I’ve been out of work for a year, left the job I loved , relocated back from a country x thousands kms away from home where I’d spent/lived for 4 years, because my mom was diagnosed with cancer and needed care & support. Even if it means that my career is in pieces (non-existent at the minute, dunno I’ll ever be abe to get back to the level where I actually was) I say this move was worth every minute/penny because she is alive. Meanwhile I studied a lot, collected a couple of acronimes after my name and hopefully these will help me in the comeback a bit at least. I wonder how on earth can I give account for this ‘wasted’ year when I’ll be asked in an interview, though. Well, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. No regrets. There are things money can not buy. I’m sure you would do that for your hubby/kid/ wifey.
I think you made the right decision, I hope it works out.
Keep me posted man, sounds like a good thing, hope it works out. What country are we talking about?
I am that type of person.
Hong Kong
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I’m beginning to get the sense you like Asians
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That’s one hell of a move, but would definitely be worth it IMHO. Worst case scenario you take a cool job in HK, give things a chance and have a blast. If it doesn’t work out, you just move back a year or two later with an awesome experience. If it does work out, well then that’s also a win. HK > NYC
Lol. Yes you are quite right on #1; comes after having lived in Asia for over a year. Can’t go after FOBs though.
On #2, we’re discussing that now. Trying to figure out whether she moves here or I there. I’d totally go there, but the expat days are just not what they used to be. I’ll keep on trying.
Also, my bad on Ultra, was away this weekend boarding in Socal; lets get that squared away this week.
The older I get the easier the whole female thing seems to be. Not that it was every terribly difficult to begin with. Could always get a decent grilfriend >7 . This despire being a pretty ugly guy.
But really these days it seems like the ball is in my court and I’m like Federer during his glory years. I got friends 10 years older than me in their late 30’s and the ball is still in their court. No reason to think I can’t do the same for a damn long time.
I have a hard time believing that any woman would be worth sacrificing a career for (unless she were so damn loaded it would make economic sense to me). I’ve got far too many role models that married chicks in their early 20’s when they were in their late 30’s. I’m gonna do the same. Those guys are happy as Hell. Meanwhile, the “ones that got away” are my age and when I think about it, OLD.
Please sticky this.
Likewise, my “one that got away” is now overweight and unhappy with her life. Meanwhile, the next one is always younger and hotter. Onward and upward!
You just sound bitter.
Good matches are easy when you’re shallow as a shower I guess.
I know many a bachelor investment banker in their 40’s. I’ve heard them strut around beating their chests making sure everyone knew how much of a better man they were. But it’s hilarious, because once they get a few drinks in them you wind up ditching them at the bar because the sob story they sing is just so damn depressing.
Look, it’s not too suprising you have a hard time believing any girl would be worth sacrificing a career over. You admitted you’re not good looking, you talk about girls solely in terms of NPV and their hotness ranking and basically never seem to have matured past the age of 13. None of us are shocked to learn you’ve never met / dated a girl with sacrificing a career over.
Every guy on this forum loves to get in on the models and bottles bashing everytime that stupid craigslist gold digger ad gets reposted. Then they’re shocked to learn that as pathetic as that girl is, they’re the male equivalent. Don’t try to sell me on the glory of a life defined by money and superficial traits. Been there, done that, no desire to stoop to that level.
The only thing more hilarious to me is when people jump on the bandwagon bashing prudish ideals in favor of the modern marriage where every guy has something on the side. I’ve been listening to the European I work with beat this drum for the three years I’ve been at this job. When it all came back full circle and his wife exercised the same rights, the marriage imploded because he couldn’t handle it, I had to listen to the sobbing screaming matches coming through his office door and just shook my head. Tired of all the bravado around this industry. People need to grow up.
Its posts like these that make me get up in the morning and keep at it, knowing my best days are ahead!
My dad just ended marriage number 3. I don’t want to wind up like him…
Agree that the “one that got away” is usually a case of selective memory. Although I did dance with a famous multi-millionaire heiress once…haha, I guess she got away, but I really couldn’t have dealt with the media attention. No wait, it was just a dance, damn.
Anyway, I can’t plan my life out as well as a lot of people on here seem to be able. When I was 26 I thought I’d wait until I was 40 to settle down because I was having so much fun. Now, I need a bit more balance in my life and meaningful relationships are a part of that…want to have kids relatively soon as well. I’m 31 now, probably settling down pretty soon. I’ve done the whole party thing all over the world and I’m ready to move on, with some selective debauchery in the future as well. Dunno, guess I’m becoming responsible (read: old).
You can read it that way if you want. I think it’s a bad deal for a man to get married before he’s 35. I can’t see that marriage would enrich my life in any way that just dating a girl wouldn’t. Most relationships, marriage or otherwise, don’t last for anyone, so there’s nothing wrong with being happy that I’m on an upswing and had a surprisingly positive turn of events from not marrying someone who is now unhappy and less attractive. The number and quality of women I can date has expanded significantly since I hit my late 20s, and there’s no reason not to celebrate that.
If you want to commit to one woman because you think she’s the one, more power to you.
Believe me: “It gets better” isn’t just for gay people. In the straight world, if you take care of yourself, even just a bit, it gets better.
And women get much more interesting and enjoyable as they age too. It’s true that we tend to see younger women as more physically beautiful, but they tend also to be much more high maintenance and obsessed about silly things (I’m sure men are too, but I don’t have experience dating men). As women age, if they take care of themselves and emphasize a sexy elegance, as well as become more interesting human beings (as we all hopefully do as we age), they become awesome companions to a worldly man. It totally gets better!
As men, we have an advantage that there are more models of attractive older men that we can grow into, and women respond to that. Women don’t have as many models to look at, but some find their own attractive way there.
^ indeed thank God. Where’d you get that line from by the way,“Glee?”
You haven’t heard of the “‘it gets better’ project”? A google search will help here.
That’s a fair point and I agree, but I think the happiest marriages from what I have observed are where there is a significant age gap (~7 years) and the man is older. Both parties get what they want – the man gets a younger woman, and the woman gets an older and more established man (presumably). My target is to find a nice 28 year old woman when I’m 35-38 and get married, which is coincidentally when I probably will have maximum choice. No need to rush it before then. There’s a value tilt that occurs over time, where a young attractive woman is higher value than a man her age in most cases, and an older and established man is more higher value than most women his age who are starting to decrease somewhat on the beauty scale in most cases. Might as well meet somewhere in the middle for a win / win, which is what a marriage should be based on anyway (mutual satisfaction of both parties).
Yeah, it really is common sense. I’m waaaay too immature for chicks my own age. … and they are waaaay too old for me.
I totally agree with the plan, just don’t think the execution works that easily. I mean, if you’re dating people (presumably) and you develop feelings for them and want kids you may not want to wait 5 years or whatever.