^ They’re not scared because there’s little downside risk, because society and the legal system has shown that women can for the most part just peace out and start over with their own little golden parachute.
I was with a woman who earned substantially more than me and who was extremely interested in getting married and having kids with me. She earned so much more than me at the time and had so much better career prospects that she really would have assumed substantial risk.
I ultimately said no for a few reasons. A big one among them was that I did not want to be a “kept man,” and that when it came down to who sacrifices their career for the kids, it was clear that I was going to be the one doing it.
I felt that as she progressed and I didn’t, she would ultimately lose respect for me and make my life miserable. I’m not sure if that already started or not by the time I split up with her, though it felt a bit that way.
But she was really keen to get married, even though she faced most of the property risk. I think it’s not just that she figured she could afford a better lawyer if we split. I think she genuinely believed in forever, and I think that’s not uncommon among women.
They were in shock because she didn’t know that no self-respecting Texan would carry anything other than a Smith & Wesson Model 29 .44 Magnum revolver.
My wife made way more than me last year (bonus is a big part of both of our comp), and I made quite a good living. I don’t feel like a “kept man.” I feel like we are going to have financial freedom by the time we’re forty and will actually be able to enjoy our kids’ childhoods. The way some people let their ego and insecurity rule their lives is really sad. That said, way too many people marry who are not at all compatible…guy marries the hottest chick he’s ever dated (nevermind they share zero interests) and woman marries the guy that “fits” her conception of what a husband should be (tall, respectable job).
If my wife and I were to get divorced, we both know that the other can be a little loco and absolutely ruthless, so we would expect each other to behave accordingly. I mean, neither of us would probably be left standing by the end, houses would be burned down, pets would be executed, cars would be driven into the river. We’d probably go nuclear. So, I believe in the stability of our marriage through mutually assured destruction.
On divorce, there is an interesting dynamic. Many would argue that the divorce laws favor women. However, many would also argue that a divorced, successful man will have much more luck on the dating scene than a divorced successful woman. Society views the man as having experience and the woman as used.
Ha ha, Bchad’s kid if he has one or if he chooses to have one will have his work cut out, that’s for sure and i mean it in a good way.
I don’t think you have to be with a lot of women to realize that personality is as important as looks, that comes intuitively too.
For women, A 7/8 who is fun to be around, has a life of her own, and is on your level financially kicks the perfect 10’s ass and there are a ton of them around luckily.
Thanks for the compliment. However, what I said was “after you’ve been with ‘enough’ women,” which is not necessarily “a lot” of women. How long it takes to figure this out varies with people’s intelligence, depth, and luck of the draw.
@BWYF - You’ve gone from “fiance” to “wife” now? Did you finally do it?
Ah ok, got you 
I agree. Though I think everyone probably needs to have at least one 9/10 in their past so that they know that their choice of being with a 7/8 with personality is a choice they made, and not feel that “it’s just the best I could do.” Otherwise, the more beautiful woman is always going to be an exotic lure, as opposed to “been there / done that.”
What if your marry up, could that be an equal bargain? As a man, your wife is higher on the scale than yourself and that equates to value, from the female’s point of view, you have the stability of marriage.
Definitely. I’ve had guy friends tell me I overachieved (we’re talking about looks), which I take as a complement…maybe I’m just a fugly brah.
In this day and age unless you come from poverty what is marrying up?
Marrying a girl who makes more than you or has blue blood isn’t marrying up.
Absolutely. If I could actually find a woman who isn’t crazy, decently good looking, and earns decent money I’d quickly change my tune and consider wifeying that.
Your telling me that in your life till now in Canada where the women seem fairly attractive you haven’t met a few women who have a good job and are reasonably attractive with a sane head on their shoulders?
Dude, the majority of those are taken or aren’t looking.
In this case, marrying up to me has nothing to do with wealth. I meant more in the sense of looks, personality, ect. I came close to marrying up at the ripe age of 25, twas scary.
Everyone’s looking, the trick is to make them think it ‘just happened’.
For such a thing social circle always will be king.
So you found a woman who was better looking, had a better personality and you didn’t marry her?
Ha Ha, to be fair 25 is too young though, was it like a now or never ultimatum?
I am recently divorced. No kids. I married an attractive attorney and we were married for six years (knew each other for ten years). I am mid thirties while she just turned thirty. Things were fine until she decided that she did not want kids and I did. We came to a joint decision to separate. We were on the same page re: kids when we first got married, but things changed/people change. I enjoyed being married for the most part, but not sure if I will do it again. I really want kids so I may have to.
The hardest part about marriage for me is that my spouse changed. After six years of marriage she was not the same person as the person I first married. That was hard. I thought I would be the last person to get divorced, but it happened. We are both fine and at peace with the decision, but it is still hard. Divorce is a tough thing to go through so really think first before getting married.
In terms of our divorce, we actually agreed on how to divide everything up. I took the retirement money, she took the equity in the house and we had one attorney write up the agreement. It was a true 50-50 and neither of us wanted to “screw” the other person. Having no kids makes a divorce substantially easier.
It is weird being single again. I have no desire to date as yet, but need to start getting back into “the game”. I know I am in for a rude awakening. Text first, never call is what I have been told.
Ahh… You beat me to it! I was just gonna say the same.
Congrats BWYF!!!