here’s the link
Agree with turd (with the exception of his bhad modification - I’m not sure what he’s trying to say so can’t take a position on it).
I’ve got a bromie who was the most impressive slayer I’ve ever met. Pro $hit - just stand there, say some things when they approach (and they did), and TCOB.
He just moved in with a chick with a kid - never thought I’d see it.
Point is, keep doing you. If you want to hit up match.com and slay a few and see what pops up, then do that. Just keep your eyes open, consider the path with the good ones that pop up (hit and quit the other ones), and enjoy life.
Source: 6 years in, putting in work, knowing dudes who made both choices and lived with them, and enjoying the pros/trying to mitigate the cons of marriage. I’ve got a good one - that’s the key.
Like I said in another post about midwest balling - if you want to marry a white chick, head on this way. I’ll introduce you to a few blondes…
I’m ten years and three kids into my marriage. I transitioned out of consulting into finance, got my MBA, and slogged through the CFA as the kids arrived. It’s been the busiest, craziest, and most fulfilling ten years of my life at all levels.
I don’t have a any words of wisdom but it was great this morning seeing my pregnant wife making french toast for the kids (she works in finance too so this was pretty early in the morning) while they buzzed about the new bunk bed and Lightning McQueen sheets that arrived yesterday. Sure beats waking up with a hangover.
You’ve got number 4 on the way? Damn…I got snipped after two. Couldn’t imagine four.
Respect.
the problem is most settle for partners in the 50% compatability range and are tempted all too easily by the other 50%
marriage is a man made prison, you’re doing time!
No, I’m counting the in utero kid. Due in a few weeks so it counts in my head. The wife wants the snip but I’ll see if I can cajole a fourth before I turn 40.
I suspect CvM recently met someone whom he might consider wife material, instead of just reflecting about what could happen in the distant future.
Been married for six years and have two kids. It’s been challenging at times (admittedly, ~70% because of my fault—wifey says I’m batsh!t crazy), but overall it’s been great I wouldn’t change a thing. Unfortunately there are no guarantees and every situation is different.
^ nah, unless you count the ckblock on Saturday. See “How Was It” post.
to answer your original question everyone i know over 35 are married and pretty happy about it/ or at least don’t let the unhappiness show.
if you can’t find a credible girl why not search your parent’s church network?
I’m always down for reading some BChad replies, but had to disagree with you buddy. We studied the research on relationships in one of my psych classes (I took lots of out of business school classes by taking 20+ hour semesters in undergrad, to keep a fresh perspective different from finance and accounting. Finance/accounting in school is generally boring and super easy, anyway). Anyway, I recall the research showed men benefitted from committed relationships more than females. Now, the research wasn’t geared to marriage but I assume it holds true as well. Has to do with females having large networks of people for emotional support, whereas guys tend to be all tough guy with everyone/thing except their significant other.
So my question to you CvM, is are you the typical male? Or have you cultivated genuine support relationships?
Rawraw, my comments were based on research I read about reported happiness. I’ve also seen research on things like longevity, health, etc., and agree that those conclusions tend to suggest that men benefit more from marriage on those scores, presumably, women are better at getting men to do preventative stuff like annual checkups and such, not to mention just being caring in general, and it pays dividends over time.
I don’t remember to what extent the happiness research tried to control for things like health and wealth - surely any respectable study would include these kinds of controls. The main thing I remember was that women got a boost in happiness merely from the fact of being married, whereas men did not. However, there were presumably indirect effects on happiness from marriage like better health, etc… Kids did turn out to be a major source of stress related issues, but also a source of happiness on their own: no great surprise, but people tend to forget that kids swing both ways.
Anyway, as I said, I was just thinking out loud, which is different from me coming down with an opinion that I would defend tooth and nail.
I would say women may get more of an initiation boost at marriage, since they finally turn off the dreaded biologic clock. Men generally don’t really have this issue.
LT… anyone’s game…
I have been married for 6 years and have an almost 3 years old. I don’t know if marriage is worth it, but she certainly is.
I don’t disagree with people over the internet who I don’t think would listen to the disagreement. If I disagree with you (and it’s not in a facetious manner), then it is a compliment 
And I don’t remember if it was happiness or not. But I assume you are a research snob like myself and discount measures that are ‘survey data’ or ‘self reported’. But it may be I’m misremembeing the source (pesky cognitive biases).
I expected you to reply with a “depreciating asset” comment about women. Let me down man 
If you’re a guy, I think leasing until in your early 30s is probably optimal, then buy because you’ll have better and wider variety of choices. In my unscientific observations, girls in their early to mid 20s are generally flaky and annoying. I’ve also noticed that my friends in their late 20s have better success at landing quality women vs. friends in early to mid 20s. So have fun with girls in your 20s, and get serious after.
rawraw, I agree that survey data is not as good as controlled experimental data for a lot of this stuff, but sometimes it is all we have, and sometimes it turns up surprising results that at least force us to think or phrase our questions better.
It’s also true that there are better and worse ways to run surveys, so they aren’t completely useless, assuming the organizers have spent some time doing survey design, pretesting, and aren’t blindly pushing some kind of political or other agenda.
I appreciate your compliment. Thanks. I enjoy a good discussion too, and I’m not afraid to change my mind if I feel the other side warrants it. To me, being able to change my mind when I think it’s appropriate helps me stand my ground when I think that’s what’s required. And sometimes on this board and in other contexts, I take up a position not necessarily because I believe it hook line an sinker, but because the prevailing wisdom is not as cut and dry as it would seem on the surface and therefore another point of view needs airing.
Always enjoy a good conversation partner, too.
CvM, in your original question is the definition of marriage narrowly defined as the union of a man and a woman? #nohomo
This. This is what it’s all about, at least for me (and apparently ATH). If that morning sounds like a nightmare, then marriage might not have the strongest risk/reward characteristics at this time. If it sounds like the greatest morning ever (and it does for me) then maybe you have marriage tendencies.
Certainly there are plenty of others ways a marriage can look, but this is very similar to my own situation and I think it kicks some a**.