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how to face my senior analyst at work

hey guys need your help
I work in a small ER shop, last night after drowning myself in L3 swaps material went to the local pub to chill out there i bumped into my senior research analyst who was with her friends….we then few drinks and then lost control of ourselves now i dont know how will we react at work….i have recently joined the firm after struggling for a long time to get a job I cant lose this one….

please need your advise guys..

thanks in advance

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don’t worry bro. It’s quiet frequent that such things happen and then you get back to the routine of life.

Traders need to vent out, and so do Analyst …..

Stereos Club, NYC
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teBNlg6hCHw

Cain, NYC
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0TGpe2KMUs&NR=1

ye but you know i m still learning and i gottta learn frm her…. so bit confused

equity_research_nds Wrote:
——————————————————-
> hey guys need your help
> I work in a small ER shop, last night after
> drowning myself in L3 swaps material went to the
> local pub to chill out there i bumped into my
> senior research analyst who was with her
> friends….we then few drinks and then lost
> control of ourselves now i dont know how will we
> react at work….i have recently joined the firm
> after struggling for a long time to get a job I
> cant lose this one….
>
> please need your advise guys..
>
> thanks in advance

I don’t get it, you said you “lost control”…did you bang her or did the both of you just get wasted? As long as you weren’t blackout drunk and she was pretty sober I wouldn’t worry about. There’s nothing wrong with having a few drinks but it can get you in trouble if you take it too far. I’m not really sure what you’re stressing about…next time keep it to 1-2 drinks and leave. Just act normal and don’t bring it up, speak to her as usual course…only say something about it if she says something about it. And if anyone should feel awkward it’s her, after-all she is above you, and I don’t think she will.

it was the former plus the fact that i knew wat i was doing could land me in deep trouble ….i should have thought about my job ….man i m in **** trouble i guess

dinesh.sundrani Wrote:
——————————————————-
> don’t worry bro. It’s quiet frequent that such
> things happen and then you get back to the routine
> of life.
>
> Traders need to vent out, and so do Analyst …..
>
>
> Stereos Club, NYC
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teBNlg6hCHw
>
> Cain, NYC
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0TGpe2KMUs&NR=1

And denish, those guys apparently got in big trouble. At least the Asian fellow, from what I read he’s a compulsive liar, worked in ops (at Merrill I believe), and got fired b/c of this. A few days after this was posted, he deleted his myspace acct b/c he was being harassed.

> And denish, those guys apparently got in big
> trouble. At least the Asian fellow, from what I
> read he’s a compulsive liar, worked in ops (at
> Merrill I believe), and got fired b/c of this. A
> few days after this was posted, he deleted his
> myspace acct b/c he was being harassed

Hilarious.

I wonder if they are studying for the CFA exams right now…haha.

equity_research_nds Wrote:
——————————————————-
> it was the former….i should have thought about
> my job ….man i m in **** trouble i guess

Dude you’re fine…of course it’s normal to feel worried but you’re fine. If you were in the Senior position then yeah I’d be worried, but she’s probably done things like this before. And like I said just TRY to act the same, keep the talk at work about business, DON’T tell ANYONE at work, and don’t PLAN for this to happen again.

The only thing I might eventually be worried about is if she wanted to do this again and was straight forward about it. I wouldn’t know wether to say yes or no. In fear that if I say “yes”, this could snowball into a huge routine and she’ll always have some dirt on me (but not really b/c it’s dirt on herself since she’s in the senior position). Also in fear that if I say “no”, she will make things awkward and will not want to help me or see my succeed in the future. What’s the age difference in the situation?

TPain88 Wrote:
——————————————————-
> equity_research_nds Wrote:
> ————————————————–
> —–
> > it was the former….i should have thought
> about
> > my job ….man i m in **** trouble i guess
>
>
> Dude you’re fine…of course it’s normal to feel
> worried but you’re fine. If you were in the Senior
> position then yeah I’d be worried, but she’s
> probably done things like this before. And like I
> said just TRY to act the same, keep the talk at
> work about business, DON’T tell ANYONE at work,
> and don’t PLAN for this to happen again.
>
> “The only thing I might eventually be worried about
> is if she wanted to do this again and was straight
> forward about it. I wouldn’t know wether to say
> yes or no. In fear that if I say “yes”, this could
> snowball into a huge routine and she’ll always
> have some dirt on me (but not really b/c it’s dirt
> on herself since she’s in the senior position).
> Also in fear that if I say “no”, she will make
> things awkward and will not want to help me or see
> my succeed in the future. What’s the age
> difference in the situation?”

dude are u scaring me with the suggestion….

age is maybe she would be in her teen thirties and me i m 25

Her teen thirties? Nothing like those teenage years of your thirties.

Dude I’ll tell you exactly what to do…so listen up. Go up to her first thing Monday and talk with her. Just say “so did you have a good weekend?” Mention something interesting you did. If you didn’t do anything interesting make something up. Don’t mention what happened just act cool like nothing happened. Leave it up to her if she wants to mention anything such as “we should go to lunch.”

If she doesn’t say anything then just start talking about work and then say you got to get back to it. You will probably be a little nervous Monday but you must go up to her immediately to defuse the situation.

I had a similiar issue with a girl a few months back but she worked on another floor so I only saw her like every two weeks. We saw each other from a distance once after the fact and I didn’t take the chance to talk to her. Then every time a would walk into work I’d worry about bumping into her. But recently I was able to talk with her…we pretended nothing happened and now its not ackward at all.. Good luck!

Honestly, you and your boss both deserve to lose your jobs over this. How unprofessional is it to go out and get drunk and then have sex with your boss or, even worse, your subordinate? You both should lose your jobs over this. Given the incredible difficulty it is to break into this industry, your actions speak to your complete selfishness and inability to contexualize your actions. I would never do business with a firm that was conducting itself in such a way.

