I’ve been trying out okcupid for a while now, and it gets more and more depressing. After a while you get so skeptical if the person is actually anything like they claim. Picture can be way off, personality totally fake, you might find the occasional what seems like normal person, and then you find in their questionnaire that they do hard drugs regularly.
The fact that those websites exist make me lose faith in humanity.
Go out to a club/ join a group or something brah. (It’s pretty to see if someones a phene in-person).
I have never tried those websites, but my brother in law is also trying to find a GF for long time now. What I notice is. They are on a dating sites for some reason. Like alpha omega says join a club.
My friend met his girlfriend on eHarmony. I have never met the girl, but the guy is pretty normal, although kind of an introvert. I don’t think dating websites are a bad concept. They just need good filters and marketing to a high quality user base. Also, the matching procedure needs to be very intelligent, or supervised by a real person who can spot bullshit.
I’ve been on okcupid for a few months and I feel the same way. I mean, I’ve gone on a few dates and I found a ONS, but most people on there have nothing going for them. The attractive women that have a job and are actually desirable don’t stay on there very long because they get hundreds of messages and pick one person and then go off the site. I hate when I find a normal and attractive girl, then I see she’s 25 and has 2 kids.
I don’t put much effort into it anymore since it’s you spend lots of time on there with such a low rate of reward. I’ve been putting more time into trying to meet people in real life.
I am much more attracted to ‘traditional’ ways of meeting someone…dunno…online dating seems like such a consumerist attitude to take in what is supposed to be a romantic thing…just not my thing at all…not that i have anything going for me to begin with haha…to each his own i guess!
in my mind, I’ve always had this idea that if a girl was really desirable, and wasn’t nuts, there are nearly always a bunch of guys trying to ask her out, if she isn’t already taken. And this supply should be decently abundant enough that she doesn’t have a need to go on a dating website.
In rare circumstances, I might be able to understand, like someone who has a demanding job and there is no one around the age bracket, but a bunch of profiles I see start with “I’m not sure what I’m doing with my life, I like music…etcetc”
It’s more amusing now actually, because it makes me feel better about my life haha
isn’t it ironic…civilisation exerts so much effort to wipe out darwinisim in various facets of life…but when it comes down to it…the truth always has the indelible mark of darwinism lurking behind the veil.
Hmm. It’s interesting to think about it this way. My friend who met his girlfriend online is a talented and successful engineer for a large technology company. He has no time or desire to go to night clubs and hit on women. Furthermore, his job has like a 10/1 M/F ratio. So, it is unlikely that he will meet many women from work related activity. It is reasonable that his lifestyle would necessitate a fast service like internet dating.
For career women, it is unclear if it would be easier or harder to find men to date. Most high-earning women work in male-majority jobs. So, it might be easy for the women to meet men through usual daily routine. On the other hand, unsuccessful men are intimidated by successful women. So, career women can only date men who are at least as successful as themselves, which constrains the universe of potential mates. Men, in general, do not have this constraint - career success is rarely a factor in choosing women to date.
I never had any luck with those dating sites. It reminds me of the Morningstar style box we learned at L3; you look for someone with certain characteristics and if that person doesn’t fit the criteria you don’t invest. I also think a lot of the girls on those sites are cookie cutter. They all claim to like cooking, traveling, and Central Park.
Do these sites have videos of members or just pics?..i have never been on one haha
Have not used any online site extensively, but have glanced at a couple. I concluded there are two ways to win (if you define these as “winning” – maybe a relative term):
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MILFs – there were some decent “older” women on these sites. Not 50, but like 35-40 range, divorced, looking for someone fun. For better or worse, I live in one of the richest counties in the country and get approached by MILFs on a regular basis, divorced or not. I don’t need a dating site for that.
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The 25 year old with two kids mentioned above. Hate to be crude, but these are pump and dump material (you know it because they’ve already done it). Not interested in raising someone else’s kids.
Normal, attractive women don’t need to go on a dating website because they get hit on dozens of times a day as it is. Whenever there is a smoking hot woman on a dating site, there is a 99% chance it is some kind of scam (send me money and I will come visit you!) or she is on there for attention.
I know several success stories off of eHarmony, but they are all older (50s looking to remarry). Youngish people around 30, I don’t know about that. I feel like the best play would have been to meet a woman in undergrad or grad school and get married sometime after that. The good ones are taken by 30 – not that I’m trying to get married anyway.
Well I looked at match.com without paying and okcupid, which is totally free. Almost always it is pictures, I’ve only seen one person post a video.
There are also traps here as well. If the picture is only chest and above and is confined to that, they could very well be a whale underneath. Or if the picture was taken at an odd angle or if the girl is wearing heavy eyeliner etc… Be very wary
It just gets really dumb after a while when you realize the first thing you do is scrutinize for these traps.
I can see why a free dating website would be a bad idea. First of all, many users might not be serious. Second, cheap stuff tends to attract people from the society’s barrel bottom. Online dating is probably like MBAs - you need to get the premium product, or else it’s not worth it.
I can understand that premise, but from personal experience it’s not true. I don’t see much of a difference betweeen match and okcupid in terms of quality.
Speaking of this, has anyone tried Ivy Date? It’s a dating site for people who attended Ivy League schools or equivalents and membership is verified / acceptance only. They have some super hot women in the ads (the kind that would never go to an Ivy school). I’m curious to know how well the site works. It seems like it would be a much better deal for women than men.
I’ve met nice women on dating websites, including a high-powered portfolio manager who is very pretty. Admittedly, however, not for some time now. Perhaps people have learned how to game the system.
There are good people out there on dating websites, but the challenge is that you have to sort through a bunch of stuff you’re not interested in too. For us guys, who often prioritize looks over the stuff that you can read about in a profile, being in a bar or other environment where we can see everything just lets us sort and decide much faster, so it *seems* like it’s a lot worse online.
But, quite honestly, I like having a bit of a profile and set of interests to learn about before launching into a conversation.
As for photos and pics. Lots of men (and women too) complain that people don’t look as enticing as their profile photos when they show up in person. But you figure that most people are going to post their most flattering pics on a profile, so it’s natural to expect that the version that pops in after work for a quick drink on a humid day might not be quite so good. I think there’s a difference between not looking like your very best photo and saying that you’re 33 years old when you’re actually 41.
Anyway, it’s not all bad out there, though the composition does change as people age. I’ve been meeting more people lately by going out dancing. I’m not a big drinker, and I find a lot of bar talk inane, and even if you don’t meet anyone, at least you burned some calories.
I think one of the values of online dating is as a learning experience. Ever see the okcupid trends page? I remember one statistical word cloud they did based on race and sex and it was rather amusing as to what people say they liked and how cliche certain things become. Let’s face it, a lot of people in the world are both boring and stupid. We’ve tended to figure out how a lot of these people may act in person, but it’s a new experience to read how they try to describe themselves online. Once you figure it out, you’ll realize that the girls who says they “like to laugh” and spend weekends “hanging out”, are those boring and stupid people in cyberspace. Of course, you need to figure out yourself how to avoid the cliches like “I’m an easy going guy”.
I’m not sure if “boring” and “stupid” need to go together. “Boring” is subjective (although “stupid” is somewhat non-subjective). Most people are probably just better off with people of similar intelligence. Less intelligent people probably find intelligent people pretty boring as well.