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The most stupid thing you have heard in the office

What’s the most stupid thing you have heard in the office (not necessarily finance related)?

I’ll go first. 

This past week during a meeting with Risk Management, we were going over some valuation stuff using discounted cashflow method. During a break, I overheard the assistant fund manager (he has 4-5 yrs of industry experience) ask a Risk Manager “how does the discount rate increase/decrease impact the asset value?”

I’m still simply baffled how this guy has survived this long in finance. 

It ain't what you don't know that gets you in trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.

i saw an interview with john mauldin years ago where he was fascinated about the inverse relationship in a bond. he actually writes content that a ton of old financiers read.

I love my cheese. I got to have my cheddar.

I heard a CFO say EBITDA stood for earnings before income taxes depreciation and amorization….multiple times in different presentations.

you basically need to come from a target school pedigree/work at prestigious firm in the US/have a really good connection.

- AF hivemind

I had a coworker at a non finance job ask me, after unsuccessfully using a calculator and google how to calculate 3% of $1000 (thought about getting a CD wanted to know how much interest she’d get). I told her the answer, suggested she pay off any credit cards before since that interest is much higher… she was like great idea. I asked her a few weeks later what she did and she used it on a down payment for furniture (???)

We’re gonna win so much, you may even get tired of winning. And you’ll say, 'Please, please. It’s too much winning. We can’t take it anymore. Mr. President, it’s too much.' And I’ll say, 'No, it isn’t!' We have to keep winning!

2016 - “How are you going to celebrate the election?”

“Visit the Water Cooler forum on Analyst Forum. It is the best forum.”
- Everyone

Forget the office, let’s talk about the dumbest statements on AF. 

“Trump will be a disaster for the economy.”  – Everyone but HP and Turd.

“You don’t lose money until you sell.”

82 > 87
Simple math.

Charlie Work wrote:

Forget the office, let’s talk about the dumbest statements on AF. 

“Trump will be a disaster for the economy.”  – Everyone but HP and Turd.

This is a symptom of the need for validation and comparing yourself to others. You should meditate and up your tumeric consumption to get over this.

Schopenhauer wrote:

Charlie Work wrote:

Forget the office, let’s talk about the dumbest statements on AF. 

“Trump will be a disaster for the economy.”  – Everyone but HP and Turd.

This is a symptom of the need for validation and comparing yourself to others. You should meditate and up your tumeric consumption to get over this.

lol, triggered.

Charlie Work wrote:

Schopenhauer wrote:

Charlie Work wrote:

Forget the office, let’s talk about the dumbest statements on AF. 

“Trump will be a disaster for the economy.”  – Everyone but HP and Turd.

This is a symptom of the need for validation and comparing yourself to others. You should meditate and up your tumeric consumption to get over this.

lol, triggered.

If you are triggered, you might need some healing crystals.

I have 2 :

At my job, my co-worker is convinced that he’ll make bank by day-trading oil companies’ stock. He becomes very confused when his positions don’t track the barrel price to a t.

A friend of mine claimed that his bank’s savings account was a scam because he put in money in December and took it out in January and didn’t get the promised 1,50% annual interest. 

If you're the first out the door, that's not called panicking

In private equity, every few months, some clown at a portfolio company or young analyst suggests we can reduce certain expenses by capitalizing them.