Wow. I’m gone for a four-day weekend and NANA comes back with a vengeance.
Good to have you back.
From the ethical and human development perspective, this website is wrong.
linking the fact that people can have a long term illness where they can’t do it is an extreme case, and it’s a rather poor reason to justify why it is ok for everyone else to be unfaithful.
and yes I do believe the physical attraction is just as important
I don’t think it’s a good idea to cheat on ones partner, and not a good idea to facilitate others cheating but not all extraconjugal stuff is cheating.
There are plenty of things that are immoral but not illegal. And businesses that cater to them. Often, to make such businesses illegal requires a sufficiently invasive state that it’s just better to let that gray zone be legal.
In pilgrim times in the U.S., adulterers were publicly beaten or put in stocks. Yet if you look at birth records and marriage records, you do discover (so I’m told) that even the pilgrims had a bunch of premarital sex going on, and presumably a fair amount of adultery that went undetected or at least unprosecuted.
I think you are misunderstanding my point. I am not saying being unfaithful is an acceptable thing, but there is a difference between being mentally faithful and sexually faithful.
A lot of men would not divorce their wives for younger women but that doesn’t mean they don’t have sex outside their marriages.
I am just using one example to illustrate the motivation to do such a thing, in reality, every family has their story, you can’t conclude that adultery (having sex with people other than your spouse) is morally bad 100% of the time.
I think i am just being realistic and accepting to what’s happening in the real world…
what is mentally faithful how can i be mental unfaithful?
Depends on who you ask. Some couples would say that watching pr0n is (mentally) cheating (obviously not at the StL household). Webcamming would probably be the next step, then strip clubs and lap dances…but then you get into physical touching so…
Somewhere in there is also cheating via text/emails/online messages. If you enter into a sexy chat with someone over the internet on…what the hell is the name of that site? Oomegle or something?..that would be a different level of personal involvement compared to simply fapping to xhamster. Some people (mainly women) consider it “emotionally cheating” if you interact with another human over the computer to get off.
You don’t think sexting with a stranger behind your spouse back is cheating?? Now doing it as a couple activity is another story…
^Just commenting on the “emotionally cheating” landscape; not where my wife or I draw the line.
But, to answer your question, it obviously varies by couple. Sexting would imply you actually know the person, like you’re sexting with a coworker or something. Yes, that would be way too far in my marriage. But if the person is completely anonymous and there’s no chance of a real life hookup? I don’t know…
Think about it like this. Very few married couples actually share their deepest sexual fantasies with each other. But, for most people you can’t just ignore a fetish. It’s hardwired into your brain so either you deny yourself an outlet or seek a safe way to gain satisfaction.
Rule 34 states that if it exists there’s pr0n on the internet of it. For example, want to see dragons having sex with cars? Yes, there’s actually a subreddit for that. So, in theory, anyone should be able to get their fetish fix at some website or another (purely watching videos, no interaction). But, other times a person’s fetish may demand some sort of interaction. That’s where camwhoring comes in. Believe it or not, I’ve never participated, but it sounds rather harmless. You’re still watching a video, it’s just you’re the director now. I can see the appeal I suppose. Is that cheating? I would say no and I’m pretty sure my wife, while not exactly happy about it, would probably be ok with me doing so in moderation. (As an aside, I have no desire to do this. I’m A) too lazy, B) too cheap, and C) not good at typing with one hand.)
Purely anonymous chatting like whatever the hell that site is I can’t remember right now? Kind of the same thing and even more benign than spending money on a cam girl.
TL;DR - Sexting with someone you know or could potentially meet? Yes, we’d have problems. Using a cam girl? That’s pretty iffy right there, but probably ok in many households. Completely anonymous chatting? Sure. Really, what’s the harm?
See, in my book, the anonymity wouldn’t justify sexting. It’s cheating, even if that person is half way around the world. Sad when couples don’t share fantasies. But it does require a special level of trust i presume.
Ask women you know, “would you rather that your husband/boyfriend had a one night stand or that he had long intimate conversations with another woman over a long period of time”?
Ask men an equivalent question.
Observe the differences in their responses.
I’d rather neither to happen… Both are a very serious shake to a relationship
Serious question though, where do you draw the line? Would you be ok with your SO taking some alone time with his favorite tube site? Would you be ok with him entering a completely random chat to discuss his fantasies that he believes you’d find disgusting and possibly break up with him over?
Those are the two examples I can think of where there is no emotional attachment possible. I understand anything where there’s a possibility of developing even an online relationship being damaging, but I’d like to think you’d allow your man some liberties. Either that or you better be down for some really sick shit when you ask him what his deepest desires are. He’s got to get relief somewhere…
I mean, in a way, it’s even worse when your husband is cheating with a stranger and have more intimate conversations and share more private thoughts than with you.
Like he can trust some stranger (maybe a criminal maybe someone who scams) online more than he can trust you? That hurts…
Porn is fine as long as it’s not an addiction, meaning doesn’t disrupt our sex life. I am more wary of the chat rooms. I’d prefer he tested out his desires on me. I am not that easily disgusted. Worst case I’ll (gently) say no. Big deal if he doesn’t trust me like this.
^Ok, just be prepared to dress up as Arya Stark for Palantir one day.
That is so 2012 
You two ladies should learn how to pick men. You would do humanity a favor because all you are going to bring into this world are lower life forms.
IF (and that’s a big IF) that’s true, then you are definitely one in a million. Most girls would say, “you want me to do WHAT? Oh hell no. You’ll be lucky if you get a blow job on your birthday.”