So I shagged my former managers wife, and now the poor guy has discovered from email chats in his wife’s laptop.
We stopped the affair 3 years ago (it was my decision - I got a wife). We used to meet with the wife in a charity I volunteered, one thing led to another and she was in love with my big swinging dick (in the literal sense) while the hubby was my manager. I changed jobs for fear the guy may know.
The guy sent me an email threatening to mess up with my life and have me deported. I can’t be deported because I am a citizen( I live in Australia) but pretty sure he can mess me up, we work in the same industry, share colleagues. He was a horrible manager but the wife is really hot ( she said he was hopeless in bed).
i do not see any way out of this amicably, I didn’t break any law - should I get a restraining order? I have not been in touch with his wife and was worried this will happen some day.
Yes, I already told her before we got married. I had actually moved on.
It started as a spontaneous thing - and I would say she seduced me as opposed to the other way round, my only misjudgement was to offer her a lift from a ball for a charity we are both members. She told me she had a vanity of making love to a black guy - and then I happened to be the first one she had ever been close to. It was wrong but those judging me what would you have done with a woman without a top in your car? Run? Emotions overcome reasoning sometimes. I don’t want to be too graphic this is a finance forum, I will apologise to the guy but I don’t want this to a ‘he said’ ’ she said’ kind of thing, otherwise I am tempted to say ‘I did not have sex with that woman’.
Well, perhaps - since he knows about your affair from emails you sent her, and so presumably has proof of your deeds - what you should do is write a note apologizing and saying what you said above. That it wasn’t intentional, you weren’t the initiator, you got caught up in the emotion at the moment, and that - for what it is worth - you regret having done that.
It will give him at least a little peace to know that you didn’t do it specifically to spite him. He won’t calm down right away, probably, but it might be like turning off the heat on a pot of boiling water.
Anyway, this is the risk you run when doing someone else’s spouse, plus it makes you look like a hypocrite if you ever complain about your own spouse’s infidelity. Good luck with however it goes.
No love here man…You reap what you sow…Plenty of fish in the sea. I banged a classmates GF once. Felt great while doing it but once I realized the pain I caused, I felt like total piece of shit (although we did it one more time after he found out). They ended up getting married though, which makes me belive that I help make their relationship stronger in a way.
I agree on this. Engaging with a pissed off husband is a good way to get broken windows or worse. Guys don’t just randomly go through their wife’s email 3 years later for no reason. He was probably snooping for information about whether she was currently having an affair and hit upon yours. If he has reason to suspect her now, she’s most likely still having affairs, just not with you.
I feel like that is the best course of action here – just point out the obvious.
“Look bro, your wife’s a tramp. She’s probably fucking half the neighborhood right now. Deep down you know this is true and that’s why you were reading her emails. This isn’t about me, it’s about you and your trampy-ass wife.”
That should fix everything. Trust me, I’m an expert at this kind of stuff. This is a can’t miss approach.