Guy: I don’t know, i’m pretty flexible. What do you feel like?
Girl: Just pick a place and lets go.
Guy: Ok - great. Let’s grab some sushi. Girl: No, I don’t feel like sushi. What do you want? Guy: Hmmm. ok. I’m down for whatever. Girl: Just let me know what you feel like and we can go there. Guy: Ok - lets grab a steak. Girl: No, I don’t feel like steak, I feel like Italian. Guy: Ok great. Lets go to that Italian restaurant around the corner. Girl: No, I kind of want to order out. Guy: Ok - thats fine. I think they have delivery. What do you want from there? Girl: Pizza. Guy: What kind of pizza? Girl: Whatever pizza you want. Guy: Ok - what about the meats? Girl: No, I don’t really feel like all of that. What about just pepperoni? Guy: Ok - thats fine. Pepperoni pizza. Why didn’t you just say you wanted pepperoni pizza? Girl: Because I wanted to know what you wanted. Guy: Ok - I’ll order the pizza.
The trick is to come home from work already having eaten dinner on your way. Then when asked what you want for dinner, matter-of-factly dismiss the idea, saying, “Oh no thanks, I couldn’t eat another bite.” Then continue reading your issue of the Robb Report on the couch. When she fumes, just shrug and work up a frown, at the same time.
There are definitely times when “Just pick a place and let’s go,” feels like it really means “I want to see you guess what I really want right now and I’m going to interpret it as proof that you really care about me (or not).”
She wants to see an initiative from you while giving her the flexibility to chose.
After her first reply, you simply provide her with 3-4 solid options of different cuisines that you want and, even better, specific places. Then let her pick one. She can’t reasonably reject all four choices (much easier mentally to do it with only one option) and if she does, I give you my permission to flip out on her.
you mean thinking is hard for her so she wants someone to do it for her, but in a way that she will end up liking.
bitches be lazy, amiright? my wife pulls this shit a lot – asking me to do something for her that she could easily do herself but she just doesn’t feel like doing it. I can’t recall at time I’ve ever asked her to do the same. If it’s something a man can do, he does it himself.
Expecting an initiative from another person means being manipulative?
What if it’s few friends are getting together for dinner? Usually one party will be coordinating picking the place.Is that also manupilative? Or is it reserved only for females?
come on K admit it, an unspoken (probably unthought but nonetheless true) allure for a woman in a relationship is that she can outsource some thinking and decision making. it’s universally true, and i can guarantee there are instances in your past where you indulged in this.
it’s ok, men do the same thing just with different aspects of daily living. like doing laundry or cooking dinner.
EDIT: come to think of it, this is a great demonstration of how trade and exploiting comparative advantage leads to increased happiness for everyone.
No, expecting initiative (when she actually has a specific thing that she wants) is the unecessary work part. The manipulative part is when she forces him to “suggest” what she was thinking about. This is basically by definition. I don’t come up with this.
I was tempted to say what krnyc said, which is that she wants you to show some initiative, and that the safest option is to provide a few suggestions and allow her to choose. My answers are typically Libertador (Argentine), Big Nick’s (Burgers), and Bann (Korean).
But weren’t you just saying above that " If it’s something a man can do, he does it himself. " ??
I do agree that dividing up responsibilities in a marriage is mutually beneficial. But then you can’t claim a man always does things for a woman while does everything for himself by himself
true i was mixing situations. in the do it yourself category i was talking about simple things like – if you want your book that’s upstairs on the nightstand, you can go get it yourself. that’s foreign to me but my wife does it on occasion and i find it odd/funny why she would ask me to do it for her.
Choosing a restaurant with my family is like a “choose your own adventure” book.
Are we taking the kids? If so, pick a place where the entrees are
No kids? All right…80% of the time my wife wants me to come to the table (pardon the pun) with an idea in mind. If I do, she almost always goes along with my suggestion. Where it gets dicey is if we enter into the whole, “what do you feel like tonight?” Then it can take awhile. But, I’m pretty lucky. We like the same types of food, and if we can’t agree, we have a few places we’re always happy going.
I have an anniversary coming up, and after 10 years of marriage, I’ve finally figured out this is one of those times she wants me to take control of the situation. Speaking of which, I need to make a reservation. BRB.
(Off-topic - did anyone watch the last SNL? During the dating game sketch, one of the guys said he’d take her to Dorsia. Nice little Easter Egg.)
