Preface
I just want to let the Canadian members of AF know how lucky they are to be able to purchase these crispy treats as they so desire. I have been on a quest to find these chips in NYC since I read in mid February they would be introduced in the states. (1)
I have traveled far and wide on the Isle of Man(nhatten) and as far as the depths of Queens looking to eat them. Sadly thus far I have been met with defeat. Lets backtrack a bit, several years ago I worked with several Canadians who introduced me to these chips and it was love at first bite. They also had me try ketchup chips but they were not nearly as good. I cursed at the Lays brand for not making these chips available for sale in the US.
Chapter 1: A break in the case
On a chilly day in mid February 2016 I searched the internet to see if I could purchase these chips online for a reasonable price. The previous times I only saw scoundrels selling them for huge markups, around 30 dollars, on Amazon. To my surprise I was met with several articles coming out in recent days showing that Lays had in fact caved to my demands and would be releasing All Dressed chips in America! Now it was only a matter of time before I would be able to crunch into one again.
Chapter 2: Boundless energy dwindles
Right out of the gate I knew it would be a challenge to find these chips in NYC. I went to a few local stores over the next week or so and unshockingly I did not see them. I knew I would have to step up my efforts so I cut out all non essential activities from my life in order to save time, energy, and cunning to get these chips. These activities included work, sex, working out, studying for the CFA, and watching Hulu (aside from Seinfeld)
Chapter 3: End of the road
I realized to achieve my goal after several failures, I would need to bring in reinforcements. I did the only thing a main in a situation as desperate as that could have done- I emailed the Lays brand.
A wonderful woman who went by the name of Tina, a customer service rep at Lays, responded to my query a few days later alerting me to the fac that their website had a chip finder. It would let you know the closest stores to you that had a certain type of chip. She said goodbye with a grim warning, “We recommend calling the store before making the trip to make sure the snack is currently in stock”
Chapter 4: The path less travelled
After compliling a list of no fewer than 20 stores across the 4 real boroughs of New York, I decided it was time to hit the pavement and meet my destiny. I was met with hardships along the way that no man should be forced to endure, subway delays, sick passengers, and fighting straphangers were the least of my worries as I had a hunger only Canada’s number 1 snack could sate.
After all my travels and at store after store it turned out that the chipfinder was completely unreliable and a real POS. At this point I had virtually given up on ever eating these wonderful chips again.
Chapter 5: A glorious reunion
At an after work happy hour with some old coworkers I was talking about the good old times when the one would go to Canada for the holidays and return with bags of Ruffles All Dressed chips. To my surprise the Canadian amongst us brought out his bag, unziped the pouch and pulled out a family size bag of them. A good time was had by all and I was thrilled to be able to eat these chips again, but a part of me knew I had unfinished business with the Lays brand in America.
Chapter 6: The search continues
To this day I have still never been able to locate a bag at a store near me. I have heard from friends in the terrible land of New Jersey that they were found at a small store, but who knows at this point if that is real or a myth. The whole point of this story is this. If you are in NYC and you come upon a bag of these chips, please post it on AF so I can immediately stop what I am doing and go get them.
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