Truth, im a dime a dozen.
This thread is really depressing
New York seems like a cess pool for dating for both genders by what I see on this forum.
^no marriage.
Because all women want to get married and all women measure their self worth by their mate/ability to attract a mate.
That situation happens a lot but its equally the guy’s fault for investing time and money in a girl who he just met and knows nothing about. Taking girls to a dinner for a first date is rarely a good idea.
So what’s the solution here?
This is bs. I applaud FT for most of his work but it’s as if he has brainwashed you all into reiterating the same concept (image) of man/woman dynamics. Not all woman seek commited relationships and not all men are looking for the 1 night stand. Though its probably true not to many single guys actively look for a relationship, its not as if they are opposed given the right circumstance either.
^ FT really is the most cynical person on Earth towards relationships. That said, I do share some of his cynicism (though not as extreme) based on what I see with friends and coworkers. And what I see on here. It seems like the world is just full of selfish people saying me me me and thinking their hot shit deserving of 9/10s despite their own obvious personality flaws. All of which makes me really happy to not be playing the dating game and to be happily married.
emichan, are you a 40 year old unmarried woman? No, you are probably in your early to mid 20s, maybe you are even pretty, and you have not yet suffered the ravages of time. Your reproductive system will be in good order for a good decade or so. You are having a good time spending time with your friends and guys who admire an educated women with thin arms. With all the new exciting things in your life, marriage is the least of your worries.
But ask yourself, how many 50 year old women do you know who are not married? How many bitter divorced female managing directors do you work with, who regret a lifetime of pursuing careers rather than their own happiness? As time goes by, eventually, your career will not be enough to make you happy. Eventually, almost everyone (both men and women) will settle down.
It is not a weakness to acknowledge the innate human desire to fulfill social and biological needs. I hope that one day, you will identify a companion to accompany you as you go through life and grow old. Hopefully, this will happen before you realize that the best parts of your life are in the past.
No. FT didn’t brainwash me, just made more aware of his type (and maybe slightly paranoid that I won’t recognize it if I meet s.o. like that in real life). But there is some truth in IB’s words, the hookup culture is growing too much especially for early 20s people. And many women buy into it.
Thanks Uncle ohai. I should introduce you to my mother. No really, I appreciate the comment and I was being snarky.
However–
Yes, I agree that there is to some extent an “innate human desire to fulfill social and biological needs”. And no, it’s not and should not be seen as a weakness to admit to it. That is a very moderate, sensible point of view. As a snarky man-hater (I’m not, not really), I am clinging onto one end of the spectrum, but it seems that the other end is more frequent here.
What frustrates me is the black-and-white view that women want relationships, men want, well, not relationships. It’s frustrating not because I want to argue that it’s statistically true/not true, but because such a belief leads to viewing women as being desparate, while men are not. Sure, I’m sure many women say they want a boyfriend/husband/partner/mate that is well educated, has high earning power, good looking and can cook/fix the toilet/drive a manual/walk on water while having crooked teeth and a flabby butt (how dare she). But guys, guys, with the number of hygenic/cosmetic products geared for women, and the sheer difference in body-image perception between men and women, are you really telling me that there are MORE flabby butt crooked teeth women than men?
What I mean is, just the fact that you believe women are desperate DOESN’T increase your (the male’s) inherent value. First, it’s just your belief. Second, according to your belief, you’re just a means to her end. And no probably no one was saying that specifically, but that smug "oh those desperate women’ undercurrents frustrate me.
And I know I’m biased too. No I’m not actually a man-hater, but I do have somewhat extreme views on marriage. And I dislike children (and self-centered mothers).
Classic!
That’s because the value of p**** is overvalued in the market when the woman is in her 20s. But just like all market bubbles it will burst and that burst usually happens when she hits her 30s.
Not all women or all men are required to fit this stereotype for it to be true. However, it is broadly true among a very solid majority such that, as a social force, women have screwed themselves over (literally and figuratively). And keep in mind that a lot of men and women lie about their motives. Many women say they’re not interested in a relationship knowing that it may scare off men. And, of course, many men say they’re more interested in a relationship to secure the poonanny.
There are very few single women in their 40’s who are *truly* proud of being unmarried.
I think most unmarried men in their 40s probably have some regrets about not locking a (specific or hypothetical) woman down too.
Anyway, the key is finding somebody that wants the same thing. Guys at an after-hour bar picking up chicks are probably not at a place in life that they are ready for (let alone looking for) a monogamous relationship. I think the real problem is people wanting to have their cake and eat it…if you are out drinking and hooking up with brahs and babes for a ONS every weekend you are not going to have the energy to actually reflect on whether you want a longer term thing and on who you may want to have that thing with.
Wednesday night comes around and the nice guy texts the girl what r u doing tomorrow night? the girl reponds that she may have plans but will let him know. Thursday morning he hasn’t heard from her so he texts her and asks if they are on for tonight, she says sure. he picks her up in his fuel efficient car and takes her to a french restaurant where he orders in french. when the check comes he quickly picks it up. After dinner he takes her home and she asks if he wants to come up. In her place they start kissing and she stops and says she’s not ready and wants to take things slow. He says I completely understand. He goes home, googles photos of SRK’s abs, and starts masturbating. That night he can’t stop thinking about her and is happy that he met a hcb. It’s around 10:00 and she suddenly gets a call from the jerk who tells her to come over. He let’s her in, doesn’t say much and lays her down. The next day she is tired from a long night but doesn’t regret a moment. To be continued
Wednesday night comes around and the nice guy texts the girl what r u doing tomorrow night? the girl reponds that she may have plans but will let him know. Thursday morning he hasn’t heard from her so he texts her and asks if they are on for tonight, she says sure. he picks her up in his fuel efficient car and takes her to a french restaurant where he orders in french. when the check comes he quickly picks it up. After dinner he takes her home and she asks if he wants to come up. In her place they start kissing and she stops and says she’s not ready and wants to take things slow. He says I completely understand. He goes home, googles photos of SRK’s abs, and starts masturbating. That night he can’t stop thinking about her and is happy that he met a hcb. It’s around 10:00 and she suddenly gets a call from the jerk who tells her to come over. He let’s her in, doesn’t say much and lays her down. The next day she is tired from a long night but doesn’t regret a moment. To be continued
I think this is a more accurate account of the events.
So everybody wins. The girl gets laid by a real man and the SRK Abs-obsessed weirdo gets to simiulate the pleasure of SRK’s abs.
You can be a gentleman and still get what you want very easy so long as you are man enough to state (do) what you want. You don’t have to be a jerk to initiate sex, there are many polite, but commanding ways, to do it. This cut and dry, nice guy vs bad boy gig is getting tiring.
Agreed, but people just love that meme.