’s part of our duty as a parent.
I disagree. First, I think that if Junior has some skin in the game, he’ll be be a little more apt to pick a good school with a good major. Instead of going to a private liberal-arts school and majoring in poetry, he might go to University of Texas and major in accounting or nursing or engineering, or something else that is an actual marketable job skill. (For the record–the Northeast is far more “academic” than where I live, and I’m not sure that there are a lot of benefits at an AF-approved school at the undergrad level. But I digress…)
Second, I think there’s merit to making Junior struggle with tuition and student loan payments. Sure, it’s a heavy burden. But I think there’s a certain level of “character-building” that goes along with that, and it’s something that can’t be learned except through experience.
Third, it’s not as if I’m letting Junior fail. When he turns 30-something, if he’s done everything right and is successful, then I can pay off his student loans then. Just because I don’t pay for college at 18, that doesn’t mean that I can’t pay for it later, after I’m convinced that he’s not going to be a total loser.
Just like every parent, I want to give my kids every opportunity to succeed in life. But I’m not so sure that just giving them a blank check for college is really the best way to see them succeed.
An Ivy League education is only expensive if you have money. If you are accepted, the school makes sure you can afford to go there.
As long as my kid works hard and takes it serious, I’ll pay his way.
+1
Do you “owe” it to your kids? No. But there’s no doubt that not having student loans is a great head start in life. I was lucky enough to have parents who had the ability and willingness to pay for my education (along with my 2 siblings…the old man paid a fortune) and I plan to do the same if I can.
An MBA from UT is pretty damn good. They spit out PMs like it’s going out of style. Their whole program of letting the students manage (part, all?) of their endowment is great experience. I don’t believe undergrads get to participate, but I’m unsure. At any rate, I see PMs with an MBA from Texas all over the place.
That really has nothing to do with anything other than sticking it to the East coast elite.
no kids so i dont know.
I don’t owe them anything beyond a caring home. Beyond that its at my discretion.
^(edit - directed at Sweep)
So, to answer your question, would I pay for my kids to go to an Ivy-league school if I could afford it?
Again, I might change my mind in the next 15-17 years. But right now, I’m inclined to say “No.” Why should I shell out $50k a year for you to go to NYU when you could get 95% of the education at UT or A&M?
If you’re really super-excited about going to NYU, and you think you’ll be successful enough to warrant the extra expense, then by all means, borrow the money and go. When you start pulling in millions from your hedge fund, you won’t need my money any more.
And if you do need my money, then you fucked up somehow, and I don’t want to pay for your fuck-ups. At least I’ll have it in my own bank account, where I have some control over how it’s spent.
No, don’t owe it to them. But as I don’t believe in inheritance, that’s going to be my gift to them. As Mr. Buffett says, losely, I’ll give them enough to do anything, but not so much they’ll do nothing. With a North American education, you can do anything. So that’s all they’ll get. Honestly an undergrad degree paid for is a better head start than 99% of people on Earth. If they can’t run with that, its not my problem.
I like Greenman’s thoughts; it’s like setting up an SPE.
There is the philosophical difference in the way people view families in a multi generational space. To some people or cultures, family is like a “team sport”. The failure of the parents is the failure of the whole family, including the kids. It does not make sense, based on this view, to separate the failure of parents from the misfortune of the children. Cultures that have this view (Asians), tend to have parents that push the kids hard to succeed in school or careers.
However, the American or Western view tends to focus on individuality. They believe in this idea of success through sheer individual talent or willpower, kids should “pursue their own interests”, or other self fulfillment stuff like that. This manifests in other ways that affect life planning - for instance, parents in Western countries are expected to be self sufficient in retirement, as opposed on relying on their kids for support, like Asians do.
I tend to subscribe to the first philosophy, but that is probably due to my background and upbringing. If I am a BSD now, it is due to the cumulative efforts of generations of my family and not due to something that I spontaneously did. If I have kids and they have privileges in life, I enjoy that success, not just them.