Music festivals

Before some of you start throwing your tampons in the air. I thought i’d change the subject.

I am going on a stag do (bachelor party) in couple of weeks. We’re going to something called ‘secret garden party’; think semi naked women, drugs, alcohol, loud house music and other unChristian hobbies that will get you into trouble at the gates of heaven.

I’m looking forward to the above (and going to hell)

.BUT here’s the catch; I can’t deal with is camping, without a shower, then going drinking and partying all night and doing it for 3/4 nights solid. How do people clean themselves at these types of events, or wash, sleep?..

Have any of you been to a music festival and can list some essential things bit to pack, or have any amusing stories of things that happen at these types of events?

Wait, so it’s 3-4 nights of camping? How large is this “garden party”? What will temperatures be? Are you sure there won’t be showers?

3 or 4 nights in a row of that sounds like torture, but I’m an old guy I guess.

I like outdoorsy-type things. I enjoy hiking and whitewater rafting and getting in the water and all that stuff.

But at the end of the day, I like a warm shower, clean sheets, and a cool room.

This is a ‘secret garden party’ but there are like 100th people there. In a park or farm of some sort…

Yeah… it sounds like torture for 3/4 nights in a row. I’m actually pretty nervous! I’m 31 man… i aint 24!..

Some of my mates are pretty hardcore and can go on and on all night and into the morning. I am a pussy compared to them… i gotta get a bit of sleep and have some peace and quiet. Not quite sure what to do. It’s my best mates stag do…

Ok, just found the festival you’re referring to.

Here you go:

https://www.bathingunderthesky.com/festivals/the-secret-garden-party-2016

Try to get everyone to reserve a hot tub together for a two hour session each day, if for no other reason than the showers.

Oh yeah! I love that type of outdoors.

But needlessly staying in a tent… with loud music banging in your ear…all night. NA not me!!

Woof, that’s a long time. Longest I’ve ever been able to stand camping is 2 nights, and that’s arriving as late as possible the first night and leaving at the crack of dawn after night two.

I suppose with enough booze though you can just be numb throught the entire thing. There is a certain level of intoxication you can achieve without caring where you sleep or how you smell. Find that.

But to answer your question - I would load up on baby wipes. Doesn’t necessarily get you clean, but it will at least leave you feeling (kinda) fresh.

Also - one tip that we Marines learn during infantry training - if you’re using the same canteen cup for all your hygenic needs, make sure you brush your teeth first, then shave your face, then clean your armpits and ass. If you clean your ass first then use the same water to brush your teeth, you might find that it has a bitter aftertaste.

Speaking of water–make sure you have plenty of it. I’m sure you’ll have plenty of alcohol, but you’ll need to stay hydrated, especially if you’re in the sun.

Also, you’ll be fine. I’m 32 and go very hard at a few 3 day festivals a year. Just give into it and stay hydrated.

If they allow you to, take a small camelback (everyone will be doing it) and constantly drink water, maybe put some pedialyte in it.

If people in your group are going full on, don’t do ecstacy more than two nights unless you want to hate the next week.

I’ve seen people our age go through this a number of times and the story is always the same. After day 1 they basically have an existential crisis where they drag their ass around on the verge of tears because they’re too old, they don’t know what they’re doing here and they can’t do this for the whole weekend. After day 2, they seem to be having fun and on board for the third night. After day 3, they nearly universally say they’re in a groove and could easily do this for a week or two. So just go with it, keep perspective and have fun.

Higgs just said he was leaving for the UK for two weeks. Coincidence? I think not.

If you’re drunk or high, it will fly by and be the best time of your life. If you start feeling down, do more drugs. Simple as that. Find a lake or river to keep clean.

The key to these festivals is to embrace the vibe. Just remember to eat and hydrate. If you’re sober it will be one of the most painful things in your life on a variety of levels, unless you’re a die hard EDM fan.

Alternately, there’s camping options with solitude and showers like this:

http://store.secretgardenparty.com/index.php?route=product/category&path=20_59

But I’d just use the hot tub option since they have showers there for much cheaper and you won’t look like an old annoying PITA.

Also, make sure you have a good foam camping pad like a thermalite 2.5 or 3 inch. Don’t overpack, you can borrow what you need.

People need to be told that?

Having never done any drugs (other than smoking pot), I have to ask…why not?

Ok to consolidate:

Showers: Rent a hot tube each day (book in advance), they have showers at the hot tub facilities.

Items you need: Thermarest pad, small camelback (1L sleeve), pedialyte, sanitary wipes (cleaning and in case toilet paper runs out at the facilities)

Caution: don’t do ecstacy more than one night.

Thanks dude. This makes me feel better about myself.

It makes perfect sense when you’re first reading it. But when your platoon seargent says, “Time to get cleaned up and take a bath”, usually armpits and ass are the first thing on your mind.

Then, after your body is nice and clean and it’s time to brush teeth, that’s when you start thinking, “Oh shit. Like–shit in my canteen cup.” But now you’re out of water, so you can either brush teeth in your ass water, or you can forego brushing your teeth.

Also, your phone will die and texts will likely not go through on site. So stay together, by and large finding friends in a festival is a needle in a haystack thing with low probability of success. Plan meetup spots in advance on the hour sharp if people get separated. Don’t pick a moving display (seen it happen).

BS has written the guide to festivals haha very good stuff