What is society though, its men and women. The men certainly are not forcing your hand -pun intended- into pressuring marriage. So it must come from the women. So you cant blame society but you can blame other women.
How deep is your love for this hoe supyogov? Is it like the ocean? With full devotion?
Yes, so it’s like pot calling the kettle black. Men are not pressuring women to marry, not at all. So only women pressure other women to marry. Thus, it is impossible for this pressure to exist if every woman was not part of the problem. Otherwise stated, women are self pressuring themselves. You cannot call something an external force if you are that force. If only women had the logical thinking ability of men, then they could realize this.
Don’t refer to her in that manner.
I will marry her.
I once said something similar to my SO. It did not go well. The emotional distress level went to 11. My point was proven, though it was still a loss because of the whole “do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” thing.
^ I find that a man’s ability to think logically in relationships is inversely proportionate to the physical attractiveness of the woman. When you remove yourself from the relationship in question, the logical thinking resumes. It’s probably an effect of blood being devoted to other areas. It’s the men that have learned to control their thoughts and emotions in the presence of highly attractive women that are generally the happiest (generally speaking)
Anyway, women put so much pressure on themselves and then inevitably blame men for it. Men want to get with women so they fake their own behaviour to get with said women. It inevitably falls apart and the process begins again.
I always get annoyed with women who don’t veer from their ‘type’. They’re almost 30 and they’re like ‘ugggh this guy is not my type’ and I always just say ‘yeah, well you’re alone…so how is that type working out for you’
One of my friends (she’s 29) has been dating a guy since January some time and told me she wouldn’t mind being engaged in the next few months. I’m just like, woah.
Another friend that just got engaged, she and her bf have been dating since high school so ~10 years before he proposed. Dude that’s way too long, especially because she’s good looking and relatively sane.
Yea 10 years is way too long. I wouldn’t fault any reasonable girl to leave after 3 or 4 years.
I did the same thing once I neared 30 because I couldn’t deal with the psychotic job interview type dates with the frequent breakdowns every time a friend got married. Constantly like “where is this going” on the second date, “when do you plan on having kids” 10 minutes after you met them or “I feel like we haven’t moved forward towards marriage in the last five minutes” instead of just having fun and letting things organically develop. Anyhow, eventually the strategy backfired spectacularly, but it’s all good.
^ probably also due to biology…chicks start thinkin…geez I’m getting near 30 I need to start to settle down with a nice guy and start a family.
^ Did BS mean he had a breakdown or the girl he was dating had a breakdown?
Of course men pressure. Especially the ones in your family ( dad, uncle, brothers etc).
I had no intention of getting married but my parents didn’t leave me alone. And they were getting pressure from their friends and relatives. I hated visiting family as they would try to set me up on date.
The former girlfriend.
When i saw the thread title, I thought it was going to be about how a guy should dodge engagement pressure from a girl (assuming you don’t also want to settle down, that is) . And, the older the girl is, typically the sooner the pressure comes. Best thing to do is avoid ever talking about settling down even if you’re smitten with the lady. Once the topic gets brought up and you don’t avoid it like the plague right off the bat, it’s like opening Pandora’s Box!
I have three points to make:
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it makes sense that a woman would expect an engagement quicker as she gets older. There is less reason to wait multiple years to make the decision since by the age of 30, your personality has, for the most part, fully developed. When people are younger, it is better to wait many years because the personality, life goals, and habits changes a great deal from the age of 16 to 27.
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Both men and women have potentially illogical pressures that come out of the “yard sticking” based in our culture. The pressure to be married just happens to be one for women. It is not surprising, being that not to long ago it was still strongly traditional for the man to work and the woman to be a homemaker. Under that context, a women could not move into adulthood until she was married. Of course society has changed greatly since then, but the stigma of not being married to a BSD still is strong.
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having said that the pressure for a woman to marry is based on a dated, but at one time logical foundation, I will go on to say… women in general need to get their story strait. They need to pick ONE package.
…package #1 … men are providers and protectors and should always pick up the bill and otherwise provide stability for the woman. However, women get lesser opportunity and/ or pay. Women need to marry to survive.
…package #2… women get to have the same opportunities as men, make the same income, and all the independence. However, they must front the bill equally. It is also not a given who is the “homemaker” and who brings home the bacon in any relationship. Men are not expected to make more. Women cannot expect the man to earn more (because they presumably have just as much ability to get it themselves!) Marriage is optional.
Right now feminine culture seems to cherry pick the best from both packages. I’m not on board with that.
Right, and it sets women up for disappointment. “I’m a surgeon and make $1.8m a year. I just can’t seem to find that equally educated guy who makes $2m and has the looks to match. Oh, whoa is me…”
The lines are so predictable. these 2 are the most common I’ve heard 1) “so many of my friends are getting married/having kids/engaged now” ** stares at you for a response** “they post so many pictures on Facebook and they all look happy” ** stares at you for a response** “I’m feeling left out” 2) “my parents keep wanting/telling/asking when I might settle down.” **stares at you for a response** … then: “they seem worried about me”
I get those questions and I’m engaged 
so she wants to punch out kids asap?
suuuure