The mother in law is over for 2 weeks...

Water Cooler
#1

Now i’m fine for a couple of days or a visit over the weekend, but to spend your 2 weeks of you annual leave picking up locum work near to your daughter and staying in their house is a bit much.

I have 5 main problems with this:

  1. They talk, and they talk A LOT! When I get home I want quiet time and some peace in my kitchen, cooking… She and the Mrs just talk and make too much noise.
  2. She wants to do all the cooking. Dont get me wrong, she’s a great cook. But there is only so much curry and rice one man can take. I’m trying to do paleo and shred down a couple kilo, but all the oil she puts in the food is driving me nuts. I said that yesterday I was gonna grill some chicken and have some broccoli, but they ganged up on me and we ended up with chicken pilao.
  3. She’s pointing out all the things I need to do in the house. When I know there is shit loads to do, but I don’t have the time.
  4. There is not enough room on the sofa.
  5. We HAVE to do something this weekend. I can’t just spend it gardening and cooking and doing house chores. I have to go into town to the theatre, go for a meal on Saturday then Sunday we have to do something else…
#2

Stop being a pushover, you married an asian girl and you are still doing the cooking… you are denying one of the few advantages of going asian

#3

Paleo is a horrible diet. Try something else.

http://health.usnews.com/best-diet/paleo-diet/reviews

#4

pakistani…

#5

Thanks for the link. We’ll stick to paleo for 30 days. Mrs has some food intolerances and we’re trying to figure out what they are…

#6

#7

Probably intolerant to raw shit from the stone age. Must be why the life expectancy was so much longer in prior centuries.

I’m too lazy to look, but aren’t you the one that had the budget issues like a week ago? Why not bring up the expenses at the dinner table and take out two birds with one stone (jk).

Seriously, half of this stuff is your fault. You can have her there while setting up boundaries and just say, “I need my time”, or “two meals a week while she’s here I’m eating X”, or simply going to a coffee shop to chill for an hour after work while she’s there for peace, or read in a room or something.

The rest of it is stuff you need to get over. The fact that she wants to use her two weeks visiting her daughter is awesome. If all family relationships were that great we’d have a better society. Like it or not, people die. Having a daughter has made me very aware of this as I’ve moved into a new stage of life and am coming to terms with the fact that I may only have 20 good / active years left with my parents under even favorable scenarios. It’s good to capitalize on that time while you can and interrupting that with your wife over some whiny shit would be selfish. I don’t necessarily love my gf’s mom to peices, but I encourage her to visit because she respects my space and it makes my gf happy and I won’t get in the middle of that.

#8

Looks like you are evicted from pound town for the next 2 weeks. Or not.

#9

Isn’t that the plot of the graduate?

#10

I don’t know…If his wife grew up in a conservative household, getting taken by her husband while her mom is in the next room could be a huge turn-on for her.

I’m not speaking from experience or anything…

#11

^CvM. respect.

#12

quit complaining. my PIL are coming over in the next couple of days to stay for over a month. and i have three kids. also, my house is not a mansion. listen to CvM. take your medicine and chill out.

#13

Pokhim, let me see if I understand your five problems correctly:

  1. Your MIL will be engaging your wife so she can’t actively bitch or nag at you,

  2. She’s cooking yummy food for you, so you don’t have to,

  3. She’s pointing exactly how lazy you are, and it hurts your feelings,

  4. “There’s not enough room on the sofa” (I don’t even know how to paraphrase this one), and

  5. She wants to be active in her daughter’s (and presumably your) life, and spend quality time with you.

Are these the problems you’re having?

#14

Is she hot?

#15

This is true…thanks for putting it into perspective.

#16

Fair points…

I guess my gripe was having things change to how i’m used to them. I like routine.

I like my mother in law, she’s lovely. Just the noise and chatter can be a bit too much, and she cooks oily food.

Thanks for putting it down like this though… I do sound like a moaning bell-end.

#17

^ Never heard the term “bell-end” before. Love it.

#18

OP is concerned that an outsider is coming and will disrupt his established living pattern. Even if the mother in law is great, it is natural for people to feel uncomfortable when forced to deviate from their normal behavior.

Think of it an opportunity to gain points with the mother in law, as this feedback will come back through your wife’s behavior.

#19

I can somewhat relate with not liking having your normal behavior disrupted. I don’t know if it’s a cultural thing or family-specific, but my wife’s family insists on acknowledging all significant dates (birthdays, anniversaries, holidays) first thing in the morning. I don’t care when it’s a weekend, but I really don’t need to spend 15 minutes on Skype at 7:30 on a weekday when I’m trying to get my kids off to daycare and me off to the office. Is it really such a horrible thing to wish someone a happy birthday during the evening?

#20

Just smile and nod a lot

For the weekend, organize them “a girls night out” in a spa or something. They will be happy to have time to themselves and you can stay home and chill