To the Person Who Stole my Pulled Pork Sandwich From the Fridge...

Water Cooler
#21

I bet it was that intern. Dude probably got pee everywhere too.

#22

There are notes being posted in my office about a food robbery. Apparently Chobani and Bagels are hard the main targets.

#23

You can attach a scary note like “FYI - Contains exotic spices”

Or exotic nuts…

#24

Or erotic nut.

#25

Spices and nuts are scary now? krnyc - living on the edge.

#26

For me, no… Just from my observations of the coworkers… Mostly “turkey sandwich” guys. I bet they never tried a tongue

And actually the point is to scare people with potential allergic reactions…

#27

Years of working in high finance hasn’t been too good to the blood pressure. I gotta watch it.

#28

A pulled pork sandwich I understand, but who steals a salad. Of course, if you’re in midtown there are tons of healthy places you could go to get lunch and mitigate the risk of theivery.

#29

in all seriousness, you could put a laxative in your next sandwich and then see who runs to the bathroom drenched in sweat. it’s also a solid punishment.

#30

Was your name on either of these items?

Are we ruling out accidental thievery?

#31

a little lobster and caviar never hurt nobody

#32

Put some HOT HOT chili in your food like the one that magician guy has in his yard.

#33

What a coincidence: I was just planning to tell CVM that I have some ghost chilies and some scorpion chilies that are nearly ripe, and that I’d be happy to send him one of whichever he prefers.

#34

Why not answer D) all of the above? So the guy will be tripping on drugs and have explosive hot pepper diarhea and uncontrollable boner at the same time.

#35

And hopefully he won’t wash his chilli-peppered hands before going to the bathroom

#36

That probably should have been done before posting on AF.

#37

Too bad they didn’t steal the tuna salad I just made; I had two habaneros that I needed to use so I tossed them into it. (No, that’s not my customary practice; one is generally sufficient.) That’d teach 'em.

#38

put small gps tracker on bottom of bag, rub wang on it, then find the guilty party

#39

I’ve never been the victim of food theft but there are warnings all over the fridge doors at work. Those warnings and the notices not to kick the vending machines seem to be all HR is good for.

#40

That’s not funny. I’ve done that and the pain is unreal. To make matters worse, my mother-in-law was staying with us at the time and it was slightly embarrassing, me writhing on the floor clutching my steaming hot penis.