http://wisconsincheesefactory.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/the-only-resume-you-need-to-see.pdf Look at this confidence. This guy is destined to be a BSD in no time. Better hire him before someone else gets him.
possibly one of the worst things i have ever seen
bleah
Lol, oh my.
did anybody else notice that you can just copy and paste into a word document to see all the blacked out parts?
Love it. Has anyone else here seen the book “overqualified”? It’s pretty much amazing and kind of honestly reads the same. http://www.amazon.com/Overqualified-Joey-Comeau/dp/1550228587
he worked at Hollister - total intern material
This guy has nothing on Aleksey Vayner.
go gator
the only thing funny about this is that this guy has no idea how he is perceived…kinda reminds me of myself sometimes…sad.
The only little respect I have for him is that at least his work experience is more honest than Aleksey Vayner’s. Hollister store greeter + Sylvan learning center secretary work. score.
“I’m not asking that you do this for me. I’m asking that you do this for us.” Blech…
Actually this is not really over-the-top bad. Sure he sounds like an a$$ but this kid is probably just 19. I see potential in him to be a full-fledged Dbag down the road though.
This dude shares my alma mater. Le sigh.
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. But I have not yet gone to college.
^Now that’s good writing right there.
wow that’s funny Starving - btw I hope you are doing better than when you picked your AF ID
this is the kind of guy who when you ask him what he has been up to lately, answers “oh you know, I have been making moves. Making things happen… you know”
that made my morning. now i’m awake