AND b/c we still like them even though they are a little odd to say the least:D
Two people are flying in a hot air balloon and realize they are lost. They see a man on the ground, so they navigate the balloon to where they can speak to him. They yell to him, “Can you help us - we’re lost.” The man on the ground replies, “You’re in a hot air balloon, about two hundred feet off the ground.” One of the people in the balloon replies to the man on the ground, “You must be an actuary. You gave us information that is accurate, but completely useless.” (Attributed to David Fountain) The actuary on the ground yells to the people in the balloon, “you must be in marketing.” They yell back, “yes, how did you know?” The actuary says," well, you’re in the same situation you were in before you talked to me, but now it’s my fault." (This joke was improved upon by both John Dinius and Stacey Haws)
An actuary is walking down the corridor [not the 10% pension corridor!] when he feels a twinge in his chest. Immediately, he runs to the stairwell and hurls himself down. His friend, visiting him in the hospital, asks why he did that. The actuary replies, "The chances of having a heart attack and falling down the stairs are much lower than the chances of having a heart attack only. (Kelly Wagner, a CPA who works with a lot of actuaries]
Always good to have a laugh while counting down. If you add a joke, pls do so in good taste: not gender, hormon high, racially discriminating/offensive or otherwise just bad. Will try to add more now and then for anyone needing some light entertainment.