Post from a candidate's gf: What would be most helpful to all of you who are studying?

You’re an awesome gf for even thinking of asking for guidance. I’m tempted to provide you with bad advice for selfish reasons but jokes aside the statements listed above are gold. I would just add that when it is your time together, don’t even bring up studying/test or anything finance related. Talk about your day and help get his mind of the topics for the time being. Beyond that, sexy lingerie while cooking is always refreshing - cheers.

You best you can do to help him is by helping him avoid all distractions. What a lucky geezer!

@ the OP,

Just a heads up, after he passes lvl 2 he’ll probably be courted by a Hedge Fund in NYC, start making $500k+ and leave you for some slovakian model… so dont do anything too nice or spend too much money…

(oh gawd I feel awful now, lol)

+1 on the good GF

All of the above is good advice but you know him best and you know best how to act around him. Both my partner and me have done the CFA and we are both different. She sounds like mad’moiselle (above) and is prone to anger when stressed. I just go into myself and like to be left alone.

When I was studying all I wanted was to be left to make my own decisions and what I was going to do. External pressure to do things or not to do things that are not CFA related, just heaps unnecessary pressure on. Also, saying anything about whether he will pass or not is redundant. Unless you have done the course you have no idea. The best encouragement you can give is to be positive about all the scenarios that are possible. Tell him that if he fails, you’ll support him in trying again. Try to make him aware that you know what a big deal this exam is to him. He has invested a huge amount of his life into attempting it. No matter how smart you are this exam is a toughie.

Good luck over the next couple of weeks.

booty call.

The fact that you registered on here to ask this question means you are probably already doing above and beyond what you need to. Just keep doing what you are doing.

^This and +1 on the good gf. All of the above is good advice…laundry, cooking, the sexy time. However, make sure it’s when he wants it…i.e. don’t suggest a sexy break if he’s in the zone and studying. Maybe when he chooses to take a TV break or if has chosen to call it quits for the night and go to bed. If he doesn’t completely pass out then initiate le sexy time…followed by a sandwich…cliche and sexist maybe i know…but this is really is an awesome touch and he’ll love you all the more for it. You’re cool.

You need to pull him aside and have a serious talk about the future, and whether he plans on marrying you. If he says he doesn’t need this right now and he’s trying to focus on the exam, he’s being evasive, and you should pressure him further. Don’t let up.

Two weeks out–this is when he’s the most vulnerable. If you miss this window you may never see another…

Wtf with all these “good g/f” comments?! My woman laments and just operates as normal; hell it’s HER time too. To the OP, support but don’t go overboard. You’re not some pet.

It always hard on private life when you commited on this kind of exam!


Really, mfreema2? Hope you’re kidding… This sounds like terrible advice to me. I wouldn’t do this to someone else, and wouldn’t want them to do it to me either. You want a partner, not a hostage taker.

Keep doing what you’re doing, supportQ. Just be patient (sounds like you are - kudos to you!); it will be over soon. He will be grateful if you make few or no demands - and on a positive note, this can be a terrific time to enjoy some time with your friends, watch all the movies he wouldn’t like, work out, sleep, go to the spa… Give yourself all the attention he doesn’t want or need right now, and you’ll both come out of this happier!

Right now it’s hard on all of us to not do things, and even harder to say no to them. If you let him take the initiative and simply follow his lead, rather than propose activities, he will be VERY grateful to you. Time is at a ridiculous premium right now, and therefore free time is the best gift you can offer him. That and a smile and a good laugh when you are together - we don’t smile enough these days…

Sorta got the same problem… I keep telling the Pubs/Bars to stop being in the area I walk around after 4pm… just for the next three weeks… but they just don’t understand… I tell them, ‘why can’t you just be Laundry Mats?’ but nope… geez, wish I had a gf like you…

Also, the flip side to #3

3b. Don’t take it personally if he’s just wants it. does the deed, and then leaves to study again without doing a lot of the extra stuff girls like.

I am going to tell you my experience, I am sitting for L2 on the 1st of June. CFA cost 2 girlifriends. The way I see it is this: I totally understand that you might feel a bit neglected. All I wanted for my ex’s was a bit of mental support. I did not want hugs and stuff like you should pass etc. When I was an undergrad I had a girlifriend that was always behind me. She never said anything about passing exams etc. She always motivated me. It does not matter if you fail or anything. Dream something, go after it, and I will be here to admire and support your effort.

She never said anything about my studies etc. That is the kind of support I need. Now, once my 2 ex’s started winning about not spending enough time together and at some point cry on it, I felt I were with girls that do not show respect to my goal. I was studying like crazy gathering every hour I could find and one my ex’s went so mad because I did not go with her, walking the dog out.

In order to deal with this and defend it, I developed a cynical way of explaining it to myself. A CFA way

1st: The less supportive you are, the less our relationship will last.

2nd: The more wining or crying, the sooner I will get bored with you.

3rd: Not all analysts can execute specific IPSs. I want to do my CFA but you want to go out every night. We have different objectives and constraints that define our IPSs. Since I cannot serve you well, you should refer to someone how is better in that kind of objectives and constraints you set and hopefully your portfolio will serve your needs.

Keep up supportQ. You certainly have my respect. Good Luck with your boyfriend.

I am kidding. What kind of world would this be if we didn’t have a little fun at someone else’s expense…

OP you sound like you love your boyfriend. He’s a lucky guy.

My girlfriend (now wife) was very supportive. She would hide notes of encouragement in my books. Stuff like “I’m your number one fan!” She wouldn’t let me get too down on myself. If I started to whinge about things she would be positive and tell me to get on with the job. She also agreed to go stay at her parents for a week before L3 so I could completely focus on the exam.

I guess the point is, don’t give him any reason to take his focus off the exam. And if he does, tell him to snap out of it and get back to work.

One thing to remember that is coubterintuitive is that “I’m sure you’ll pass/do fine,” is not as calming as you would think. It’s a tough exam, with a high failure rate, and he’s now at the stage where he’s imagining an exam full of all the parts he has problems with, and there are potentially so many that it can seem frightening.

When you say “I’m sure you’ll do fine,” many guys are ging to acknowledge your support and say thanks, but inside what they may be thinking is “how is she going to feel if I don’t pass, after spending all this time putting her on hold.”. So something along the lines of “I’m sure you’ll pass, and I’ll still love/admire/respect you no matter what the result is.” Or “I really admire your dedication to this.”. Those kinds of things will be more helpful than “I’m sure you’ll pass.”

^ Agreed. I hated it when people assumed I would pass.

I’m kind of a dick I guess (relative to some of the suggestions about do something with him exam day weekend), but the coolest thing my wife did is say ‘go out with your buddies after the exam and we’ll spend the next weekend together’.

I just wanted to get hammered with my bros after the exam. I had to blowoff the past months of going HAM on the books, and then was good to spend time with the wifey the next week.

Not to be too inappropriate, but letting him know you’re there for him for ‘stress relief’ whenever he needs it (don’t try to throw it at him when he’s studying/focused).

You’re a good girlfriend, and he’s a lucky guy. Keep up the good work - this will make you guys stronger once you get through it, and you can give him shit for it over the next 5-10 years. So enjoy that but be supportive until he’s through it.

It’s true that - immediately after the exam - you kinda want to decompress with others who have just been through that experience and can relate to what’s just happened.

If he has some study buddies and friends doing the exam with him, maybe you plan to have a get together with them. And if they bring their BFs/GFs along to the event, you’ll have people you can relate to as well.