Our core values and personality tend to “settle” at around age 24-26, after which we change, but primarily in response to external stresses (marriage, divorce, kids, health issues, death of close friends and/or family). Don’t underestimate how big those changes can be, though. If things go wrong in a big way, you may decide that some aspect of your core personality is in need of a drastic overhaul. But our values are often interconnected, so you think you’re changing just one value, but then you discover that many other values need to adjust. Pretty soon, you realize you’re substantially different.
There is also the midlife crisis, where some people question the choices they made earlier and decide they must make radical changes before they become too old, or people suddenly realize there isn’t much time left for certain things on their bucket list so they better push them in there. Men’s midlife crises get more attention and get poked fun at, but women have them too, for sure.
Don’t ask, you should be able to judge her character just by interacting with her. One occassion shouldn’t reflect the story of her life. Take her out, listen and you’ll reach the conclusion on your own as opposed to hearing things from friends.
I’m not too much older than you but i would use this time to date around. If the right girl comes along, great, but don’t rush into things. That’s one thing i regret, i spent all 5 years in nyc in commited relationships when i could have experienced much more. I’m not referring to sex either (although i would be a liar if i didnt admit that this facet doesnt play a role) but just engage in the variety of different women. You are in the mecea of contemporary civilization, explore different cultures (i recommend dating a few greek girls, armenians, brazalians ect).
In relationships, the grass is always greener. You get more and more regular sex in a committed relationship, but there is something exciting about the variety and mystery of playing the field, even if it is ultimately kinda empty and exhausting after a while.
I had a married (woman) friend who said “Marriage is like a castle under siege: everyone outside wants to get in, and everyone inside wants to get out.”
The fewer the better because after a night with me, the more men a woman has had, the more she will regret not having had me for all that time. I’m afraid that enough men would make the poor girl suicidal.
At least, that’s what I assume a woman means after expressing regret the next day.
That being said, this relationship will never work. Not because of how “crazy” she is (answer: not that much). But more because there’s no way she’ll stay entertained by a boring boyfriend.
It’s a big age difference because it is difficult for a 23 year old man to be experienced and interesting enough to hold the attention of a 27 year old woman for long, particularly one who has and/or can attract other options.
That’s not a dig against you, tjcfa. You’re probably plenty interesting to people close to your age. And you’ll almost certainly be more interesting when you’re 27, too. It’s just part of having more life experience.
That doesn’t mean she might not want to have some fun with you, which - if she’s up for it - can be great. But if you’re thinking of a long-term thing with her, that might be more challenging.
You mean my eyesight? That only takes a tumble at around 40.
In my experience, my perspective on the world changes less from 27 to 35 than it did from 20 to 27. Women’s may change more, because of the biological clock thing. From 27 to 35, a man generally feels more in control of his life and more capable and so you generally cruise forward making new personal and professional (and possibly sexual) conquests.
But don’t forget that the external environment matters too. If someone starts flying airplanes into buildings, or there’s a financial crisis and great recesssion happening, or a new technology comes along that makes you either redundant or fantastically wealthy, those things will also affect your confidence and whether things are going right or wrong in your world. Those things can change your perspective dramatically, too, and often in unpredictable ways.
It would be a huge red flag to me if the guy is obsessed with my “number”, vs trying to evaluate my general character.
On my end, I am more concerned with how the guy treats me and many other important aspects, rather than his “number”. I wouldn’t even care to ask. The exception would be if his experience is very limited, which could mean he is likely not ready for anything serious.