im not at all saying that ur a homo or asking you to care about what i think. im just saying for me, it feels awkward to say. i was curious to hear if others felt the same.
real talk, if i tell my parents i love them, they might think something is wrong, like im suicidal or something. lol i’ll tell them that for shits and giggles.
holy shit they have a word for it. haha toxic masculinity. makes me laugh. that stuff is just how i was raised.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxic_masculinity
In psychology, toxic masculinity refers to traditional cultural masculine norms that can be harmful to men, women, and society overall; this concept of toxic masculinity is not intended to demonize men or male attributes, but rather to emphasize the harmful effects of conformity to certain traditional masculine ideal behaviors such as dominance, self-reliance, and competition.[6][7] Toxic masculinity is thus defined by adherence to traditional male gender roles that restrict the kinds of emotionsallowable for boys and men to express, including social expectations that men seek to be dominant (the “alpha male”) and limit their emotional range primarily to expressions of anger.[8] Some traditionally prescribed masculine behaviors can produce such harmful effects as violence (including sexual assault and domestic violence), promiscuity, risky and/or socially irresponsible behaviors including substance abuse, and dysfunction in relationships.[4][9]
In a gender studies context, Raewyn Connell refers to toxic practices that may arise out of what she terms hegemonic masculinity, rather than essential traits.[2] Connell argues that such practices, such as physical violence, may serve to reinforce men’s dominance over women in Western societies. She stresses that such practices are a salient feature of hegemonic masculinity, although not always the defining features.[2][10]
In a psychoanalytic context, Terry Kupers describes toxic masculinity as “the need to aggressively compete and dominate others”[11] and as “the constellation of socially regressive male traits that serve to foster domination, the devaluation of women, homophobia and wanton violence”.[12][13] According to Kupers, toxic masculinity serves to outline aspects of hegemonic masculinity that are socially destructive, “such as misogyny, homophobia, greed, and violent domination”. He contrasts these traits with more positive aspects of hegemonic masculinity such as “pride in [one’s] ability to win at sports, to maintain solidarity with a friend, to succeed at work, or to provide for [one’s] family”.[12]
According to Kupers, toxic masculine norms are a feature of life for men in American prisons, where they are reflected in the behavior of both staff and inmates. The qualities of extreme self-reliance, domination of other men through violence, and avoiding the appearance of either femininity or weakness, comprise an unspoken code among prisoners.[14][15] Suppressing vulnerable emotions is often adopted in order to successfully cope with the harsh conditions of prison life, defined by punishment, social isolation, and aggression. These factors likely play a role in suicide among male prisoners.[14][16]
Toxic masculinity can also take the form of bullying of boys by their peers and domestic violence directed toward boys at home.[17] The often violent socialization of boys produces psychological trauma through the promotion of aggression and lack of interpersonal connection. Such trauma is often disregarded, such as in the saying “boys will be boys” with regard to bullying.[18] The promotion of idealized masculine roles emphasizing toughness, dominance, self-reliance, and the restriction of emotion can begin as early as infancy. Such norms are transmitted by parents, other male relatives, and members of the community.[4][19] Media representations of masculinity on websites such as YouTube often promote similar stereotypical gender roles.[19]
Feminist author John Stoltenberg has argued that all traditional notions of masculinity are toxic and ultimately reinforce the oppression of women.[20][21]