dilemma: its a work-person’s last day and they want people to go out for drinks with them after work. you don’t like this person and are taking their leaving as a blessing. do you: A. show up and fake care B. be real and don’t go C. only go if people you actually like will be there D. go because you really care, you like everyone outside of work
Some combination of A & C
A. It’s only a couple of drinks and not going might put-off a couple of people who might matter at some point later in life.
mar350 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > do you: > A. show up and fake care > B. be real and don’t go > C. only go if people you actually like will be > there > D. go because you really care, you like everyone > outside of work A), but with a caveat. Go for a single drink - ideally, buy yourself and them one - and be magnanimous. Smile genuinely and tell them their new gig sounds great, you wish them the best of luck, etc. Then get outta there before your real feelings/alcohol overwhelm your good manners. Reasoning: Anyone can be polite and gracious for 20-30 minutes. You never, ever, ever, ever know when you will need to call upon this person again for a recommendation, favor, information, introduction to someone else, etc. Even if you didn’t get along with them much, for some reason people always remember their last interaction with you the most strongly. Make it a good one. Furthermore, EVEN IF YOU DON’T need this person’s help in the future, your colleagues/superiors/subordinates will see that you’re being polite to someone you didn’t exactly love. It’s a nice gesture.
yeah, i’m going to do the ‘A’ for the reasons that you guys mentioned. i don’t get this guy, but other people like him. it will put me in a better light with the firm and others.
Treat it as a good riddance celebration. That way, you don’t have to pretend.
Try to fvck his girlfriend.
Treat others as you would have others treat you. If it were me, I would go unless there is a very pressing reason calling me away (major deal, baby being born, etc.). You don’t have to stay for long. Just be there, say goodbye and good luck, and try to be as genuine as you can about it. You never know what the future holds, and don’t burn any bridges. Five years down the pike, maybe you’ll need to call them up for some info or a favor, or they might work for someone you want to get to know. There have been times in the past where I have disliked someone and dismissed them at key moments and offended them unnecessarily, and there have been several later moments (not with everyone, but with enough to decide this is a bad policy), where I had wished I had parted on better terms. On the other hand, I really can’t think of a time where I truly regretted being gracious.
Agree with bchad, although slightly different delivery. Make people like you, then you have no enemies and your enemies don’t know that you are their enemies. Wow, I just said enemies a lot…need a vaca perhaps.
A few years ago a guy and I hated each other because of a heated discussion over the phone. Almost a year after the incident he sent a massive invitation to his good-bye party. My first thought was, “What? Of course I’m not going, F him. Besides I’m only invited because he’s too lazy and invited everyone in a mailing list”. Later that night I just decided to go because it was only a few blocks away. It turns out that he was very friendly and weeks later he openly pushed and made a case at his firm to hire me. I didn’t switch jobs, but go figure.
it could be worse, you could have diarrhea dillema
supersadface Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > mar350 Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > do you: > > A. show up and fake care > > B. be real and don’t go > > C. only go if people you actually like will be > > there > > D. go because you really care, you like > everyone > > outside of work > > A), but with a caveat. Go for a single drink - > ideally, buy yourself and them one - and be > magnanimous. Smile genuinely and tell them their > new gig sounds great, you wish them the best of > luck, etc. Then get outta there before your real > feelings/alcohol overwhelm your good manners. > > Reasoning: Anyone can be polite and gracious for > 20-30 minutes. You never, ever, ever, ever know > when you will need to call upon this person again > for a recommendation, favor, information, > introduction to someone else, etc. Even if you > didn’t get along with them much, for some reason > people always remember their last interaction with > you the most strongly. Make it a good one. > Furthermore, EVEN IF YOU DON’T need this person’s > help in the future, your > colleagues/superiors/subordinates will see that > you’re being polite to someone you didn’t exactly > love. It’s a nice gesture. This.
Ah for feck sake, just go to the damn party, and forget the fact that you hate him, I mean your a grown man, and unless he has physically attacked you in some way, and you never know it might be a cracker, and at the end of the day the guy is just trying to make his way through life, just like you, so just wish him the best of luck, infact give him a kiss for me
ColdDarkMatter Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Try to fvck his girlfriend. not worth it - trust me i went, shook his (?) hand and stayed for a little. chatted with a few people and left. i’m pretty sure a few people there felt it was forced.
mar350 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > ColdDarkMatter Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > Try to fvck his girlfriend. > > not worth it - trust me > > > i went, shook his (?) hand and stayed for a > little. chatted with a few people and left. i’m > pretty sure a few people there felt it was forced. You did the right thing by going. Even if a few people sensed that you were forcing it, at least they know you made an effort. Work on your acting skills though 