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Industry Terms You Can't Stand

Not industry specific, but definitely “corporate asshattery”- diversity and inclusion.

Management is obsessed with focusing on this.  Perhaps it’s just my white male privilege, or perhaps I’m just lucky to work with good people, but it seems like if we spent less time focusing on diversity and inclusion, and more time on hiring, training and retaining the most competent people we can, we’d never hear another peep about diversity and inclusion.  I don’t care what race or sex or persuasion you are so long as you’re helping row the boat in the correct direction.  I’ve never excluded someone because of race or sex, and I’ve never seen it happen in my 10 years on the industry.  But I’ll be damned if I don’t have to hear about diversity and inclusion at least once a month in a meeting and once a week in an email. Just hire and retain the best employees regardless of who they are or what they look like.  Every other problem magically disappears.  

Black Swan wrote:

Actually, in hindsight the conversation would probably pretty similar for the porn industry:

Low hanging fruit

Choking the goose

Going hard

Circle back

Picking up penis in front of a steam roller

Tailwind and headwind

Deep diving

Start the balls rolling

Dry powder

Juice squeezing references

Get them wet and excited

Touch base

As if they try to overcompensate for something..

thommo77 wrote:

geo wrote:
The 30,000 foot view.
Isn’t it 50,000 feet? LOL.  How high makes it a high level view? Can I say 10,000 feet? What about 100,000 feet? 

Literally, clicked off this thread to read an email and the first thing that popped out to me was “30,000 foot view..”.  Had to come back and report.

One more: “Opportunistically”

So now the trick is to find terms that apply to both porn and financial industries? Challenge accepted.

Box Spread

Penetrate

Endowment effect

Back-End Load

Bust

I guess it’s because normal airplanes fly at 30k feet. 50k maybe is for some old guy who used to ride in Concorde, or they are RG3’s vulture.

“Visit the Water Cooler forum on Analyst Forum. It is the best forum.”
- Everyone

great, now we’re gonna hear people saying “the Zephyr level view”

"Verdict: TRUE" - Fact Check

ohai wrote:

I guess it’s because normal airplanes fly at 30k feet. 50k maybe is for some old guy who used to ride in Concorde, or they are RG3’s vulture.

it probably has more to do with the ruppell’s vulture. investors are often compared to vultures so a vulture that can spot prey from 30,000 feet is one that can spot opportunity across a vast landscape. it might actually be a clever phrase if this is the case. it is possibly the fact that nobody knows what it refers to is what makes it annoying.

ohai wrote:

I guess it’s because normal airplanes fly at 30k feet. 50k maybe is for some old guy who used to ride in Concorde, or they are RG3’s vulture.

In the book “Sled Driver” the authors talk about flying over LAX airspace and radioing the tower for permission to go to 50,000 feet.

The controller replied something on the order of, “This is a joke, right?  You want permission to climb to 50,000 feet?”

“No, LA tower.  We want permission to descend to 50,000 feet.”

Simplify the complicated side; don't complify the simplicated side.

Financial Exam Help 123: The place to get help for the CFA® exams
http://financialexamhelp123.com/

“Solid”

Ramos4rm, CFA, CAIA

Or when someone says “I think the decision will have to be partly quantitative and a little bit of this”…*proceeds to lick index finger and hold it up in the air*

Ramos4rm, CFA, CAIA

S2000magician wrote:

ohai wrote:

I guess it’s because normal airplanes fly at 30k feet. 50k maybe is for some old guy who used to ride in Concorde, or they are RG3’s vulture.

In the book “Sled Driver” the authors talk about flying over LAX airspace and radioing the tower for permission to go to 50,000 feet.

The controller replied something on the order of, “This is a joke, right?  You want permission to climb to 50,000 feet?”

“No, LA tower.  We want permission to descend to 50,000 feet.”

love those SR71 stories

"Verdict: TRUE" - Fact Check

i like when Latin words are used.

De minimis

Et tu Brute

The place I work now doles out punishment for using favorite phrases from one of our buzz-word loving investors - incremental, granular, 30,000 foot view, etc.  Least favorite by far though is cautiously optimistic…

Jobbing

82 > 87
Simple math.

