Dear Financial Advisors of Water Cooler

A computer can not talk to my grandmother and explain to her why certain funds have higher returns than others. She thinks it’s ‘dumb’ and that she needs to speak to someone who knows what they’re talking about it. A computer cannot convince her otherwise, and there’s a long list of people who would be happy to accommodate her.

That’s not at all what I’m talking about though - I asked, implicit to the investment process, what he can do, a computer can’t.

Part of the process is dealing with old people, like Oma Schopenhauer

In the world of asset allocation? Nothing. I have zero value to add. All investments (and the associated returns) are commoditized.

Outside the world of asset allocation? Everything. What algorithm shows you the benefit of a QCD, how to report it on a tax return, how it bypasses the itemized deduction test, doesn’t get counted toward AGI for purposes of refundable tax credits, Social Security taxation, or medical deductions? Do you know what a QCD is? Do you know whether it applies to you? Do you know how much it will save you?

I only bring this up because a client just left my office. He was eligible to use $45k worth of QCD, but didn’t, because he didn’t know it was available. This would have saved him an estimated $11,000–risk free and tax free. On a $1m portfolio (and I have no idea how big his portfolio is) that’s a 1.1% freebie. What algorithm can give him a risk free, tax free, additional 1.1% return?

With enough time and some resources, quite a bit more than a computer, I’d wager. Whether it’s asset allocation or picking individual securities, quant sucks.

You just spent this whole thread boasting about how great you are relative to people around you, and then choke on and complain about the unfairness of having to take an easy intelligence screen. Are you sure your problems are caused by extrinsic factors?

I don’t know. TurboTax makes me think an algorithm will know it quite well with time

Is that a no on the fishing trip? I think you’re reading too much into things I don’t actually mean with any sincerity.

Is it 2?

I don’t think so. I think the answer is number 1. At least that’s what I put - which lead to an interview.

Why don’t you just draw a venn diagram or something?

That’s not the normal conversation for me. They usually have a problem like they’re concerned about saving for retirement or want to know what to do about debt, or they need me to review their insurance.

“My asset managers pick stocks I work with my clients on their plan and on implementing strategies that will support their plan. That strategy may include investing in specific stock or mutual funds. It may be to open a boring money market account at a bank to hold their fund for a short time. I can’t make a recommendation without understanding your situation better. I would never recommend investments with out understanding your financial situation and goals. Anyone who does is doing you a disservice and is not working in your best interests. Im not here to gather your assets, I’m here to help you organize your finances and work towards achieving your goals. Let’s get together maybe next Tuesday afternoon we can go over some things and see if it makes sense for us to update your financial plan. Are you available at 4pm or maybe Friday evening at 6?”

yeah

i go away for a week and this thread is too long.

also, my comment about a$$hats was not a jab at ceo, it was an acknowledgement that an advisor who has time to take a call to lie about returns to a stranger should probably just try to do better at actually achieving above average returns, or at the very least, go talk to a client or something. i mean, when someone calls me pitching something, i know in about 30 seconds whether i actually have interest or not. you’re an a$$hat if you don’t tell the person on the other side that you’re wasting their time.