Hokies

did u bang her? if not i wouldnt worry about it

congrats. you have a free ticket to grab her a$$ anytime you please

kkent Wrote:
——————————————————-
> Honestly, you and your boss both deserve to lose
> your jobs over this. How unprofessional is it to
> go out and get drunk and then have sex with your
> boss or, even worse, your subordinate? You both
> should lose your jobs over this. Given the
> incredible difficulty it is to break into this
> industry, your actions speak to your complete
> selfishness and inability to contexualize your
> actions. I would never do business with a firm
> that was conducting itself in such a way.

come on. you know what most blokes think with….If I was single and she was hot then i would definitely do the same after a few beers.

i separate work from ‘real work’ so it’s fine..

What you should do is not write about it on a public forum that she could be a member of on the World Wide farking Web…

I don’t know about most “blokes,” but I do know that this kind of garbage is entirely unacceptable for the overwhelming number of people in the United States. My firm has a zero tolerance policy about any kind of dating relationships with anyone at the firm.

Hokies

Kkent,

Do you have any idea how many people end up marrying some one they met at work?

The only one at fault here is the boss. period. And its not a huge deal as long as it does not affect work at all. Definitely talk to her as soon as possible and dont bring it up. Then in like a month tell her you’re taking some girl you met on a date so that she does not expect it to happen again.

RealWarrior, geesh, I didn’t know most people met their spouse out work by having sex with their boss. Talk about comparing apples to poison apples.

Hokies

kkent Wrote:
——————————————————-
> Honestly, you and your boss both deserve to lose
> your jobs over this.

> I would never do business with a firm that was conducting itself in such a way.

Fraternization between consenting adults is not a firable offense. There will be some awkward moments at first, but things will return to normal. This really isn’t a big deal.

I hate to break it to you, but employees hook up at all companies. You’ll be in the unemployment line if you can’t this situation.

joemontana, I hate to break this to you, but you don’t know employment law. In America, there is this thing called employment at will. You can be fired for ANY reason that is not discriminatory (like race, gender, religion, etc.).

I don’t understand how having sex with a subordinate is considered ok?!! That’s beyond my ability to comprehend that you all compare this to “two consenting adults.” That’s bull sh*t. Suff like this is perfect for making an employer culpable for sexual harrassment suits and for public humiliation of the firm.

Hokies

What’s the big deal. It’s not ideal but life goes on…this sort of crap happens all the time. It’s not like they planned this out and flirted at work (that would be inappropriate)

As far as I am concerned, what happens off of company property off of company time is none of the company’s business unless it involved something which would bring harm to the company (ie discussing secrets, or this causing undue friction at work).

Bring it down a notch kkent, your going unneccesarily bezerk over this and probably not helping the gentlemen’s already nervous situation

Ya this is no big deal, I wouldn’t be worried and I am paranoid about most things.

kkent, calm down man. Not everyone subscribes to your belief system.

The main thing is to make sure nobody knows about it. Nobody. If you can manage that you will be fine. I know you probably will want to brag about it to someone at some point. Don’t.

What if you knocked her up? It’d be some sort of prohibited financial love child. I think Ayn Rynd wrote a song about that.

CFA_Halifax Wrote:
——————————————————-
> What’s the big deal. It’s not ideal but life goes
> on…this sort of crap happens all the time. It’s
> not like they planned this out and flirted at work
> (that would be inappropriate)
>
> As far as I am concerned, what happens off of
> company property off of company time is none of
> the company’s business unless it involved
> something which would bring harm to the company
> (ie discussing secrets, or this causing undue
> friction at work).
>
> Bring it down a notch kkent, your going
> unneccesarily bezerk over this and probably not
> helping the gentlemen’s already nervous situation

How can you reason that an action is only wrong if it brings harm to the company? It’s the actions, not the consequences, that should justify whether or not something is wrong.

jalmy8 Wrote:
——————————————————-
> CFA_Halifax Wrote:
> ————————————————–
> —–
> > What’s the big deal. It’s not ideal but life
> goes
> > on…this sort of crap happens all the time.
> It’s
> > not like they planned this out and flirted at
> work
> > (that would be inappropriate)
> >
> > As far as I am concerned, what happens off of
> > company property off of company time is none of
> > the company’s business unless it involved
> > something which would bring harm to the company
> > (ie discussing secrets, or this causing undue
> > friction at work).
> >
> > Bring it down a notch kkent, your going
> > unneccesarily bezerk over this and probably not
> > helping the gentlemen’s already nervous
> situation
>
>
> How can you reason that an action is only wrong if
> it brings harm to the company? It’s the actions,
> not the consequences, that should justify whether
> or not something is wrong.

I am not saying it’s “right” per se, that is a moral question and I’m certainly not getting into that. But I don’t think anything has happened which would bring harm to the company (yet, if it continued than yes) and hence is none of their business and they shouldn’t be “fired” as some of our moral absolutionists on here would believe.

I can’t believe that this very poorly written piece of flame bait attracted this many responses.

hey equity_research_nds,
just wanted to let you know you are my hero (pending that she is hot).

FIAnalyst Wrote:
——————————————————-
> I can’t believe that this very poorly written
> piece of flame bait attracted this many responses.

Seriously. I love how self-delusional KKent is when he says “I’ll never do business with any company that did that.” Isn’t Kent a BOM?

As far as your “at-will” comment sure a company can fire for any offense. But you can also sue for wrongfull termination if you’re fired because you engaged in a personal relationship. I know as it happened at my last company….which was at-will.

The big problem is that she’s a woman and you’re a guy. If this got out, she just could make up lies about you sexually harassing her and they will believe her. It’s just really a fact.

So she’s got you by the balls and you better do exactly as she says.