Fair enough. It’s not as though I haven’t done the same thing.
You better double-check your work to make sure this is legit.
IIRC, there’s no such thing as a “pre-nup”, because once you get married, the whole contract changes. Therefore, the only agreement that is valid is a “post-nup”, which is signed AFTER you got married. I’m not a lawyer, and your state is different from mine, but I’d still err on the side of caution and consult with one.
Sorry. If you’re looking for a story about inheriting a huge sum of dynastic wealth…look elsewhere.
When I was growing up (in a trailer on a ranch in rural Texas), we were lucky to be able to eat and keep a roof over our heads. (And no I’m not being facetious.) I paid for my own cars and my own college experience (what the military wouldn’t pay for, anyway).
I would still consider myself an underachiever, relative to my native intellect and my good family life. (My parents stayed married for 46 years–right up until my dad died last year. And they taught me to work hard and they taught me good morals, etc. But as far as the economics are concerned–my parent did me absolutely no favors. I’ll have to work to earn every single dollar I ever have.
^for some reason i read that in the voice of morgan freeman (shawshank narration style)
I am 100% sure our contract is fine. We had a law office that specializes in writing and defending prenupts with a long demonstrated track record of doing so. There are many, many cases of successfully upheld prenupts. Anything to the contrary is just urban legend.
I’m the first one in my family to graduate college. Hardworking family-oriented blue collar parents. I never felt poor except for a few times my dad went on strike and we had to eat gubment cheese for a while. Never felt really poor though (until college when I interacted with a different social-economic class for the first time). Realized too late that my parents amassed a ton of credit card debt and over leveraged their house. I’ve bailed them out a few times and will have to buy them a condo in the next couple years when they can no longer maintain their house.
Ohai, are the from the mainland or the SARs or Taiwan? Were you born there or in the US?
^ I would guess Indonesia with Chinese ancestry? My brother’s wife is from Jakarta (but Chinese) and it seems to mesh with some earlier comments.
Can you give some of us youngin’s the cliff notes on the process to get to this point?
Don’t think so. Imperial side wouldn’t move to Indonesia. Famly was probably aligned with the KMT and started US education in the 30-40’s. Probably fled to Taiwan after 49 or went direct to US (though that would have been difficult with Immigration laws then).
I haven’t been following this thread. What story would you like me to share? I saw Owen Hart die at a WWE event in KC a long time ago. I can now see thestrals.
[it doesn’t look like Cliffsnotes, but given the number of years it took to deal with it, it’s still relatively brief]
Specifically neutralizing (or more realistically, compartmentalizing) the wacky aspects of my mother and stepmother required some time with a therapist. It also helped my relationships in general because we can get programmed with an idea that love is how our opposite sex parents treated us, even if they treat us like crap. So one part of the process was learning that a good relationship might feel less exciting in the beginning and that I might be passing up perfectly good partners because they didn’t do that mysterious emotional manipulation that these other women do, or at least the emotional manipulation they did do was not for selfish reasons (which is the more important case). So it changed what I looked for in partners and it made me look more carefully into what might hook me to any particular woman and look for warning signs of stuff that I might be unhealthily attracted to.
One of the keys was realizing that as a survival skill, I learned to appease my mother to keep her from flying off the handle. As an adult, this made me more attractive to women who did that, and they would actually seek me out. Meanwhile, they would do their hot and cold routine to hook me in, and I fell into those relationships that later blew up. So there were two things I had to learn to neutralize: first was to recognize that these sort of women were looking for me so had a higher liklihood of finding me, would drown me with initial charm, and my instinctive response to them was to jump at the bait. So the trick was to recognize early signs of these behaviors (one of which was my instinctive attraction to them), and learn to look for women who were more even keeled, understanding that there might be less of an initial feeling of firey passion, because they weren’t necessarily trying to manipulate my buttons.
There is a different part that didn’t require therapy which simply is a recognition that women experience the world differently than men (and in ways that we men might never fully be able to understand in any way other than intellectually, if even that). Given that experience, some of which is probably nature and a lot of which is definitely nurture, one has to accept that a lot of what drives women’s behavior that seems irrational to us men is stuff that likely would be rational to us if we experience the world the way they do. Not every difference in priorities is a sign of craziness, and can be as much about a difference in perspective and experiences.
The key here is to recognize that you can accept that their needs are valid for them without saying that your needs and desires are therefore invalid (which is where the BPD behavior of my mother had to be neutralized). At that point, it becomes more of a negotiation of how a couple will navigate the challenges of making sure both are happy given limited time and resources to do so.
None of this means that my life is conflict free or stress free when it comes to relations with women, but it does mean that there is a lot less time spent thinking she’s utterly crazy. My main issue with my GF these days is that she gets jealous easily, but I understand the personal history and the cultural background that drives it and I do what I can to ease her concerns (within limits). Figuring out where the limits are between understanding your partner and drawing boundaries on what you will accept is more an art than a science, but it still needs to be done.
I’m going to guess Ohai is ethnic chinese from HK but grew up in Malaysia.
Or maybe family from ML but grew up in HK. Yeah I pick up that vibe.
Wow. Were you actually there?
I remember that pretty vividly. That was at the end of my Freshman year of college, during the good old days.
We need to bring back the attitude era. This new era of wrasslin’ is for pussies. They don’t even blade themselves anymore!
lol
They let CM Punk go. That’s the equivalent of IF they let Shawn Michaels leave in the mid 90’ right after the ironman match. They need to bring back the hardcore matches, and cruiserweight.
Yep, actually there. Saw him fall from the rafters and hit the back of his neck on the corner of the ring. At first, most people thought it was a stunt, but it became apparent pretty quickly things went way wrong. They tried to revive him briefly before carting him backstage. He died instantly.
The show went on though. I think the main event was Goldberg vs. Bam Bam Bigelo. Definitely Goldberg.
Goldberg was the sh*t.
The sad part is most likely nobody read this post (not a throw at you, but a guess, knowing most of AF general audience) let alone the idea of actually working towards “getting” on the same page as you are…