Labels inside T-shirts around the flank area.…just why ? There is already one in the neck area + a price tag when you buy the T-shirt. Why put another one in a place where it will rub on your flank and itch? Oh right, so we can be reminded that the t-shirt is 100 % cotton and made in bangladesh ? There are more t-shirts than humans on earth. How much longer do billions of individuals need to be annoyed for no apparent reason ?
Electronic devices with little blue lights that blink when you turn them off…WHY ??? In case you want to find your TV in the dark ? Now my living room is a fuckin Christmas tree from all the blinking stuff. What happened to things that don’t remind you that they are there when you don’t use them ? What’s next, are they going to start making little constant noises ?
The safety feature on every gas can I own. I’m an educated man. I’m also handy. But i’ll be damned if i can get a single one of my gas can pour spouts to allow gas to pour through them. I have one that the instrcutions tell me to “lift and turn while pushing.” Lift and turn and push what? There’s a yellow tab that has a lock and unlock symbol, but the turny thing is spring loaded so it always re-locks. Holding it up and unlocked is a 2 handed operation. So now I’m over here stroking off a gas can while hollering at my wife to pour it into the damn mower before I lose my grip. At this point I just fill my lawnmower by pushing it to the gas station and letting loose with a controlled spray of the hose from a reasonable distance.
I hate it when I just wanna buy some razor cartriges and they are behind the case with no employees around. I just wasted 10 min of my time looking for assistance (ok maybe 7min). Sometimes they even have to ask someone else for the key. Really. I mean I get why they are locked up as they are expensive, but really. This is why I always remember the word really in the top languages. English: Really. Really? Spanish: En serio. ¿En serio? Mandarin: Zhen de (真的). Zhen de ma (真的吗)?
Also, ever stop in NJ to get gas? Full service is the law. I don’t want someone to pump gas for me and I don’t want to tip them. I do tip because it is just proper form, but really. Really.
I was at a rooftop bar the other day, and the waitress is quite cute, buxom, and wearing a low cut dress, thus exposing a decent level of cleavage. Anyway, it gets windy and a bit cold later. The waitress comes back at some point and her dress line is like neck level now. Apparently, she rolls the dress up and down to suit the situation. I thought it was an interesting feature. Also, the wind flipped over a cup and spilled beer on my friend’s crotch; that was highly amusing.
I lived in Allamuchy, NJ for 18 months in '93 & '94. The first time I stopped for gas I hopped out of the car and started to pump the gas myself (the normal procedure in California); the attendant nearly gave himself a hernia rushing over and grabbing the nozzle from me.
The self-serivce gas station was pioneered here in LA. The guy started killing by offering cheaper gas than all full-service stations around and his ancestors now run a multimillion dollar diversified O&G company. That’s an awesome example of American Dream reality.
It took me 2 years to accidentally figure out how the safety spouts on my gas cans work (it’s shockingly easy). I think I broke 4 or 5 of them in the process.
I remember going back to a woman’s place one night. This was not on the original plan, so I needed to stop at a 7-11 to pick up some protection, and lo, the things are sitting behind the cashier’s counter. I can’t even read the packages and see which is which.
A mom and her kid is behind me in line, and I so have to tell the guy I want some condoms. It’s 10:30 at night.
“Which ones?” He says, pointing to the case… There are some 15-20 different types. Meanwhile I can’t read a damn thing written on them from 15 feet away behind glass with a glare from the lights above.
“Just give me the ones that is your wife’s favorite color.” He hands me a pack of I-don’t-know-whats.
I get back to the car, and my date asks me: “What the heck did you say in there???”
“Why do you ask?”
Because I watched you say something and suddenly the woman and the kid behind you in line burst into laughter.
