The 50 shades phenomenon proves the failure of feminism

Water Cooler
#1

There is no denying the resounding success of the 50 shades novels. It’s not only women with daddy issues that are spending their nights reading the books, it’s also well balanced, level headed, mature, professional women that are too (yes they do exist).

I decided to download the movie from the comfort of my own home the other night (some call it stealing but I don’t believe in such an extreme term). So my comments are based solely on the movie even though the books from what I hear makes my comments even more valid.

After decades of feminism pushing women into independence and total control of their lives, women come home from work secretly fantasizing a tough and wealthy alpha man is going to save them and take them to his castle. I think no amount of brainwashing will break that fairy tale. Seducing a successful male still is the most wanted option for the vast majority of women even though very few women will admit to that. The Prince Charming fantasy is a very old one, nothing new. What is funny is that before feminism, the Prince Charming was kind, well mannered and romantic. Basically a good guy with good looks and wealth.

What do we have post feminism? The Prince Charming is serious, tough, domineering. He doesn’t take no for an answer. He doesn’t just save her from the worries of economic survival, he saves her from the freedom and independence everybody told her was so cool. He saves her from the burden of having to think for herself. He takes decisions and sets her in a controlled environment with rules, far from the dangers of the world. She’s back to being a little girl who doesn’t have to face the tough world because she now has a stong and strict Daddy who knows exactly what to do. That’s what the dominant/submissive relationships are from a psychological point of view.

Because of feminism, women have to survive in a tough professional world which I like to call the Lost Generation. The social pressure of being a mom is still overwhelming and that adds to the professional pressure. The result is that after decades of having endless choices and decisions to make, they dream of not having choices to make. They want to be sheltered from the pressure of freedom and decision making.

Even funnier, after decades of redefining genders (exposing males to their feminine side and vice versa), we have heroes who are gender prototypes. The chick is kind, shy, romantic, passionate with a hacksaw English Lit degree, lacks self-confidence. The dude is a tough alpha male with scars, a BSD, a controlling man. Surrounded with sensitive males that strive to please them, women dream of the “bad boy” that intimidates them, takes all the decisions and f!cks them so hard it scares them.

To me, 50 shades proves a lot of women reject feminism. As unrealistic as the story is, it is very thought provoking about gender roles. It shows us how our primal instincts still have a very strong influence on us, no matter what amount of social pressure we undergo.

The market has spoken. The resounding sucess of 50 shades is no coincidence.

#2

I saw a post that was longer than two words and a period and I had to do a double-take to see that former trader was behind it.

But seriously, well-crafted post and tight argument. I have to agree. Perhaps the dream of the feminists is a mirage; perhaps we are more bound by our basic biology than we would care to admit.

#3

I read the first book only, didn’t see the movie. Girl was extremely naive, a 22 year old virgin. I think she was intimidated by his professional success and intrigued by his kinky sex preferences. I don’t think she was trying to let him control her life. For instance she wouldn’t let him provide a reference for the jobs she was applying for and she left him at the end. Edit - I would not recommend the book. Poorly written and shallow. No idea why it’s so popular.

#4

I’m not an expert either, but I don’t think that’s what feminism means.

I don’t believe feminism is about total independence and control of our lives- my take is that women deserve equal respect as males. That means a woman can be independent and be in control of her life, and she has an equal right to settle down and depend on a partner. And it goes same way for males too. It’s just the anti-being told you have to do x or y because you’re a woman.

Twilight was really popular too- what is your take on that? That the mainstream female psyche longs for a domineering obsessive partner rather than a nurture type? (neither read nor saw 50shades, and only read one Twilight so take that with a grain of salt haha)

By the way, I believe there are plenty of anti-feminism women. On both extremes. Those that look down on housewives, and those that look down on wasted ovaries. So, even if 50shades is anti-feminism, the fact that women love the book doesn’t mean failure of feminism imo. Unless success of feminism is defined by %adoption by female population?

And, besides, one plus factor for post-feminism is that now women can admit they want rich, good-looking, and bad boy type. Before, they were constrained by being told their only value is purity, etc etc, but now women can have fun too. :slight_smile:

Again, haven’t read nor seen 50shades… I heard it was poorly written and I don’t have attention span for movies made from poorly written “novels”…

#5

I’m not sure FT knows what modern feminism is, he seems to be trying to refute 60s era feminism. I don’t think feminists would have anything against 50 shades, rather most would applaud the brazen display of uninhibited female sexuality.

#6

#7

This movie has like a 25% reco rating. SELL

I also heard it was 20 min of sex, 40 min of that liberal arts chick biting her lip, with the remainder of the time around crappy rotten acting and storyline.

#8

+1 but good men still prefer purity though just remember.

#9

Former Trader for President…and yes Prophecy speaks the truth…good men still prefer purity. DON’T FORGET IT LADIES (to the two or three on this forum).

#10

I don’t think this book and movie proves that women reject feminism. If you look at Anastasia, she is not trying to be saved from the freedom and independence everybody told her was so cool. She is not looking for a guy to make her choices. I think a big part of the chemistry and attraction between them is based on the fact that she is a witty, independent, free thinking woman. Christian Grey can always get the dumb hot girl that is going to be impressed by his wealth, great pad, helicopter and the fact that he is a BSD. Anastasia rejects all that and that is secretly attractive to Grey.

I think this movie is more about women and more specifically a virgin exploring her sexuality. I think she dislikes that he is a domineering, BSD, control freak but is willing to entertain being a sub because he is phenomenal in bed, very good looking and pleases her sexually. Bottom line, women will do anything for great sex! This not a failure of feminism,

#11

So she NEEDS a man to make her happy?

#12

What the character was looking for is irrelevant. What’s important is how so many women (the readers) found the idea of being controlled by a man erotic. Women didn’t read that book to to understand the lead character’s motivations…

#13

I think there is a distinction with being controlled sexually vs. being controlled in every day life. Women love a man to take charge sexually (that is very hot) but reject being controlled in other ways.

#14

“Controlled” may be a bit strong of a word. In my experience, women prefer to be led by strong men. For example, women expect their dates to plan the evening rather than the other way around. And their willingness to be led by any specific man is highly dependent on his ability to ensure her a comfortable life through his leadership.

#15

Umm well define purity. If purity means #partners

And it’s not “what men prefer” it’s “what women should do to maximize specs of potential partner”. Same for either gender. :slight_smile:

#16

This

#17

Yeah. And I want a unicorn as a pet pet

#18

Or become a mermaid…

#19

Don’t confuse with what you want in a fantasy with what you want in real life.

What’s great about a fantasy, even one where you supposedly have no control over what’s happening to you, is that you ARE in control of your fantasy. You can change it or turn it off at whatever point you want. Your partner may be forceful, but they somehow automatically know exactly how forceful to be, in just the right way, and how not to be forceful in the wrong way, how to do exactly what you want, when you what, without needing to ask you or say anything awkward.

Real life is not like that.

That’s why for us guys, we often fantasize about some girl coming on to us with no ambiguity about her intentions in bed, but why - when it actually happens - it’s not nearly as appealing as it was in our fantasy. The girl in our fantasy was pre-screened to be and look, and do exactly what we want… the girl who’s really in front of us may just be outa control, and that’s not necessarily a good thing.

So the fact that what’s happening in the book may be enjoyable for women to think about doesn’t mean that that’s the way they want their whole life to be.

#20

http://dcdr.me/1CYr8FV

id have to agree