I was in a heated debate with a few people recently, some of whom I have only met a few times but from what I heard from them, I don’t really like them already…
So the debate started when some guy mentioned “men would never be friends with women they are not attracted to”, then it quickly became an argument of “men and women can never be just friends”.
From what I’ve heard, most guys (and a few girls) believe, men and women only get close to each other because there is an attraction of more than just friends. Meaning, there is no point for a guy to get to know a girl further if he is not interested more from her. And similar is true for girls, they would meet male friends but unless they are somewhat attracted to them, they would remain acquintances, coworkers, classmates, professional contacts, etc.
The argument gets down to, “would you ask a friend of opposite sex out, who is not a love/ sex interest, to just chat or chill?”
NANA
EDIT: My side of the debate is that “Yes, men and women can be good friends”, in fact, i have plenty of close male friends!!
bchad will say yes, but the answer is no. Unless she’s really ugly then maybe. Otherwise sexual tension will eventually cause things to get complicated, even if it’s completely one-sided.
In movies and tv shows, OF COURSE there is always an attraction, i mean we don’t have to look far, just think “Friends”. They need it to create drama and plots…
Now in reality, do you have any good female friends?
yes, that’s another point, if there is no physical attraction (the girl is ugly in this case), the guy wouldn’t even get to know her in the first place to become friends to start with.
so they will just remain coworkers, if they work together, or classmates if they go to the same class…
I suppose theoretically if there is mutual interest but from my experience men and women differ so much, the only link between the two is the sexual attraction. Sexual attraction is the only reason i speak to women wheni dont have to and i can confirm with confidence it’s the only reason they speak to me because i know they have nothing in common.
In short, i must take the opposing side and conclude, no.
Here’s a question, how many of you would still remain friends with your significant other (gf, wife, mistress ect) if there was no sexual attraction? I understand a large part of a relationship is shared interest but the sexual attraction is the glue.
OOC - how old are you? I’m assuming you’re not married, nor have you ever been.
When you’re 22 and trying to bang as many women as possible, then this is more or less true.
When you’re in your mid-30’s, have been married for six years, and have two kids, then shared interest is the most crucial part of your relationship. Sexual attraction is nice, but it’s definitely just icing on the cake.
