I was out in Georgia hanging out with some boys following a ball game. One of my boys suggested we kick the night off at a bar that specializes in country and western music. Whatevs I thought.
I get two mason jars (yes mason jars) of cheap draft beer and begin watching the band play. All of a sudden I lock eyes with a blonde who appears to at least a decade older than me. She approaches the group (total textbook southern belle) and begins speaking with me. I set one of my beers down on the bar as she brings me over to her two friends (also very attractive). The first belle disappears while I’m talking to her two girlfriends. I finish one mason jar, and return to the bar to get the other one I purchased.
By now my boys want to venture out to another spot where we are meeting the rest of the crew. I kill the second brew and leave with them. Once I sat down in the car, my head is spinning and my ability to focus is gone. I’m having trouble seeing things clearly and overall just feel a vice grip on my guts.
I tell my boy to pull over since I’m struggling and I immediately upchuck. I mean, I’m upchucking worse than a bulimic bitch. I didn’t eat much for dinner and only had the 2 brews at the country spot. I wash my mouth out with water feeling good to go. I’m not, next thing I know, I sit back in the car and I’m out. My cell phone rang at 5:00 AM waking me up on the hotel bathroom floor. I had no recollection of anything inbetween.
I have a feeling something was slipped in my drink. Why, I have no clue. But it was not a pleasant experience at all. Of course I was the butt of jokes for my inability to hold 2 beers down. However, something had to have been put in my drink to get me puking and blacking out my memory. Maybe the belles wanted to run a train on me? Maybe a jealous KKK racist fugg wanted to lynch me? Maybe the bar didn’t like colored folks? Who knows. Lesson learned, no matter who you are, never leave a drink unattended.