I am. And you people sicken me with your sex and your choice of girls and going out all the time and having fun… Its all very troublesome – what is going to happen to this country (referring to US). you should be sitting at home watching the Bachlorette as you watch your gonads shrivel up. Its the right thing to do. Its the moral thing. jcole21 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > comp_sci_kid Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > So… how many of the posters on this thread are > > actually married? 0? > > kthnksinfobye > > > I am.
Mr. Pink Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > (I don’t care how much you love your > 40-year-old wife, 20-somethings will always be > smoking hot and your instincts will want them). > True, but the moment the 20-somethings open their mouth to say anything, I go back to liking the 40 year olds. Wisdom is sexy.
I thought you were 20sh bchadwick Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Mr. Pink Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > (I don’t care how much you love your > > 40-year-old wife, 20-somethings will always be > > smoking hot and your instincts will want them). > > > > > > True, but the moment the 20-somethings open their > mouth to say anything, I go back to liking the 40 > year olds. Wisdom is sexy.
So now I’m questioning the relationship with the girlfriend. She’s very beautiful, and we get along great. But I can’t help but think, “can I do better?” But it’s stupid as aside from not getting it like I want she’s everything I ever wanted. I feel as though I’m on one of those game shows in which I have won a Toyata Camry but I can trade it in for what’s behind the “mystery curtain.” Stupid decision…keep the car, right? Also I just entered my 30s which changes things a bit. If this was happening at 23 there would be no question… play the field and let the chips fall. But I could see her being the perfect wife/mother. Anyway we’ll see how this plays out. I think what I really want is a sex-filled weekend romp with The Therapist, which gets all my ya-ya’s out.
So here is the thing. This girl you slept with KNOWS you’re in a relationship and still slept with you. You have to ask yourself how you would feel when she sleeps with another guy and you’re with her. Chances are she will not change her ways for you, no matter how deep the connection she will most likely give her “therapy” to someone else. I say stay with the GF, hold the memory, but also remember how nervous/anxious you feel about the decision. I bet all the money in my account that you have been treating the GF extra well over the past few days.
This is - IMHO - where you have to look critically. If she doesnt mind that you cheated - then you wont mind it when she does the same thing to you. I would always be wondering if it were me. Kudos to ASS_MAN ASSet_MANagement Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > So here is the thing. This girl you slept with > KNOWS you’re in a relationship and still slept > with you. >
It sounds kind of surreal to me. You are not going to break up with your GF for a girl who gave you herself the first night. Nobody breaks up with a GF for this kind of girl ever. I mean she is not a slut probably, but sometimes everybody is a slut, you were equally a slut in that situation. You used each other for sex, that’s it. She already forgot your name. Just forget it. You can go to another sex therapist for consultations with your current GF, and if that does not work you could break up. But not for the girl who does not remember your name, and most probably used some sort of fictitious name to spend one night, girls always do that. And “sex therapist”, come on, sounds more like a fictitious profession, girls like to say they are singers, dancers, models, whatever, and probably she is an investment banker
> and most probably used some sort of fictitious name to spend one night, girls always do that. Oooh, where do I go to find THEM???
this is hilarious to OP yah def break up with perfect GF to chase the floozy … Dont get confused guy … “I keep both of my heads where they’re supposed to be…”
ops, I meant “one night out” which might continue or might not. Girls just as guys don’t believe in even moderate probability to find the love of life in the bar or in a disco club.
No matter how good she looks, some guy somewhere is sick of her sh*t…
MoneyMan_CFA Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > No matter how good she looks, some guy somewhere > is sick of her sh*t… I’m getting that way with the Brazilian. God damn she looks so good though.
Just curious, what is it about the Brazilian that is annoying you?
I guess I am odd man out here, but this seems wrong on so many levels. I could write an expose, but I’ll try to keep it short. Re: Idealized I’ll take the flipside of that coin. The divorce rate in this country is around 50% (though it does drop significantly for those who marry after 30). But the reality is that this number is held down by uber conservative religious people, old people who have been married for decades and would never divorce now even if they wanted to, and conservative folk in the Midwest and some areas of the South. I don’t know where the OP lives, but he sounds like a city boy (how many rural sex therapists are there?). If you adjust for these factors, the actual probability of divorce is over 50% for his ilk. Further, on anonymous self-reported studies, over 60% of men admit to cheating, and over 50% of women admit to it. The real numbers may be higher here as well. Adultery is one of the leading causes of divorce and he’s already cheating just two years into a proposed life long commitment. Red flag. Further still, people are living longer and longer due to medical advances. So he might be “hitched” to his current GF for upwards of 50 years. Mr. Pink wrote a great post about lust vs. love (kudos), but it seems idealistic to think that a person could be happy over a multi-decade period of time if his / her needs aren’t being met, which they apparently aren’t here on either end (gotta wonder why the GF isn’t trying that hard – how happy is she in all of this?). It seems unfair to both people to stay in a relationship with someone when you’re not happy with it – why waste their time or yours? How is that love? If you really love someone, why would you cheat on them? If you really love someone, can you see wasting their time for the rest of their life by giving them less than your best in the relationship? Those sort of actions seem way more unrealistic (if not out right self serving) to me than the lust vs. love debate outlined by Mr. Pink. Slave just described his gf as a frigging Toyota Camry. No one wants to drive a Camry forever. Anyway, Slave, that’s a tough spot. Good luck with your decision.
OP is facing an optimal stopping problem, which confronts people who believe in marriage or some permanent monogamous relationship. There’s something called the secretary problem that models the solution, but it requires the total number of candidates you will encounter, which is uncertain. If you think the number is n then you reject everyone before n/e and keep the first one that shows up that’s better than the rest so far. If your n is 100 then you’re not supposed to consider anyone before you’ve sampled 37 women, and then you only keep the new one that blows them all away. The probability of getting the best of n is only 37%. The situation will be improved if you can increase n, or go back to select candidates from a queue. Obviously none of this is a real problem for those who will not be keeping anyone for long.
+1
anon2 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > OP is facing an optimal stopping problem, which > confronts people who believe in marriage or some > permanent monogamous relationship. There’s > something called the secretary problem that models > the solution, but it requires the total number of > candidates you will encounter, which is uncertain. > If you think the number is n then you reject > everyone before n/e and keep the first one that > shows up that’s better than the rest so far. If > your n is 100 then you’re not supposed to consider > anyone before you’ve sampled 37 women, and then > you only keep the new one that blows them all > away. The probability of getting the best of n is > only 37%. The situation will be improved if you > can increase n, or go back to select candidates > from a queue. Obviously none of this is a real > problem for those who will not be keeping anyone > for long. I think this is laid out in ‘Tipping Point’ by Malcolm Gladwell. I decided to get married after reading that section.
^ Just started reading this book yesterday. Good to know. The book is looking pretty good from the get-go.
“We can stop chasing it, but it’s hard for a man to turn down sex. If they chase us, we can’t run that fast” - Chris Rock
advice from my youth…why buy the cow when the milk is free?