Not mine obviously. I’m bridesmaid. And I’m actually not close to the bride… or groom. No drama/trauma there.
It’s a nightmare. I lived in a 99.9999% white neighbourhood, so her other bridesmaids are also white. I feel like I stand out so much. Token asian. And most of all, her bridal shower is in July 4. As in, middle of three day weekend. Do you know how many 3 day weekends we get? At least in summer? Do you know how much I look forward to boozy campfires and barbeques after looking outside longingly from March-first saturday of June?
Also, in Japan most people will pay for your transportation and lodging to a wedding (bride/groom will pay I mean). Not here right? Also I don’t get gift registries. it seems so tacky to ask people to buy you things. It’s one thing if you’re poor and single and a teenager and you’re having a baby. It’s another if you make a conscious decision to get married and you’re both working. Right? We usually just give money. Maybe that’s tacky too I don’t know. But no one actually asks for money. Gift registries is actively asking.
Ugh. Anyway is it wrong to back out now. I’m really hoping for a “big work assignment” to come up in the summer. I feel bad, and no I’m not jealous, it’s just, hello, your “biggest day of your life” is just another day for me. Why can’t brides realize this. What do I do. The weekly updates and texts is driving me crazy. I haven’t booked a room much less crawl out of work/study routine to find a date. Is 2 months too short to find a date that isn’t emotionally unavailable/gay/drug addict. You’re all mostly married. Please advise.
Do you want to get out of it or do you just want to vent?
If you want to get out of it, invent some excuse. Also, buy her a nice gift from the registry. She or her wedding planner has two months to find anothr bridesmaid, not too stressful for her considering everything.
If you are just venting, yes this country has some customs different from your and my countries of origin. I too think that gifts should be spontaneous/thoughtful and if the giver can’t think of something really good, money is acceptable, especially at weddings. But that’s not how it works in US. White people have to make everything practical and soulless, including gift giving. So registry. Date: why not gay?
All in all, if she has an open bar, getting lots of free food and booze and attention from all the single men once they realize your date is fabulous, is not the worst way to spend your 4th of July weekend. Stop being a Trauma Queen
Based upon some of your self-centered comments, I think you’re a horrible person. No kidding! This is “her day” – the one she has been dreaming of since she was a little girl, and here you are complaining about the date of her bridal shower, the fact that she isn’t picking up your expenses, and somehow has the audacity to create a registry for wedding gifts. Are you nuts?
How 'bout you grow a pair for one day, take one for the team (watch Band of Brothers in case you need some inspiration), and pray that someone *just like you* isn’t part of your own bridal party should you ever get married.
Know your audience Emi. I don’t think we can relate.
The only solace I can offer: As a single lady in the wedding party, you’re guaranteed to hook up with someone. So you have that going for you, which is nice.
Don’t bother with a date. You’ll be doing a lot of wedding party only crap and he’ll feel weird hanging out alone with a bunch of people he doesn’t know. Not bringing a date will also save your friend’s parents the cost of a dinner.
In connection with don’t bother with a date, as a single bridesmaid, you are guaranteed to hook up if you’re semi-decent looking. The fact that you will be the only Asian will just increase your appeal.
I have to agree that doing the shower on a holiday weekend is kind of a dick move on the bride’s part, but suck it up.
Yah, def go single and you’ll have a blast. I’ve been to too many weddings now but the one time i went single - happened to be best man at that wedding - i ending up hitting it off it up with one of the bridesmaids.
as the only asian girl i think you’ll kill it with the one of the jew men.
I love weddings. I would not take a date. Cash is fine. Guaranteed hookup if you are single (it is perfectly acceptable to end up in somebody’s room at a wedding). Great excuse to travel…I don’t get why this is such a nightmare?