StallionDis wrote:

i like when Latin words are used.

De minimis

Et tu Brute

I used to be guilty of using ceteris paribus, but got tired of telling people what it meant so I stopped.  I’m in b-val and we sometimes conclude that the value of something is de minimis because we’ll almost never say something has zero value.

This space available.

“Not many people actually look under the hood on these kinds of deals”

“We do an on-site and kick the tires

“Before we pull the trigger we’ve got to go to the supermarket and squeeze the produce

Actually, I just made that last one up, but it should totally be a thing…

"When what I'm doing isn't working, that's when I'll take your criticisms." -- Me, some time ago

It’s a no brainer

non-traders using the word arbitrage.

"Verdict: TRUE" - Fact Check

dwheats wrote:
It’s a no brainer

Do you reply to perpetrator that, therefore, it should be right up his alley?

Simplify the complicated side; don't complify the simplicated side.

Financial Exam Help 123: The place to get help for the CFA® exams
http://financialexamhelp123.com/

LOL kick the tires…hated that.

Ramos4rm, CFA, CAIA

When people talk about multiplying initial investments over time with the suffix “bagger,” as in, “if you had invested in XYZ asset class over the last ABC years, you would have experienced a five-bagger…”

"When what I'm doing isn't working, that's when I'll take your criticisms." -- Me, some time ago

Send me the latest and greatest.

“essentially means”  <- can’t explain anything

“win-wins situation”  <- never happens

“pay by the drink” <- wat

“I know what they need” <- liar

“margin” <- which one?

“pull through business” <- dilusional sales exec

“amortizing when they mean capitalized” <- noob

“price when they mean cost”  <- cluesless exec

“getting my house in order”  <- not doing anything productive but leave me alone

“i’m not following you” <- im not listening can you repeat that?

“let’s touch base in the AM” <- me working til 3am

“hey bud” <- im not your kid and I don’t like you

My old finance manager used to always say “book em Dan’o” whenever we were closing the books for the month. 

“Duration”

“Interest rates”

“Correlation”

“Portfolio construction”

“Inflation”

“Risk”

“Expected return”

I’m so sick of hearing about all this crap.

Just heard today:

“Haircut”

“Correction”

“Buying the dips”

"When what I'm doing isn't working, that's when I'll take your criticisms." -- Me, some time ago

Let’s put these ideas in the parking lot and come back to them.

“I can no longer obey. I have tasted command, and I cannot give it up.”

Produced this elevator speech this morning, just for fun:

“I’m a business copy writer, I leverage high-profile bizspeak to add mission-critical positioning to best-of-breed nonsense that places innovesque solutions at the forefront of client mindshare in order to incent optimal stickiness.”

You want a quote?  Haven’t I written enough already???

Destroyer of Worlds wrote:
Just heard today:

“Haircut”

“Correction”

“Buying the dips”

Sounds like you’re listening to the dips.

Simplify the complicated side; don't complify the simplicated side.

Financial Exam Help 123: The place to get help for the CFA® exams
http://financialexamhelp123.com/

S2000magician wrote:

Destroyer of Worlds wrote:
Just heard today:

“Haircut”

“Correction”

“Buying the dips”

Sounds like you’re listening to the dips.

Absolutely. We have a rule – three douchey statement limit and then the meeting is over. No explanation, no social graces, we just tell the manager to pick his @$$ up off of that Italian leather chair and get the f*** out of here. Then we add a “That’s it, Skippy, pack your s#!t. Let’s go!!”

At that point, it scarcely matters if they know why they were discharged. We are doing our small part to violently filter the stuffed shirts directly out of the industry, one lost mandate at a time.

"When what I'm doing isn't working, that's when I'll take your criticisms." -- Me, some time ago

+ “I think, the FED…”

+ government coffers 

+ core-inflation

+ Grexit/ Graccident/ Greefault/ if sinners saw the light/…

+ a storm is brewing/ steer clear of stormy seas

+ customer-commission balance