What not to do when reaching out for networking

I don’t know if ppl are getting lazy or stupid these days, but I’ve been getting more requests to meet for coffee/dessert with big issues. In the past 6 months, I got requests like these

  1. emails with glaring spelling errors

  2. a clearly copy/pasted generic message (you couldn’t take 30 seconds to look up my linkedin and tailor 2 sentences in your email?). Added bonus stupidity, when “Dear Mr.X” font is clearly different from the font in the body. Added auto-blacklist when you get the name of my firm wrong.

  3. ppl who think their time is more valuable than mine saying something like “I can do a 15min call on Tuesday at 3:30pm”. Wow really?

  4. emailling every few days for an update if there’s an opening.

  5. I agreed to meet for an after-work drink from someone who requested a chat (she had interviewed earlier for an opening on my team). When the waiter came with bill, she looked at bill, then just stared at me, then the bill, then at me, then the bill… Do I ask my bosses out to chat and assume they will pay for it? jeez

Yo Itera, grab a coffee first thing before logging onto AF.

  1. No excuse.

  2. Generic messages are not in themselves offensive. Mislabeling the firm is. Font changes is pushing the stupid envelope.

  3. This in itself isn’t bad. Everyone allocates their time well and they are trying to find a time that works for the two of you. I know you were born into a rich wealthy family with a mother at GS and a father at KKR with a last name like Wrigley, Buffett, or Soros and didn’t need to gravel hard to get where you are today; but many of us do. It’s reasonable to think this person is keeping busy using their time efficiently. Would you rather have some bum say, “Yeah, anytime man, I have nothing going on for the whole week.”

  4. Annoying, but persistant. I hope they are at least civil and professional versus badgering.

  5. Is that the girl who showed up late the first time for an interview, you still called her back to interview again, and she showed up late the second time!? If so, then it’s clear you’re trying to nail her so you gotta pay to play.

And be a BSD man! I can’t tell you how many times I went on a date that went sour and told the waiter like a boss, “Yeah, we need two checks.” and just watch the female seething across the table.

I disagree with #3, if the candidate wants me to donate my time, they accomodate me. I do not accomodate them. doesn’t matter if they are working or unemployed.

and #5 I let her look all she wanted. At the end, she picked up the tab. but it was so awkward, the damage was already sunk in.

If I am contacting someone for coffee, I generally suggest a few times and specify that it’s at their convenience. Otherwise, it;s a burden on the other person to coordinate a time and a place. Make it easy the first time. One email each and done.

good man

But is that the girl who showed up late to the interview, twice? Then you still agree to meet her for a drink?

No, it wasn’t her.

Itera - I’d buy you a coffee-spiked-drink any day of the week just to see how your avatar relates to the resemblance of your personality.

True offer, assuming you like coffee.

spike not needed if that suits!

If you go on an actual interview but meet at a restaurant, should the interviewer pay?

100% yes. Not even a doubt. If they don’t, then my god don’t work there.

definitely.

Is this the texting-generation millennial fools entering the work place? I keep wondering how these people will ever have jobs given they can not construct a proper sentence.

I’ve been on informational interviews in both capacities. When I was the one requesting the interview, I was always prepared to pay for everything, but more often than not, the other party insisted on paying for everything, and in the remainder of cases, they insisted on paying for their own part.

I accepted a coffee chat from some nyu dude tomorrow. We’ll see how it goes.

^no homo?

Well it’s NYU so you never know. I’m pretty relaxed when it comes to networking, primarily because I’m shocked anyone gives a fugg of what I have to share. I’m no bgachad ya know.

^ Really? I think you are at least top 3 here in terms of good advice and humour. This will always be my favourite AF post of all time.

hei.so angling for a coffee chat it seems…

not sure how I missed that quote though, had a nice morning chuckle there.

Thanks y’all, I know it was beta of me, but I did pay for coffee and a bagle; even the extra for flavored cream cheese. Some of us are not all alpha like above posters giving the commanding cold staredown.

Dude was legit and left our meeting with what appeared to be a newfound sense to conquer finance. I wished him well and reminded him to keep in touch with little po folks like me when he’s making it rain on the buyside.