Bosses who like to berate

I’m actually not too against the F bomb like most people here are. Not sure what kind of calm cultures you guys are in, but it’s pretty active in mine. I think it was ok, though I myself may not have used it at that moment.

Why do you still work there? Doesn’t sound fun.

in my company, and particularly from this guy (who is the owner of the company), the word ‘fuck’ is used in confrontational ways all the time. i wish i could convey how this word has no special meaning in my office. no one in the meeting was shocked at the use of the word.

anyway, i’m still alive. the same day i finished another assignment for him and even added some extra analysis to indicate no hard feelings (even thought i’d still like to rip his throat out - serenity NOW!). I did get a new assignement from him today that i’m not sure what to make of. It’s writing the market update for our quarterly investor reports, which is traditionally a portfolio management function vs my current acquisitions role. could be viewed as a ‘high value’ assignment, but it’s also a pain in the ass. so i’m thinking it serves his purposes perfectly.

the fun is wearing off for sure. i’m basically waiting for my profit sharing to come in, then i’m going out on my own.

I have to disagree with the general consensus here. He had already realized he had gone too far and was starting to backtrack, so the pointless, unjustified abuse was over. By interupting his attempt at smoothing things over, you infringed upon his authority (he’s the boss right?) and made him look stupid infront of the group.

A better plan would have been to let him finish and then either just let it go or brought it up with him later in private. That path can obviously no longer be taken, so I would go to him privately now and apologize for interupting him and potentially embarrasing him infront of the group. I would also explain why you felt the need to stand up for yourself though.

Its hard to play the optimal hand in the heat of the moment, but I agree with Higgs, it would have been better to give someone above you (esp the owner), a graceful retreat and to take his tantrum with class. He already knows he’s gone too far and started backtracking, let him go home in one piece. This is not a scalp you need. If he’s not a complete idiot he will understand you let him bow out with some face. I think it’s about choosing your battles, going up against the owner and challenging his authority is a bad idea and a high risk play with little payoff… Defending yourself against a person one or two levels higher than you can yield a good risk/reward ratio.

I would have tried to say something like “Thank you for your advice, I will incorporate this into my next presentation - if you agree with my fundamental points; I’d like to proceed to the next part of this meeting…”

With regard to Turd telling off his boss: I think your boss probably could see in your face that you were getting upset, so he tried to smooth it over a little bit. Turd was already pissed but didn’t want to appear to need consolation (good on you) and basically said “I’m not a baby, proposal was approvaed, we’re all busy, let’s move on.” Fine. I think the details are kind of important. I mean, was the boss harping on font colors or numbers?

On cursing: know your audience. Someone screwed us on a trade a while ago and I was sitting with the trader, lawyers and some intermediaries. The lawyer, who is used to dealing with traders, told the counter party to “Go f@ck themselves” calmly and in no uncertain terms. In my opinion, if you’re going to curse make it count. Saying “can we just f@cking move on?” is kind of wierd, since the profanity isn’t needed to make the point it just shows emotion, which is not what I’d be trying to do. I’d want to be stone cold. To each their own.

Higgs brought up the point that the guy was trying to extract himself, which is a point I’d forgotten. I basically agree with higgs that if the person realized he’d stepped over the line and was trying to extract himself, it’s not necessary to go after him with a 2x4. A small teasing remark acknowledging his silliness might be in order, but certainly not a full-on profane attack.

Anyway, we all have our way of dealing with things. Let’s see how this plays out.

It’s a lot easier for us to sit here in our chairs with time to think about the best response for the situation. In the heat of the moment you don’t have that luxury, bar the F-word (I would be fired on the spot if I said that to my MD) I think I would probably have reacted in a similar fashion.

Disagree that it would be hard not to respond like that. This sounds like a Turd moment. Anyway, sounds like the guy was a bit remorseful for his initial behavior, so hopefully, he will realize the moment of mutual DB and move on.

dude you need to do 1 of 2 things

1)take him out to a nice dinner, get all liquored up, go to the local ti*ty bar get him the champagne treatment and a happy ending (not from you, from the stripper) then tell him if he ever disrepeskts you, you will show these pictures to his wife and make his life miserable.

2)actually dont have a #2 yet, let me get back to you

Write him a note.

Turd, send him a yoga mat. And then tell him you think you two should downward dog together.

you should have 3-D printed all over his face. what a wanker

Had that happen to me one time when I was working in private equity, and this investment banking associate was going on and on about his “rager” weekend in Vegas. He went on for like three minutes. The rest of his banking team and my PE deal team are on the line, wnodering when this is going to end. The seniors on my team were too nice to say anything, mostly because they probably thought this guy was just young and typically immature.

Anyway, I really just wanted him to shut his trap because he was wasting everyone’s time talking about random jibber-jabber instead of getting this deal done. With all the self-discipline in the world, I restrained myself from cursing him out and simply said, “OK, that’s awesome. So, about that financial model you were supposed to finish for us – I’m still waiting on that. You gonna send that to me sometime this year?”

It was all business after that.

youre MINT!!!

Real BSDs don’t shout, don’t swear and usually don’t say a great deal…

Really? I mean its not that introverts can’t make successful careers in finance, but they are hardly going to be what anyone calls a BSD (not necessarily a bad thing either!).

Introvert has got to be one of the most misunderstood terms out there.

What do you understand introvert to mean?

If someone is quiet, softly spoken and doesn’t swear, knowing nothing else about them, would you describe them as an introvert or extrovert?

If someone describes themselves as a ‘BSD’, swears in public, and is confident enough to say whatever is on their mind in front of a large audience, knowing nothing else about them, would you describe them as an introvert or extrovert?

Which of the above two personality types do you think other people are more likely to regard as a ‘BSD’? Which most closely resembles the hollywood stereotype BSD characters seen in movies like Wall Street, Wolf of Wall Street etc?