Hei.so brought up a good point and something i was always curious about.
how do you approach the subject of a pre nup? its very delicate and can ruin relationships, whats the best way to go about this?
I could be wrong but I feel like most people are more open to an earnings based split these days than they used to be.
If you ain’t no punk holla we want prenup, we want prenup!
My game plan is to marry a chick that makes more money than me.
Tread lightly. If there is a very significant amount of money at stake, then any rational being would understand the discussion. If no understanding, then don’t marry.
Like KK says, marry up if you can.
My wife and I discussed it, but we both make comparable money. She’s probably in a slightly better financial position, but I make more cash flow. Yeah I’m a little exposed in the long game but its not signficant. The gap isn’t so big that it would be my primary concern if the relationship ended, which I hope it won’t! We just talked about it straight up, didn’t really see any issues raising it or not. If you’re not open enough on financial matters or generally to discuss that kind of thing, you probably aren’t ready to be married yet. Just wait until you get to wills and estates.
Then she’ll be requesting the prenup.
I actually had a chat with a lawyer about this recently, and basically if it’s been over a 3 years and/or serious material changes have taken place (i.e your BSD status just went up by a factor of 5, had a kid etc), your prenup just turned into a fairly expensive bathroom tissue. So yea, either marry up, or you are rolling 50/50 dice…
There really isn’t a need for a pre-nup unless one party is bringing into the marriage a significantly larger amount of money than the other (say the gal has 10 mil and guy has 0). In which case, I think it’s a pretty reasonable for the person with more money to be protected in the event of a divorce and I also think it’s reasonable for the party without money to not expect to get anything that taken into the marriage by the other party.
If both parties have similar assets and job prospects i.e. one isn’t the MLB rookie of the year or the latest JZ’s latest protege, than it’s not needed, probably wouldn’t even protect you in a divorce, and is a pretty bad sign on the confidence someone has in their mariage.
Here’s another question. What’s the threshold level where you need a prenup? 100,000k in Cash? 1,000,000 in Cash? 10,000,000 in Cash?
The amount of money required is inversely related to how many times you’ve been married. Marriage #1? Pretty high threshold. Marriage #3? She’s not getting a single dime.
I suggested to my wife, pre marriage, that we should consider a prenuptial agreement. She thought I was joking (I was not really). Later, she became a lawyer, thus guaranteeing my financial destruction in the event of a divorce. A few weeks ago, I was describing California community property laws to my European friend. He could not understand it - like, he couldn’t even process the logical connection and asked me to explain it multiple times with no success.
Anyway, of the combined assets of my wife and I, about 90% came from my earnings and investments. So, if my wife takes 50%, it would mostly be free money to her. On the other hand, I would probably re marry someone from finance or a similar field, just because these are the sort of people I hang around with nowadays. So, there is still a good chance that the new wife will have at least 50% of my net worth, and thus replenish the amount that I would have lost in the first divorce.
While I currently can’t imagine actually getting married, I’ve found from dating that things tend to work best when the person you’re dating is in a similar financial situation. When I’ve dated outside of my general socioeconomic area, there have been traits that just don’t mesh well. I was hanging out with this girl for a couple of months last summer and she had a english degree from a super hacksaw state school, was thrilled to be working as a receptionist, had never travelled outside of the US (barely outside of Texas in fact). We just had such wildly different views on things it didn’t really go anywhere. Too bad, she was actually pretty cute.
Always good to look on the bright side.
This is a matter that varies (greatly) from state to state. But I know where I live, what you bring to the marriage will be yours if you decide to leave the marriage. What is earned/acquired during the marriage is basically split 50/50. The big concern in divorce is the post-relationship financial arrangement, alimony, child support, etc. But these are not factored into your standard prenup.
I once met a girl that said no-prenup was totally fair and justified, and any girl deserves to take half of all your stuff, because men age like wine and women age like cheese. her logic was: her taking your money is to supplant her no longer being young and attracting males.
^ I’m shocked a woman would actually admit it, but that’s one rational woman.
I’m pretty sure you were dating FT.
^ lol
so how do you go about starting this chat? i feel like most girls will take it personally and get mad
^Tell her that if you DON’T do it, then you’ll lose your interest in the Igor Family Trust, which means you’ll be forgoing $X million dollars. (Of course, once you get your millions, you’ll spend it all on her anyway. Right?)