Skymall declares BK

The much beloved catalog full of really weird shit you would never actually buy but always look at on the plane has just declared bankruptcy.

http://gizmodo.com/america-enters-its-darkest-days-skymall-lands-in-bankr-1681348690?utm_campaign=socialflow_gizmodo_facebook&utm_source=gizmodo_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

This is a sad day as this catalog as some of the products sold here have been a hilarious source of amusement over the years.

My favorite was this weird headmask pillow:

http://www.amazon.com/Studio-Banana-Things-Original-Authentic/dp/B00B4S6SLW

WHO IN THE F–K WOULD BUY THIS?! LOOOL. I can’t even look at this without bursting out laughing.

This review (not mine) was win:

This review is from: Studio Banana Things The Original Authentic Ostrich Pillow (Toy) I was so sick of women in my life. They would want to date me, kiss me, and do fun things with me, such as go to museums, movies and make wild, passionate love. But I am a man of action. I don’t have time to fend off the hordes of lusty women who ache to be in my company and steal the savory life syrup of my loins! Back, vile sirens! FINALLY there’s a product that fixes all of that. Put this thing on and you can walk fearlessly through a sex-starved tribe of Amazonian beauties with no fear. This even works better than my Janet Reno mask because there are still some Janet Reno fetishists out there. Absolutely no one, and I do mean no human being on this blue ball hurtling through space and time, will ever think of you in a sexual way while you wear this thing. Also, assuming they have a functioning memory, they will never think of you that way ever again. I mean like EVER! It’s the ultimate kryptonite to their libido, and like a really bad fart the effect will linger far longer than the crime itself. Talking decades, maybe more.

Wait, Skymall is owned by Xhibit?

I heard instances of people ordering things from skymall, never getting billed for the products and never receiving anything. This led me to believe that the products didn’t actually exist and they were just trolling us.

Yo dawg, I thought you’d like to buy some toy planes when you’re inside a plane.

I didn’t know that but given the product selection I just always assumed they were trolling us anyway. Like “Hey guys, guess what? I just bought a 6’ giant yeti statue for my backyard for $2,000 because that is a thing that people do…”

I didn’t think anyone ever bought anything and they simply survived on ad revenue. I guess the explosion of portable electronic devices has stopped people from flipping through the cataloge (I didn’t on my last flight) and they can’t get the advertisers anymore.

what the hell am i going to read in first class now

Geez, now I’ll have to update about 1/4 of my comedic material. :-/

I figured it would just be a matter of time before Skymall went the way of the dinosaurs once Amazon.com also entered the horse mask market.

http://www.amazon.com/Accoutrements-12027-Horse-Head-Mask/dp/B003G4IM4S

I need to get one of those horseheads before Amazon goes bankrupt.

I thought in 1st class one flight attendant read Chaucer to you while another one blew you, no?

That just gave me a tingle.