I need ur help please!

Water Cooler
#1

AF brotherhood!.. I am going through a crises… i need your help and advise.

As you all know, I am married. Been married for 3.5yrs… things aren’t great, but aren’t terrible either…perhaps that’s what marriage is all about anyway. I’m 32, nearly 33 yrs old and my wife is 34. We’re trying for a baby right now and hoping to get preggers soon!!

Well there is this new girl at work. 21yo, fun, gorgeous, tall, long long legs like a stairway to heaven, she’s slim, flirty. She’s literally like a goddess, 1 in a million type girl. And she got a 1st class honors degree Cambridge so is super smart. But she’s 21 so a bit naive and immature.

Well anyway, on Friday night me a some colleagues went out for some drinks at one of their apartments. After a few hrs of drinking I bring out my stash, go to the toilet rack up some lines, she’s banging on the door. I open it and she comes in. - ‘what you doing? can i have some please?’ so i rack some lines up. All of a sudden she’s pulling up her dress, telling me to look at her stomach and look at her butt… She’s telling me she wants me. Telling me to fuck her there and then, grabbing ny c o ck through my trousers… pulling down her knickers.

So i touch her up for a bit ( i was v.drunk by this point) and then make my way back to the party. This goes on a couple more times whenever i rack a line up.

Then we hit with club, I pay for her entry, we’re drunk and coked up. She grinding all over me. ‘i’m so wet for you, i really really naughty in bed, i want you so badly, i keep looking at you at work, please fuck me’ she’s pressing all up over me rubbing my nut sack. Like what the actual fuck!

So after a few hr of this, i think shit dude… I need to make my way home. So i get a cab and rock in at 3am, the wife is asleep, all i’m thinking about is this hot, fresh, tight, slim 21yo poon and how badly i want to f u ck it…

On Saturday, she’s texting me. ‘hi, what you doing?’… I’m freaking out now… she can’t be texting me when i’m with my wife.

Now i’m in the office, i hear her giggling, having fun and looking super hot…

What do i do? We’re going to be working together for the next few years or however long!!.. What the f uck do i do?

Help me!

#2

Oh man… she’s looking at me now. She’s messaging me and stuff… oh dude.

Whadayado?

#3

Pics or it’s fake

#4

I would say that if there’s no kids and none on the way (for sure), you don’t care about half your assets and any applicable work policies, I would recommend to start plowing like a Wal*Mart parking lot immediately after a snowstorm.

#5

MODS - lock all other threads down. I need everyone focused on this thread.

#6

Wait…what? Last time I checked you were boring us with lame garden pictures. Literally… who the F is THIS guy

#7

Pokhim…this sounds like a lifetime movie. In which case, you are due to get run over by a car in short order.

Pull. Yourself. Together.

#8

I need to pull myself together… damn.

#9

You wack pokhum

#10

But what do i do? Slay her?..

#11

Pretty much the same thing happened to me earlier in the year but minus the pepsi and she didn’t work with me. She was easily a 9.8.

The thing you need to remember: it will be over in 2 pumps and a squirt but the guilt will linger longer.

Also, for the Americans. In the UK, inter office shagging isn’t frowned upon at all. In fact, it’s pretty much expected that when alcohol is introduced to a work outing that somebody will be getting their cock wet. I lost count of all the married guys who were quite openly shagging some young bit of fluff from the office, taking them for lunches in the same building, hushed conversations in the stairwell etc.

#12

So i should slay her, but live with the guilt for the rest of my life?

#13

They say the guilt is the strongest in the first stages, you might as well increase the pace both with her and other girls so the guilt washes of quickly.

#14

Lend me ya wife. I think she loves something outside of the marriage.

#15

To me, it seems like you have 3 options:

  1. Smash and feel guilty immediately. Then navigate your way through the headf u ck over the coming months.

  2. Take it as a massive compliment and try and reward yourself in other aspects of your life. You will also have top class wanking material that will last you for at least 6 months, the thought will be better than the act itself anyway.

  3. Tell your wife about how this hot young thing at work hitting on you (in a joking “isn’t this hilarious” kind of way) and then leave it a few weeks before asking for the 2 hole. Proceed to smash the 2 hole while imagining you’re up inside the tight 21 year old.

#16

Obviously, report sexual harassment and sue the company for not enforcing your gender protection.

#17

hmmm pokhim i say go sleep with the 21 yo. your current wife is too old i think to have children. dont worry about guilt. find happiness. yolo.

the first thing i would do is research divorce. find out what it would cost. is the juice worth the squeeze?

since you are recently married, there is probably no alimony, no children so no child support, and as long as most your assets are kept separate, pre marital assets should protect you.

but low key how did you not fuck her already. lol, a hot chick in a bathroom asking for a fuck seems like a done deal to me.

#18

His wife is already sleeping with the hot young chick at his work. Her hitting on him is all a setup so the Mrs. can get half his shit and enjoy it with her lady lover.

#19

This is what i’m thinking.

#20

If you could engineer it as the perfect crime and never get caught, still if you love your wife no. If not, yes.

But the facts suggest a different outcome.

In reality the italics is the outlier probability. There is a near certainty this 21 year old girl will either A) experience regret in the aftermath having experienced the chasm between her delusional expectations and reality, cast herself as the victim and leave you living in paranoia B) become a liability with her fast and loose behavior and wind up getting fired and attempt to take you with her for no logical reason or C) (most likely outcome) you will do a shoddy job of properly concealing it and you’ll end up taking yourself down in this. Do not rule out the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy or inexplicable STD passed to your wife and possible unborn child. You will then have torpedoed your career while having to explain to your wife why you received no severance in the “mass layoffs” while sweating bullets when you both cross paths with a coworker (hope she doesn’t know your coworkers). Should things fully go south you will be facing liquidation of your portfolio of wholly illiquid and highly leveraged assets while your friends flee the depressing train wreck you’ve become.

Consider kicking the coke habit (especially at work functions… obviously neither of you are as smart as you believe) and get your sh*t together. See Icarus.