Here is the story: I work in a major market in a large office. There is a high performing coworker who approaches others for sexual favors whenever alcohol is involved (never towards me, but then again I avoid mixing alcohol with this person). Since I know, it makes it difficult to work with this individual. I have to work many hours with this person. In addition to the sexual advances towards others, he/she continuously ask to go out with me for drinks and for me to invite my friends, which is weird! Furthermore, this person is very arrogant and consistently say things in a team setting that puts me on the defense. In other words, I always have to watch my back. Anyhow, the people whom the advances were made towards would not go to HR, but they do not have to work long hours w/ this individual, just me. In an off moment, I expressed my frustration to someone in a different department about my difficulty coping. As a result, different department person went to the partner on the project on my behalf, who went to HR (which I was not anticipating or hoping). I wanted to finish the project and move on. HR then contacted me, and put me in a difficult position where, in a way, I am forced to cooperate. I was worried that gossip will spread and my reputation might get compromised for being a whistleblower. But I cooperated anyway, for fear that if I do not, things might be even more difficult. From my knowledge, only HR, individual in different department, and partner knows about me. Weeks has gone by, and I received a bad review on the project I worked on with this individual (same project where the partner went to HR). This individual is not my superior. I did not believe I did a bad job. Rumor has it that the partner pushed the managers to give me a review. It is not usual for reviews to get pushed during this time of year. I do not know what to make of this. Did I really do a bad job, or does it sound like there are other politics in play? Please help.
Ok, I’m going to try to squeak in a few points before this thread blows up. 1) Never place yourself in a position where you are aligned against a “high performance coworker” unless you know you are percieced as even higher performance. Surest way to get burned. 2) Never get involved in other people’s politics (advances were not made on you) 3) Never involve others in your politics (people from other departments who are not involved). This looks VERY bad. 4) Always be an adult and go to someone with your problems directly instead of running around to every one else. You never had the balls to address this coworker in person but you did run around their back to other departments and even HR (indirectly). 5) Never bring what happens at the bar back to the office… ever. If you don’t like it, stay out of the bar and keep your nose in your own business. 6) You weren’t there so you’re working off second hand accounts. Never work off second hand accounts. 7) Never violate the above rules, never be a drama queen by making events that don’t effect you your business.
I understand, and that’s what I tried to do. But to clarify some assumptions, the person never asked me for sexual favors, but advances were made towards me (i.e. continuously hitting on me while at work). I told this person that this behavior is inappropriate, but for whatever reason the advances never stopped; hence the hostile work environment. Maybe the person thought I was joking. And I was at the bar, I was just designated driver, so it wasn’t second hand accounts. I do not mix alcohol with work.
Well, since the proverbial pooch has been screwed, my advice would be to let it drop, stop talking about it and work twice as hard at everything you do. If any more issues come up attempt to work them out directly between you and the coworker.
In the future, remember there’s safety in numbers. Never go forward regarding an issue alone.
Hey OP. No one here can make a good assessment of your situation based on your testimonial alone. Maybe you did do a good job but were a victim of politics. Or maybe you actually did a bad job. But that’s besides the point. The point is that any responses here will just be wild speculation. Plus, it doesn’t seem like you can do anything to fix your review. My advice is that you should just try to put this situation behind you.
It’s clear your a chick, and also clear why he asked for your friends to go out. This is why women shouldnt work in finance. No offense meant.
jcole21 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > It’s clear your a chick, and also clear why he > asked for your friends to go out. This is why > women shouldnt work in finance. No offense meant. HUH?
Black Swan Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Ok, I’m going to try to squeak in a few points > before this thread blows up. > > 1) Never place yourself in a position where you > are aligned against a “high performance coworker” > unless you know you are percieced as even higher > performance. Surest way to get burned. > > 2) Never get involved in other people’s politics > (advances were not made on you) > > 3) Never involve others in your politics (people > from other departments who are not involved). > This looks VERY bad. > > 4) Always be an adult and go to someone with your > problems directly instead of running around to > every one else. You never had the balls to > address this coworker in person but you did run > around their back to other departments and even HR > (indirectly). > > 5) Never bring what happens at the bar back to the > office… ever. If you don’t like it, stay out of > the bar and keep your nose in your own business. > > 6) You weren’t there so you’re working off second > hand accounts. Never work off second hand > accounts. > > 7) Never violate the above rules, never be a drama > queen by making events that don’t effect you your > business. Agreed.
Wow, jcole21. This might sounds crazy but… welcome to 2011. It’s not 1950 anymore and stop watching Mad Men.
Hey CaffeineAddict…if its any consolation i had a far worst experience than urs…and seriously my company had strict policies regarding sexual harassment, i reported the situation to my manager and he was friends with this guy(also a high performing worker)… so it didnt help much and in the end… no one helped me but myself and i had to suck it up
“there you go again caffeine addict giving a phuck when its not your turn to give a phuck” black swan pretty much summed up everything perfectly…i say you’re naive ( which i doubt) or u set these events in motion hoping to come out on top only to get burnt…
So… the result of your sexual harassment was that you had to “suck it up”?
Jcole, you’re better than that dog.
bay.street Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > jcole21 Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > It’s clear your a chick, and also clear why he > > asked for your friends to go out. This is why > > women shouldnt work in finance. No offense > meant. > > > HUH? jcole21 ur a ******* **** …no offence meant
Transfer to another department or head to another firm if you are not happy.
Black and yellow black and yellow
y’all know what it issss…!
I guess I came off harsh. I had a buddy who had a sexual harassment complaint by some chick who was on her way out for poor performance. He ended up leaving the company a year or so later. It also bothered me that she tried to be gender ambiguous, when it was clear what genders were involved. The last comment wad hoping to bring shefa out of the woodwork to get this thing to 10 pages. NO MEANS NO.
ohai Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > So… the result of your sexual harassment was > that you had to “suck it up”? yes. but i left that job eventually and this was one of the reasons. u expected i was going to tell u a fairy tale…evrything got worked out in the end? institutions that dont have solid policies or weak implementation for these kind of issues are mainly to blame…