Isn’t it the same thing?
No…tolerating is not the same thing as accepting or being ok with. I tolerate annoying people at work…does not mean I’m ok with it.
What bothers me is that this concept exists only for women’s behavior…
A guy picking up a different woman every weekend is NEVER shamed for that behavior… Hell, for some he is a hero.
This is exactly what you’re looking for. Somehow I’m able to watch this at work, but there is some bad language.
http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/104225/acceptance-speech
That’s not true. After a certain age…right around 24, it becomes increasingly sad to have that buddy that does nothing but brag about how many women he’s slept with. He’s the one that’s out until closing, picking up whatever woman can still stand up.
When guys are 16-22 getting laid as often as possible is an achievement. Shortly after college it starts to get sad and then you realize your buddy just has major self esteem issues.
@bchad I do find the right-wing argument strange, especially wrt to the Sandra Fluke thing. The argument is basically:
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Slutty behavior is bad because it can lead to, among other things, children out of wedlock and more VD
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Government compelling health plans to provide contraception reduces the costs of slutty behavior
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Lower costs for slutty behavior will lead to more slutty behavior
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More slutty behavior is bad, thus the government shouldn’t compel health plans to provide contraception
Item 4 just really doesn’t follow from the above. If forcing health insurance plans to provide contraception leads to fewer aggregate bad effects of slutty behavior, even while increasing slutty behavior, then it could be a good thing. Further, aren’t guys like Rush be worried about poor people and liberals having too many children. Woudln’t they prefer these groups take advantage of such programs so that over the long-run the population changes?
My problem with Sandra Fluke was more 1) law school students complaining about being too poor for contraception is ridiculous from a life cycle consumption perspective and 2) it makes far more sense as an addition to welfare programs than to screw with private insurance more than they already have.
I was referring to early age as well; since later people tend pair off/get married.
But still women simply do not get this “16 to 22” window when they can openly “saw their oats” without being judged. They do not. They either have to do it discretely, or be labeled the infamous s word.
Agreed. Women have suffered long enough.
End women’s suffrage!
^
Well the rules are different since in most places men have to do the chasing
I agree to an extent. First off, I think women are worse at shaming other women than guys are. Secondly, it all depends on how the girl goes about it. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with hooking up with a handful of guys over the course of a semester. Just don’t go through a quarter of a frat house.
Actually, I had a comedy routine about how most of the slut shaming was actually women criticizing other women.
The premise was that when a woman says “slut,” it sounds sharp, like a knife cutting into flesh (“slUT”). When men talk about a slut, it’s warmer (“SLut”), almost with admiration. Because it feels to us that a slut is someone who understands our needs and cares about what we want. I’d then go through a bunch of imitations of situations where the word comes up. It was well liked, but never fully developed.
The one exception of course is the guy who’s been cheated on, and then, of course, he uses it as an insult in anger.
But yeah, if it’s so great for men to sleep with a lot of women, I don’t think it is *necessarily* so bad if women want to sleep with a lot of men. Some people say (correctly, I think), “A slut isn’t a woman who simply likes to have sex; a slut is a woman who doesn’t know how to choose.”
I think for both women and men, the judgement one makes is not so much about the quantity of sex one has, but whether one has taste and standards in who your partners are for such an intimate act.
I really don’t think slut-shaming is that big of a deal. When I was in college, all the guys wanted to hang out the with sluts. No one was shaming them. There’s only slut shaming a) on some cable news show and b) when some girl thinks some other girl is making a play for her boyfriend.
Further, I would push back against your general thrust that men and women should have the same standards of behavior. Men and women have different things going on in their bodies. You will never truly understand what it’s like for a boy to go through puberty, as I will never understand what it’s like for a woman to be in her mid-thirties and not have a child or prospects to be married. However, I’d rather celebrate the differences than try to expect men and women to act the same. After all, evolution moves much more slowly than culture.
That is sadly very much true… I don’t even want to go there.
The reason slut is a distinctly female word is that same reason my dream of being a call girl will never be fulfulled:
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Women can get laid pretty much any time they like. If you don’t believe me, put an ad on craigslist.
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Guys, even when good looking, need to put in some work in the form of charm/conversation/time investment in order to get laid. In short, for guys it requires skill.
So, for guys getting laid all the time by different women means you have a skill (commonly referred to as"game"). For women getting laid all the time by different guys does not display skill. Rather, it displays that it is not difficult to have sex with this woman and that therefore guys who have sex with her do not necessarily have much skill. This is where the team “easy” comes from as a euphemism for “slutty”.
Not saying I agree with it. I mean, it would be great if I, like a woman, could just walk up to a random in line while getting my coffee and say “Let’s go have sex in the bathroom” and she would be all excited (like a guy would) and immediately do it. Unfortunately, that line would only work with sluts ;).
There was a girl who used to give out a lot of handys at our house (more than usual). We jokingly created a club named after her for all the guys she had done it to. One morning a roommate comes back and announces proudly that he joined the XXXX club [name X’ed out]. We were like, so she gave you a handy. And he looked at us confused and said, no I banged her. Then we all laughed at him.
I think that is different concept though. Those are the women with no moral compass that go for married men etc…
My general thrust is women should be allowed to chose their own standard of behaviour, w-out being judged. Precisely for the reasons you are describing here.
I’d always heard my college girl friends pointing out some chick doing the “walk of shame.” I didn’t really know what that meant. For me, it has always been the “walk of pride.”
Pretty much this
Men and women are just biologically different…so they will be viewed differently when it comes to biological matters.
For example, in general, men are bigger than woman and so are expected to “protect” them…why do I have to be judged and called a pussy if I don’t get in a fight for her but if she doesn’t fight for me then she doesn’t get judged?..Same with having sex, were just different…a woman is literally letting someone else inside her (sorry a bit crude)…a man is not, he has less to lose and less to give. Thus, she is viewed as slutty while a man is not. You don’t see men demanding to not be judged for examples like the above.
By the way, i have never been judged or called a pussy for not fighting…I’d fight but I haven’t actually been in the situation yet…in either case I imagine if someone disrespected my lady and I didn’t stand up for her I’d be called a pussy…shit I’d call myself a pussy…but anyway, you get why there are “double standards”…men and women are fundamentally different, so it’s just that way. Equality for voting rights, worker rights, fair pay…is a different story because presumably we all have the same HUMAN brain and our gender does not necessarily make our physical brains different. And I’m not cool with the government using my tax dollars to pay for some sluts birth control…she can learn to close her legs or at least selectively open.