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"Books Women Read When No One Can See the Cover"

So apparently, all those nice girls on the train with Kindles are reading erotic novels? Who knew? Daily commute will never be the same.

“The aliens on Mars cloned Hillary Clinton.” - Turd Furgeson

If you’ve ever written an erotic story to a woman and seen the response… well, it’s not so surprising after all.  ;-)

You want a quote?  Haven’t I written enough already???

does Buffet’s annual letter count as erotic?

I knew it! Next time I see a chick reading I’ll pay attention to see if she has one hand hidden under a coat or something.

Those books are porn for women. You have the sexy bad boy with a motorcycle who uses push pull psychology on the heroine of the story to make her lust after him. I read a couple of those books one time as an experiment (no homo), and while they were horrible to read, I definitely learned a lot.

^ Clever

i rather stick to the porn i watch……..i learn way more…..

sounds like bchad has a story for us….

Apparently, this “Fifty Shades of Grey” series is the new trendy thing for moms to read. It seems pretty kinky. 

“In the first novel, the kinky anti-hero, billionaire Christian Grey, turns his good girl paramour Anastasia Steele into a submissive sex slave.”

So… that random middle aged woman you talked to was fantasizing about bondage the whole time? Uuuuuhhh….

“The aliens on Mars cloned Hillary Clinton.” - Turd Furgeson

The other **** that chicks read is gossip.  You’d be amazed.  I know tons of super intelligent chicks, even those with CFA charters that when nobody is watching spend all their free time reading gossip magazines and reading Perez Hilton.

No Homo

Gossip is a kind of currency among women.  In order to get some good gossip, you gotta give some.

Just as women can’t figure out why guys spend so much time talking about sports, we can’t figure out why they spend so much time talking about what’s up with Brad and Angelina, and how Jennifer’s dealing with it.

You want a quote?  Haven’t I written enough already???

Maybe Frankie should include a section for these stories in his HCB website, just $0.99 each. He could sell them to both the horny commuting chicks and guys looking for useful tips. For example, I was overly aggressive with an ex-girlfriend, telling her that the next morning she would need to explain at her job why she was walking funny after an all-nighter pounding. In retrospective, I could have used some tact.

Things like “Shades of Grey” are attractive because they are both taboo and safe.  If you don’t like it, you can just shut off the kindle.  But the fact that you can do that makes it safe enough to be even more attractive.

I used to wonder why it is that in my fantasies, it’s so awesome to have a woman come up to me and be really aggressive about getting things on, but when it happens in reality, I’m often turned off.  

Then a good friend pointed out that, in the fantasy, you’re in control of the action.  She knows exactly what you want and how you want it, because your mind is the director (and you’ve chosen someone that you find attractive).  When it happens in real life, she’s not doing it right, maybe she’s inebriated, you’re faced with the imperfections of a real person, you’re wondering if there are ulterior motives, etc.

For erotica readers, the writing is attractive in the same way.  Their mind fills in the blanks with whatever they want.  When you write erotica, what you leave out is actually as important as what you put in, because they’ll color it better for themselves.  They can imagine whatever most gratifies them without having to wonder if position X is going to get tiring after 5 minutes, if the rope cuts into their skin uncomfortably, etc..

You want a quote?  Haven’t I written enough already???

Uuuuhh… I think you know too much about this… 

“The aliens on Mars cloned Hillary Clinton.” - Turd Furgeson

I think bchad, Tikka, and Frank should team up and write stories. I would invest in that venture.

ohai wrote:

Uuuuhh… I think you know too much about this… 

When woman is unhappy, man cannot be happy.  This, is the secret of life.

[Gay and bi men get an exemption.]

You want a quote?  Haven’t I written enough already???