Thanks bchad!
I need to expose him as anti feminist. He cheats on his gf, goes out drinking and taking drugs, doesnt spend good time with his daughter, hit his gf. He is emotionally and physically dominant… Surely this contradicts feminism…?..
^the show is the perfect setting to call him out on this. then tell folks to weigh in on twitter after the show
#FeministOrCheatingDrunk
Womanizers have been the biggest beneficiaries of feminism, so his support is logical.
He can still be a feminist (i.e. support feminist principles) if he is willing to admit that he sets a crappy example. In that case he’s a feminist, just a bad one.
For example, I’m an environmentalist, but I’m not able to live a perfectly sustainable lifestyle. I recognize I fail a lot in that respect, but I still think sustainability is important and that we’ve got to keep trying to improve on that score. Thomas Jefferson was anti-slavery yet couldn’t maintain his economic base without slaves (or maybe his wife wouldn’t let him).
In my own life, I’ve come to the conclusion that the vegans are probably right about how horrific factory farming is to sentient creatures, but I can’t quite bring myself to become vegan (I have tried to cut down meat consumption, but I still like milk and eggs). In this, I have to live with some hypocrisy, or at least cognitive dissonance, but there is hope that I will slowly be able to get there one day.
I recognize that these are counterexamples to the free market analogy I gave above. But the point is if he recognizes where his own actions run counter to his stated principles (I’m a Christian, but I’m a sinner, too. Make me chaste and celibate, but not yet!), he can still argue that he is a feminist, just a bad one.
Do you really? You seem to be going on an ACE like obsession with this. Are you the feminist police? How is it your business? I love how at no point are you really concerned about her or their relationship, just hell bent on winning some pointless debate about who can be “feminist”. WTF? And what the hell does drinking and taking drugs or spending time with his daughter have to do with anything, Jesus Christ.
Anyhow, you’re really struggling with the concept that being physically and emotionally dominant (your words although I’m highly skeptical the more I see your obsession with this) is somehow contrary to feminism whereas the two seem unrelated.
Also your “friend” sounds a lot like Johnny Depp.
In the spirit of BChad’s example about environmentalism, Al Gore is clearly an environmentalist but he also definitely flies around in private jets and drives an SUV while having a mansion significantly less green than W’s Ranch:
The better question is why are you still friends with this jerk?
It sounds like what the OP really wants to do is expose what he perceives (rightly, if the evidence is representative and correct) as hypocrisy between ideals and practice. Whether he’s feminsit or anti-feminist doesn’t really matter much, I’d think. After all, if he is exposed as anti-feminist, “so what?” What happens then???
What the OP seems to need to do (for whatever reason) is to get the guy to address how his actions don’t appear to line up with his stated ideals.
It could be that his feminism is limited to opinions about equal pay for equal work, and that he thinks that men should still be dominant in the home (which would be a feminism that is out of step with the times). Or he might think that his wife also has equal rights to go out and carouse (this would be unusual). Or that she is perfectly free to leave him if she doesn’t like stuff, which is more of a libertarian approach.
Some of the responses in this thread demonstrate very low eQ. The OP is jealous and intimidated by his “friend” and possibly in love with his girlfriend.
I am obsessed and love him.
Damn. I should have seen that. Can’t win them all. Makes sense now.
Yeah, I was a bit confused on how this result would be actionable. I was imagining that pokhin throws a surprise party, and when they ask what is the occassion, he reveals the guy.
wrt to him hitting his gf, it is only anti-feminist if he hits mostly women and at least one woman outside of a relationship. for example, if he has a short temper and is known to be “quick to fight” both men and women, then this incident of him hitting his gf doesn’t make him anti-feminist. but if he is known for hitting multiple women outside of relationships and never men, he would be distinctly anti-feminist. being a bad and overbearing spouse doesn’t reflect your policital actions or beliefs. there are a lot of idealistic people in history who had terrible relationships and were terrible people in those relationships.
i understand i’m walking a fine line saying you can be a feminist while beating all of the spouses in your lifetime but i think this is acceptable given the examples given with same sex relationships. i don’t think you can judge someone’s broad beliefs by how they act in intimate relationships.
guys sounds like a d-bag though.
boooom. so is pokhim a chick or a dude. still cant figure it out. not that it matters of course. IM a progressive. equal rights for men and women.
This