Assy-metric. Now THAT is something I could get behind.
Dude, you’re totally missing the context of the argument. I said in my other post there’s nothing wrong with marriage in and of itself. The point was spending a ton of money on a ring. It’s the notion that society says you need to spend a ton of money FOR the marriage.
Your reading comprehension needs tuning
Actually, I quoted you so reading didn’t enter into it. It’s just funny thinking about what’s better to say “Never been married or divorced.”
Girls only care that you bought the diamond from Tiffany’s…normally they don’t ask “is it from DeBeers”…that’s brand power…DeBeer has economies of scale and bargaining power with distributors…i say you take a look at DeBeers whenever you can…
I didn’t mind spending a big chunk of money on the engagement ring. I think if I had gone cheap or fake, I would have regretted eventually. I think I spent around $15K. My wife wasn’t demanding that I spend that money, but it’s what I chose to do (and I’m not rolling in it by any means).
We also looked at brand name jewellery (Tiffany, etc). Personally, I didn’t like the brand name jewellery, not only was it way more expensive, but I also didn’t like the whole commercial aspect of it, I felt it cheapened the whole experience. I found a small jewellery shop run by an old guy who really had a passion for what he made and that felt a lot more personal. We went through ring styles and then I actually picked a diamond out of a bag of diamonds, and he made the ring, as opposed to just picking it off the shelf. The prices were also much more reasonable (you could basically get twice the diamond size for the same price and quality).
My brother went through this with some broad from the wonderful state of Florida a few years ago. he ended up spending some coin as she wanted a Tacori ring. Needless to say, five days before the wedding which was at one of the most expensive halls in FL, it got called off. I’m sure my mother got screwed on the rehearsal dinner but I don’t even want to know. Anywho, she was living in his house at the time. One of his best friends from where we grow up lives down there now. Together they are out of control. He called him up and said, he lets go out. It was a Sunday. She said if you go, I’m moving out. He went out. When he got home she was gone.
Next day she moved out with her family and she left a present on the bed which was a very expensive memory foam bed… An enormous load and a nice ur*ne stain. Of course she said the cat did it which would have been impossible.
By no means was she a model but she was attractive and seemed normal and she was likeable.
Of course this is an isolated incident but I don’t think ring cost really means anything in the long run.
The huge downside risk of -50% of assets doesn’t even count the sunk costs you already threw away. diamond ring, story book wedding, hunnymoon… combined is probably $30k - $60k+ not to mention lawyers fees to close the deal.
So, let’s take an average of that
At time 0 (marriage), you are -$45k to start
At time 8 (avg of years for divorce), let’s say you can save $30k year 1, and grow that out, up to $51k in savings in year 8. assuming your expenses increase with pay, discounted to PV yields, so $250k in savings (conservative). If the wifey doesn’t work, that’s -$125k in PV: kaboom.
If you actually punched out a kid during those 8 years… (statistic: half the children in the US will see a divorce) here come the child support payments… With that shiny CFA and you making 100k and if the wifey making the national average salary, that’ll work to probably $1600 per month. And that will continue for the next… 13 - 20 years, maybe longer if education support is needed. So, you got your n, i, pmt, your PV comes out to another ~$250k: kaboom. does NOT include college tuition mind you.
So, if you grab the average somewhere with some rounding error, you are essentially risking at least ~$250k (more likely $330k+) on a below10% chance of a lasting, happy, fulfilling marriage. Not including attorney fees, college payments, years of your life, and loss of freedom to do whatever the heck you want being single.
Don’t get me wrong, if I had the perfect girl and it would be a real lifelong marriage, I’d take it in less than a heartbeat. But other than that, it’s way too risky to “settle” for someone that may work out ok.
The huge downside risk of -50% of assets doesn’t even count the sunk costs you already threw away. diamond ring, story book wedding, hunnymoon… combined is probably $30k - $60k+ not to mention lawyers fees to close the deal.
So, let’s take an average of that
At time 0 (marriage), you are -$45k to start
At time 8 (avg of years for divorce), let’s say you can save $30k year 1, and grow that out, up to $51k in savings in year 8. assuming your expenses increase with pay, discounted to PV yields, so $250k in savings (conservative). If the wifey doesn’t work, that’s -$125k in PV: kaboom.
If you actually punched out a kid during those 8 years… (statistic: half the children in the US will see a divorce) here come the child support payments… With that shiny CFA and you making 100k and if the wifey making the national average salary, that’ll work to probably $1600 per month. And that will continue for the next… 13 - 20 years, maybe longer if education support is needed. So, you got your n, i, pmt, your PV comes out to another ~$250k: kaboom. does NOT include college tuition mind you.
So, if you grab the average somewhere with some rounding error, you are essentially risking at least ~$250k (more likely $330k+) on a 10% chance of a lasting, happy, fulfilling marriage. Not including attorney fees, college payments, years of your life, and loss of freedom to do whatever the heck you want being single.
Where I live it is the same for woman. If she earns more than her husband she pays for him and the childsupport.
What ever happened to making positive NPV decisions?
I would be interested in how the split works if the female makes more than the man (my gf cleans up, sales pays)…may have to get some legal insight there. I expect this scenario is becoming more common all the time.
Tap tap, is dis ting on?
Yea, they wouldn’t know by looking at all.
cubic zirconia can be made to be more beautiful than a real diamond. Nearly flawless clarity and color. There’s a bunch of ways to tell its not a real diamond though, and they don’t require a magnifying glass.
But the diamond industry has trashed CZ’s image as “fake”, “cheap”, “unworthy to show love”. Thus convincing people to continue to pour tons more money into the pockets of the diamond producers. What an awesome world we live in.
They appear identical to the naked, untrained eye, but a decent jeweler can tell the difference fairly easily. So, if the Mrs. ever went to get her ring cleaned or had to replace a side stone or something, there is a high probability she would find out. If the ring is insured, the appraiser (jeweler) would certainly know.
If you’re choosing between Cubic and Moissanite, you should research each as they have pros and cons. To me, Moissanite would be the better choice of the two. My biggest issue with diamond rings isn’t the cost or the tradition so much. I wouldn’t mind buying a diamond ring for $25k so much if I knew that what I was getting was an actual super rare diamond that had intrinsic value of $18k or whatever the diamond is priced at. But what bothers me so much is knowing that real fundamental value if DeBeers didn’t stockpile inventories to manipulate price so much would be like $800. Not to mention that Moissanite has better actual characteristics in almost every important category than a diamond.
Dont know how many ladies on here to holla back but anynoe else think diamond rings are a bit jaded?
Much better…http://online.wsj.com/media/Ruby_E_20081211125611.jpg
Thumbs up.
But that ring has like 10 billion diamonds on it.
The smaller the size of diamond, the cheaper it is.
Interesting you say that. Historically from what I understand the only nation to really value diamonds was India, and that was the only known source of diamonds for all of history until relatively recently in Africa, and it’s only since then that the diamond cartels have managed to brainwash the western world into believing that diamond are the only suitable engagement ring.